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"Hang me by the toilet and wipe your bum on me"

(36 Posts)
StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 18:17:43

AIBU to be irritated by being "spoken to" by inanimate objects. It's happening more and more. I went to the supermarket this afternoon and in the entrance a voucher was calling "Scan me and save £5". I quite often buy ingredients that tell me directly how to cook them "Roast me with a little oil and some garlic", "serve me with warm crusty bread", "do not turn me upside down"

Is the world going mad, or am I?

foxinsocks Sat 13-Sep-08 18:18:41

do you actually hear the voices?

sallystrawberry Sat 13-Sep-08 18:18:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BroccoliSpears Sat 13-Sep-08 18:23:36

Mumsnet: waste days of your life on me.

Eddas Sat 13-Sep-08 18:36:12

grin i know exactly what you mean but until you'd pointed it out I didn't realise how mad it isblushgrin maybe it's people like me they are talking too

FabioBigBangBlackHole Sat 13-Sep-08 18:38:48

the escalator in tesco's talks to you

it says you're about to near the end of the escalator, watch it and hop off smartish (words to that effect)

prob v useful if you're blind - but you'd have a foot out to feel? WannaBe?

you may all be amused to learn I typed blind as 'bling' 3 times before I managed to hit 'd'

....useful if you're bling...

CostaRicanCod Sat 13-Sep-08 18:40:17

ah i haet the aussie conditioner i haev
to use it i have to have some "good" music and a candle

its all subjective isint it

FabioBigBangBlackHole Sat 13-Sep-08 18:49:25

try switching the candle and music for a shower hose and some water

you will look less mad much better

crumbs of wax in your hair and humming along to barry manilow is not a good look, lady

TheHedgeWitch Sat 13-Sep-08 19:28:30

Message withdrawn

StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 20:32:53

I quite like the escalator message, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to think there's someone up there watching out for me
(Plus I live in a little village and don't get to go on them very often!)

onepieceoflollipop Sat 13-Sep-08 20:35:21

heard in the "feminine hygiene" aisle - "pop me up your fanjo!" grin

Twelvelegs Sat 13-Sep-08 20:35:22

Stop going to Asda, Aldi and Lidl (sp) never use so much text on products!!! wink

StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 21:03:50

It was tesco! Although I've seen it in most places.
After all if I steak was going to talk it wouldn't say "I go well with a full-bodied red" it would say moo, wouldn't it?

StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 21:04:53

But funny you should mention, I am planning to go to Aldi near us soon - if they don't do the patronising thing I will be very pleased

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Sat 13-Sep-08 21:05:21


onepieceoflollipop Sat 13-Sep-08 21:06:53

In our Aldi they are so short staffed that the staff barely have time to talk to you. (they do smile and say thanks etc, but they have to concentrate on scanning very very fast)

memoo Sat 13-Sep-08 21:09:42

OMG do you all have mental health problems? grin

ethanchristopher Sat 13-Sep-08 21:12:20

how would the escalator know that one person is coming to the end?

GrimmaTheNome Sat 13-Sep-08 21:19:32

Polar, The world is mad. [the instructions on toothpicks prove that, even without them being personified.]

Douglas Adams would be turning in his grave. The only place your entree might make a serving suggestion is the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, not the supermarket.

Twelvelegs Sat 13-Sep-08 21:20:01

I've never been to an Aldi as I've no idea where one is, and therefore I would not save money driving miles!!

StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 21:40:41

Bite my ripples

StealthPolarBear Sat 13-Sep-08 21:41:11

Fabio - who are you??

CostaRicanCod Sat 13-Sep-08 22:24:13

they do scan very fast at aldei dont htey

emj23 Sat 13-Sep-08 22:37:49

That is irritating. I found it vaguely annoying already, but now it's been pointed out I'm going to notice even more.

Bit random, but I'll ask anyway - Apparently, the amount staff were paid in Aldi used to be higher than other supermarkets because they had to memorize and key in all the prices. What happened after they started using scanners instead. Is it less well paid now?

theSuburbanDryad Sat 13-Sep-08 22:44:04

On a similar note - I don't like the way my local takeaway anthropomorphises their product.

They are now advertising "Mr Southern Fried Chicken".


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