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to not want a 20 year old really immature girl to look after Ds while I'm at work.

(24 Posts)
BabbaMamma Mon 08-Sep-08 19:23:59

I've just started back, and she's a member of DPs family. She wants to look after my 16 week old DS once a week for 4 hours, but this means her and her skanky immature mates.

She's very, very young for her age and although she seems to look after everybody elses kids she hasn't got her own. She's usually good with them over all but I've seen her teaching swearwords to a 12 month old and feeding him chocolate until he was sick. Obviously now he swears like a trooper and is very naughty and quite fat in all honesty.

DPs family will HATE me if I say no, and DP said he trusts her and doesn't want me kicking up a fuss. And I know I'm being a little PFB, but I'm worried she'll not look after him properly. And her friends are DREADFUL girls who drink all day long and sleep around and swear like mad, and they've never looked after babies and they all (well 3 of them) have a really big thing for my DP and really don't like me much at all (well 1 more than the others).

BabbaMamma Mon 08-Sep-08 19:25:15

Also, they have bad reputations and are always fighting which freaks me out as I don't want DS getting caught up in it all.

tiggerlovestobounce Mon 08-Sep-08 19:26:07

From what you have said I dont think I would want my child in that arrangement either.

Whizzz Mon 08-Sep-08 19:26:43

shock family member or not I could not entrust my child to someone with that attitude/friends!

giraffescantdancethetango Mon 08-Sep-08 19:27:01


BabbaMamma Mon 08-Sep-08 19:27:21

Thank God I'm not alone. He's my pride and joy and the thought of someone not looking after him properly really freaks me out.

S1ur Mon 08-Sep-08 19:27:42

Your child, your choice.

Find an excuse. Like his childcare/nursery/minder has to have full-time or full days or somehitng.

Hard enough going back to work without streesing about who you left in charge.

naturalblonde Mon 08-Sep-08 19:27:47

Your child, your choice. But as he's your DP's son too, could you maybe speak to this girl, tell her absolutely no mates over, andleave a huge list of instructions that she's got to stick to.

preggersplayspop Mon 08-Sep-08 19:28:20

I agree with Tigger, its your child and if you don't feel comfortable with this (and I definitely wouldn't, given the situation you have described) then you shouldn't do it.

Its stressful enough going back to work without worrying that your baby may not be being well cared for.

TurkeyLurkey Mon 08-Sep-08 19:28:37

Has this girl any redeeming features? No, I don't think you ABU and can't imagine there will be many people here telling you you are.

Mamazon Mon 08-Sep-08 19:29:35

If he will be genrally well cared for then allow her to babysit but setting a few ground rules. Ok the arrangment on a temporary basis until she can prove to you that she can be responsible enough to care for him full time.

First off at 16 weeks he shouldn't be given anything but milk.
I assume she would be babysitting at your home so no friends are allowed in. and she is not to take him out to meet friends.
the swearing isn't really an issue just yet but if all goes well then when it comes to that stage you can warn her that as you dont swear in front of him, if he repeats anything you will assume it came from her and that will be the end fo it.

noonki Mon 08-Sep-08 19:30:31

not a chance in hell would she get her hands on my kids

nickytwotimes Mon 08-Sep-08 19:30:57

No way would I want her to look after my child. You are not being pfb-ish at all.

clam Mon 08-Sep-08 19:35:16

Tell DP it's Not Happening. End of.

Janni Mon 08-Sep-08 19:51:46

YANBU and you need to stand your ground on this.

hollyandnoah Mon 08-Sep-08 20:09:00

No chance. your child, your rules. Don't do anything that will make you uneasy. She sounds like my sil hmm

bloomingfedup Mon 08-Sep-08 20:09:29

yanbu.No, no, no - Do not let anybody you are ohappy with look after your child. Sod DP's family - your baby-your choice!

bluewolf Mon 08-Sep-08 20:11:26

sounds like trouble - I say no. As for people being offended...dunno. Cook up some excuse like 'he doesn't like you, sorry'

babbi Mon 08-Sep-08 21:03:31

YANBU no way would I leave my child in that setting

NotDoingTheHousework Mon 08-Sep-08 21:06:00

Message withdrawn

stitch Mon 08-Sep-08 21:09:32

i would never leave a 16 week old with anyone, unless a trained nanny, childminder, qualified professional, or a mom with lots of kids of her own, and whom i liked.
skanky teens never. not even to babysit ten year old.

BabbaMamma Mon 08-Sep-08 21:16:59

Thank God you all agree. I'm off to show this to DP though I think he's decided himself that she's not to mind him. We're applying for a childcare grant whilst I study and work (it's only a few hours a week mind) and my mum and DPs mum will mind baby 3 hours a week each. DP said it's not fair to send me off to work while I worry myself sick.

Now we have to break the news to the stroppy mare hmm

Lovesdogsandcats Tue 09-Sep-08 12:28:39

so this other child she fed chocolate to, is fat because of that? hmm

justaboutagrownup Tue 09-Sep-08 12:31:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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