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to think that this mother is taking the mick?

(15 Posts)
Olihan Sat 06-Sep-08 19:45:39

I had ds1's best friend (X) here this afternoon while his parents went to a child free family party. Both boys were at the same b'day party this morning so we brought X home with us at 1pm after the party and his mum was supposed to pick him up at 6:30.

I spoke to her this morning and she asked if 6:30 was still okay, I said it was and that my dcs usually went to bed at 7pm.

I've had X in the past for tea a couple of times and she's been late picking him up so I guessed she probably would be this time too, hence the comment about 7pm bed time.

She eventually turned up at 7:20 angry. Her excuse/reason was that she'd been to collect her ds1 from the friend he'd been with and they'd persuaded her to stay for a glass of wine (apparently these people had their parents there whom X's mum knows and she hasn't seen them for ages so she felt she should hmm).

Now I feel that she is taking advantage and she should have either said no, because she had to get X, or she should have sent her dh to collect X as he was driving anyway.

Needless to say, I was too much a wimp to say anything to her but I'm quietly fuming at her inconsideration.

AIBU and what should I have done/said when she eventually turned up?

MatNanPlus Sat 06-Sep-08 19:48:22

Not much you can say except i would call her an hour then 30 minutes before collection time next time,,,she may get the message!

littlemissbossy Sat 06-Sep-08 19:49:31

How old are the children?

elliephant Sat 06-Sep-08 19:51:38

She knows she's later than you expected hence her explaination/excuse as to why she's late. However at the end of the day its only twenty mins on a non school night, hardly worth the fall out. Also means that should / when she returns the favour you have a little bit of flexibility on your collection time. So chill and be the bigger person.

bloomingfedup Sat 06-Sep-08 19:51:39

You can either accept situation, don't have the child around again or say She is taking the piss.

Olihan Sat 06-Sep-08 19:51:42

Ah yes, should have said. They're both 4.8 and have just started in Reception so ds1, in particular is shattered. X was sat on the sofa looking half asleep at 7.

Olihan Sat 06-Sep-08 19:52:49

Ellie, it was 40 mins. She said she'd pick him up at 6:30 and arrived at 7:20. If it was only 20 mins I wouldn't be bothered.

Olihan Sat 06-Sep-08 19:54:13

Hang on, I'm so wound up my maths is going to pot blush. She was 50 minutes late.

littlemissbossy Sat 06-Sep-08 19:56:08

Yes she's taken the piss ... probably knew she could get away with it. Don't worry about, it's Saturday. Make sure she repays the favour and be late!!!

hatwoman Sat 06-Sep-08 20:01:29

she's taking the piss. turning up on time to pick up kids is, in my book, very important. it's common courtesy - even if there's no apparent reasons. if you say you'll pick up at 6 you do. I'd say 10 minutes late is a reasonable margin of error. maybe 15 on a generous day but any more it taking the piss. if you're leaving them with good friends - as opposed to the parents' of your dc's friends - then it's a bit different. but even then I;d phone to see if it was ok.

next time you need to give a reason for your timing - when you discuss pick up don;t just say "oh about 6" say "ds really needs some wind down time before bed so can you come before 6." if she's still late then you have probably have to accept that she's inconsiderate and you'll never change her and you have to decide whether it's worth carrying on having her dc. which is a horrible situation to be in given that he's your ds's friend.

Starbear Sat 06-Sep-08 20:05:58

Make sure she repays the favour with babysitting and you go out and have some fun. Then 50mins here or there doesn't matter. My mate's daughter, baby sat my boy on the Saturday night (for money) then dog sat for us on Sunday,part of Sunday & all night (not for money) because another friend had not picked up their dog for two daysangry after two week holiday!We had booked a hotel in Sussex and were going to a christening in which we were god parents. Now the friend with the dog is in the dog house with us and Daughter of friends can now ask any favour she likes of us.

elliephant Sat 06-Sep-08 20:11:01

Ah sorry my maths out as well. 50 mins is a bit late when they're so little, esp since you already stated an acceptable time, and you did go on to say its a regular thing. I understand why you're annoyed.

tigermoth Sat 06-Sep-08 20:11:34

She is obviously a casual timekeeper when it comes to playdates and I think this will go down badly with other parents if she continues to do this. Perhaps she is just unaware.

IME over the last 8 or so years we have had playdates, parents are always on time give or take 15 minutes and will phone if they are running late. I am generally not good at being punctual, but always make an effort for playdate pickups. And as you had said the children's bedtime was at 7.00 pm, your friend should have taken the hint.

She somehow needs to be told that she must be more punctual or she will get parents' backs up. I can understand why you are cross.

Does she give you her mobile phone number? TBH I'd have phoned her if she'd been more than half an hour late, just to check she was ok. You could have said the children seem tired and her ds seems ready to be taken home.

jimmyjammys Sat 06-Sep-08 21:35:25

If the delay was unavoidable then it would be ok but she was late because she wanted to have a glass of wine and socialise so she is def taking the piss, you had already looked after X for a considerable amount of time as a favour to her so she should have shown you more consideration.

Olihan Sun 07-Sep-08 11:22:18

Glad it's not just me. I'm a bit calmer now but still annoyed that she's taking advantage of me. I think next time she asks I'll be unavailable or only able to have him for a couple of hours.

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