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I decide when dd has school lunches, right? Not her friends?

(61 Posts)
Cappuccino Wed 10-Sep-08 10:01:10

I know I am right I am just having a wobble

I want dd1's school lunches to be on the days I don't have to make sandwiches for dd2 at preschool to make it easier for ME

she wants school lunches on the day her friend has them so they can sit together

we had a big meltdown this morning

I am right aren't I? Or am I Bad Mummy who is ruining her social time? (she's 7)

cupsoftea Wed 10-Sep-08 10:02:11

could her friends change to your days - tell her to ask them this...

sinkingfast Wed 10-Sep-08 10:02:32

Can you meet halfway and speak to friend's mum to see if there's leeway at her end? Or make it that one day you'll compromise and another day she will?

overthemill Wed 10-Sep-08 10:02:41

you are not abad mummy but it is hard for them when they swap and change as they fear they will be all alone

ask the other mum if they could change too?? that sounds so daft but it might be worth it!!

MrsDanversApron Wed 10-Sep-08 10:02:59

I think you are being unreasonable. At that age doing stuff 'with your friends' is a Big Deal.

I make 5 packed lunches every morning, knocking up a sarnie is hardly back breaking work.

hana Wed 10-Sep-08 10:03:45

gawd no you can't ask the other mums to change!

ummadam Wed 10-Sep-08 10:03:57

is a compromise reachable? I would probably feel the same as you about the additional hassle but having been to a school where school lunches and packed lunches had to be eaten in separate areas it was sometimes a bit lonely if your friends were doing the other.

If she is 7 could you teach her to make her own sandwiches and make that a condition of having them on a day you have other plans?

ConnorTraceptive Wed 10-Sep-08 10:04:17

ah I know you are right but remember how important these things are when you are 7!

castille Wed 10-Sep-08 10:04:26

It's awful for a child to have to eat in the canteen on hi/her own, so I can see your dd's point.

But can also see yours. Can you and friend's mum discuss?

OrmIrian Wed 10-Sep-08 10:04:36

I am having a similar low-key ongoing debate with DD atm. She wants school lunches on Monday because they have ice-cream hmm And on Wednesday because Chelsea has them then grin

I don't see why they can't sit with their friends even if they do have packed lunches. It's a bit unfair.

Dropdeadfred Wed 10-Sep-08 10:05:23

Hw hard is it to make her a packed lunch??? a sandwich, fruit, yoghurt etc...5 mins max.

Uriel Wed 10-Sep-08 10:05:33

I'd do it so it was right for dd1. Lunchtime can be a very long time if you're not sitting with a friend.

It may mess up her time in the playground too, as sandwich kids and school meal kids can eat at slightly different times.

Cappuccino Wed 10-Sep-08 10:09:07

hmm, yes, you are all very good

however this friendship means more to her than it does to the friend iyswim

and look, sarnies are a faff. I have worked out a system where I only have to make them 3 days of the week. I like that system.

it makes me happy

I will however ask her about Friend's days and see if she can swop

cupsoftea Wed 10-Sep-08 10:09:12

hana - it's useful to remind kids that they also run the show & don't have to follow requests.

n5rje Wed 10-Sep-08 10:10:07

At my DSs school they have just changed from mixing up dinners ans sandwiches on the tables to having dinners on one side of the hall and sandwiches on the other and my first thought was what a bad idea as its bound to lead to children wanting to eat whatever their friends have on a particular day. I don't know what the reason for the change is (new head teacher) and luckily it hasn't caused a problem for me yet but I suspect it will in the future. For many reasons, cost being a big one, my DSs all have packed lunches and I certainly don't want to have arguements about it because the seating has been changed. Good luck with you DD cappuccino.

Dropdeadfred Wed 10-Sep-08 10:10:26

really? you would have her miss out so you don't have to make her a sandwich ?? shock

frankbestfriend Wed 10-Sep-08 10:11:06

I would let her have lunches with her friend. The social aspect of school is so important and it is awful to sit on your own in the dinner hall.
Is it really that much hassle to make a packed lunch on the days she chooses?

Sorry, but I think YABU.

Cappuccino Wed 10-Sep-08 10:11:19

she can't make her own sarnies; she has cerebral palsy, so it would take about twice as long for me to help her to make them as it would for me to do them myself

and I know at some point I have to do this but not now

I have to fit in physio in the morning routine as well

we are like tightly wound springs in the Coffee House in the mornings

Uriel Wed 10-Sep-08 10:11:51

Can you make them the night before?

Cappuccino Wed 10-Sep-08 10:12:23

she's not sitting on her own

she has another friend - who likes her more than School Dinner friend, though she is obsessed with School Dinner friend - who takes sandwiches

frankbestfriend Wed 10-Sep-08 10:13:18

Also, I think it is a bit much to ask another parent to change so you don't have to make sandwiches. It only takes 5 minutes surely?

hana Wed 10-Sep-08 10:13:33

cups of tea - I don't understand?

cupsoftea Wed 10-Sep-08 10:15:55

When my kids come home with something like this I'd want them to know they could also equally request their friends change to suit them - or find a middle ground.

Dropdeadfred Wed 10-Sep-08 10:16:18

I really think this is one of those little things that is easy enough to do and would give your daughter pleasure - why not do it?

frankbestfriend Wed 10-Sep-08 10:16:48

Agree with Uriel. Make them the night before. I thought that's what everyone did anyway.
I would say, pick your battles, and this is an issue that is not worth making a huge stand about.

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