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NOT TO CALL "FRIEND" BACK?

(14 Posts)
hifi Wed 10-Sep-08 12:24:33

i dont know if im being childish but here goes.
her dd and mine went to nursery together, we met in the park etc for them to play together. they have been round to mine loads of times to play and have tea, we havent been invited round to hers once.

i have looked after her other dd quite a few times when she has been stuck, whole days sometimes, its not something i enjoy but do it to help out.

it all seems one sided, whenever i have dropped her dd off she never even invites me in.

havent heard from her for a few weeks as we have been on holiday , been back a couple of weeks and the first text i have from her is to ask me to commit to a day to have dd some time in november, no how are you. i think shes just using me as free child care. havent replied just waiting for her next text.childish?

nametaken Wed 10-Sep-08 12:33:53

YANBU - I've never really understood how people can just continually take like this and never offer anything in return. Ignore her and say no.

Mine Wed 10-Sep-08 12:34:55

i don;t think you are being unreasonable, but have you tried texting/asking her if she's free one afternoon for you and dd to pop over for a cup of tea and suggest that you bring the cake....???

If she's not very forthcoming then you'll get a better idea that she might be using your friendship for when its convenient for her....

greenandpleasant Wed 10-Sep-08 12:35:47

YANBU. She is taking the piss. If you want to stay friends reply and say sorry can't commit to having her dd but would be nice to meet up together and have coffee / playdate, go to park one day etc.

If you're not bothered about her, just ignore and see what happens, you can always say you didn't get the text.

RnB Wed 10-Sep-08 12:37:47

Message withdrawn

hifi Wed 10-Sep-08 12:38:33

i do like her, my dd loves her dd.she has a lot on,juggling lots of part time jobs, her house is a real tip,i hope its not the reason she doesnt invite me in.
mine, i think thats a good idea, might try it for next week.

tamarto Wed 10-Sep-08 12:39:10

YANBU Say no then move on.

trumpetgirl Wed 10-Sep-08 12:42:02

I never used to invite people in, because my house is usually a tip. I need at least a days notice!!
However, I would have asked how your holiday was before asking you to look after my child... that's just common decency!!!!

Jux Wed 10-Sep-08 12:47:28

Agree with trumpetgirl. Your friend might just be embarrassed and not want you to see her house close up, but not to ask how your hol was is inexplicable.

AbbaFan Wed 10-Sep-08 12:49:05

I have a neighbour that is just the same as this (apart from the babysitting part). I always invite her round, she is happy to come etc. However never get invited round there properly, although have 'popped in'. I have got to the point where I am now offering any more, but am still friendly.

I would just text her back and say, 'no, sorry I don't want to be tied looking after anyones child all day'.

If you just ignore it, you are going to have to deal with it at a later date.

Geepers Wed 10-Sep-08 12:49:41

I have a friend who has never once been in any of my homes. I have lived in three different houses over the 10 years or so since I have known her.

There are a few reasons, the first is that she doesn't drive so unless she wants to take a few different busses and travel for hours she can't get to me. Also she is very highly strung and always gives the impression of being most comfortable in her own home. Thirdly she smokes a lot of cannabis. Her choice in her own home, but I don't smoke and wouldn't like it even in my garden.

We get on well, I see her a few times a year and I'd hope she isn't upset at never seeing where I live. She certainly doesn't ever give that impression and I hope she knows me well enough to know she could turn up any time and be welcome.

AbbaFan Wed 10-Sep-08 12:51:01

Even if her house is a tip, she should clean it a bit and invite you round. It's just so rude to take, take, take from people.

AbbaFan Wed 10-Sep-08 12:52:37

Geepers - I think that is fine in your situation, as you see her so little.

hifi Wed 10-Sep-08 13:02:32

i think i will wait till she texts again as im the only one she will leave her dd with other than grandma and childminder.
i will see what she has to say then maybe tough for once in my life and say no. her dd hasnt seen me for about 7 weeks now so i doubt he will be ok with me.

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