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to be slightly annoyed that ds ruined my playdate

(14 Posts)
KleineMaus Thu 04-Sep-08 21:47:50

I'm not annoyed with ds, just a bit disappointed it didn't go better. Just moved to a new village where I know noone. Went to mother and toddler group and was really pleased to meet a mum I liked, and who, even better, appeared to like me as she invited us over for lunch today. It was going well, until ds woke up! He was very grumpy at waking up in a strange place, understandably, and cried for a while, and wouldn't eat any of her nice food. He cheered up a bit later, and although he didn't exactly play with her little boy, I hadn't expected him to as he's only 2 and they don't really play together at this age, do they. He's a bit oversensitive and sometimes got upset if the other little boy got too close. At one point he seemed to want to leave, but then when we did go to leave he threw a major tantrum, clinging to the door and screaming. I'm worried we won't be asked back. Maybe I should give the other mum more credit, she has kids, she knows what it's like. I will of course invite her over to my, much smaller and shabbier(!), house. And if she doesn't invite me back to hers I'll never know if it's because of ds or because she doesn't like me that much. I sound paranoid I know, but I'm keen to make friends, and I like her. God, it's worse than school...

MinkyBorage Thu 04-Sep-08 21:49:50

lol at 'my playdate'!!!
She'll understand, just invite her back, and it will be fine.
YABU though, and you know it!! smile

Thankyouandgoodnight Thu 04-Sep-08 21:52:40

Oh don't worry - just invite her back and do something that's at a good time for your DS to give you both a chance of having a lovely relaxed time (you and her I mean) - i.e. not timed with him being knackered or just waking up!! Either way - if she doesn't understand, then she's probably not the right playdate mate for you anyway!!

squeaver Thu 04-Sep-08 21:53:05

Don't stress. She'll have been through it herself. Everyone has. Next time you see her, laugh about it. Or don't mention it. She'll have probably forgotten about it.

I thought "my playdate" was hilarious too.

Overmydeadbody Thu 04-Sep-08 21:54:26

She has kids, so she probably didn't even notice your DS's bahaviour. Sounds like he just acted like a normal 2 yr old anyway, I wouldn't worry tbh!smile

tiggerlovestobounce Thu 04-Sep-08 21:57:07

I dont think that she would mind this. If she has children then she will know what they are like.
When ever I see other peoples children having a tantrum or misbehaving I'm always just glad that other peoples children misbehave too. grin

KleineMaus Thu 04-Sep-08 22:32:22

I know IMBU, minky, just couldn't think of where else to mutter about it...

blackrock Thu 04-Sep-08 22:44:15

My DS is two, I had a coffee/play afternoon with people i work with and know only a little. DS shouted 'go home' from the minute i got there, cried and tried to get out the front door. He played with none of the other children (all having a lovely time together), and after an hour we left, embarrassed. We have been invited back and i put the unsuccessful visit down to too much time indoors and DS misunderstanding where we were going. I think it is just a part of being two...try again and don't worry too much about it wink

onthepier Thu 04-Sep-08 23:24:35

I remember a terrible afternoon at my friend's house when my dd was 5!blush We'd been invited round there on a Friday after school, (prob not the best time as my daughter had only just started + was always tired by the end of the week).

Anyway, my friend's dd, same age, had been excited about us coming + had made a tray of cakes with her mum's help. Of course my dd didn't want one which upset her friend.

Then they did start playing, skidding around the polished wooden floors, (my daughter in her school tights). Of course she slipped + banged her head. I said she could only play like that if she took her tights off, (less slippery). She was shouting "No, no, no!" but still sliding. Anyway, I took her tights off under her dress + said she could carry on playing, (her friend had bare feet). This resulted in a screaming tantrum, waking her 1 year old brother up who I'd had asleep in the buggy next to us.

My friend's dh, (working in his office) came down to see what all the fuss was about, their dd burst into tears as she'd been looking forward to seeing my dd so much, + with my then screaming 1 yr old I left rather hurriedly apologising that I'd completely disrupted their afternoon!

We're all still very good friends to this day, nearly 5 years on but I still think back to that + cringe, I think I got home + burst into tears!!

With even the best planning playdates can be fraught!

Janni Thu 04-Sep-08 23:40:07

This brings back memories of how I felt when DS1 was unexpectedly invited to the birthday party of a little girl whose parents I really liked and wanted to be friends with. He was only about 6 (he's 12 now) and he cried over every game, over every bit of food, over everything basically. I remember being really mean to him on the walk home because I was so upset and embarrassed.

Needless to say it was soon forgotten, they became friends, he learnt how to deal with parties and there was a happy ending all round.

Do make the next move and don't let it put you off trying again.

pollyblue Fri 05-Sep-08 15:14:58

The first time a fairly new friend came here for a cuppa one afternoon (her ds and my dd and the same age, 16 months then) my dd went into a complete meltdown when I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. She was going through a bit of a clingy phase at the time and obv didn't like this strange woman being alone with her! I was mortified, esp as her ds happily pottered about playing while dd threw herself on the floor and went into a full-blown snotty, screaming paddy.

Give her a ring! All little 'uns have the ab dabs from time to time, maybe next time you get together hers will blow a fuse smile.

Milkysallgone Fri 05-Sep-08 17:18:27

I know how frustrating and embarrasing it can feel ( I've had a recent move to a new village too), especially when you need to make new friends. I'm sure that unless this woman is a bit strange, she won't have been phased by your ds's strop one little bit.

Like another poster said - it's usually a bit of a relief when other people's dcs aren't behaving perfectly!

Twiglett Fri 05-Sep-08 17:20:47

bless you

if she already has other kids, she really likes to invite you over for lunch ..

do not worry everybody knows about 2 year olds

yes invite her to yours .. definitely

I agree that it is YOUR playdate more than the children .. they are incidental grin

Nagapie Fri 05-Sep-08 17:22:47

Or better still, when you invite the mummy and her DD over for tea, and your DD asks loudly and constantly when theare going y home ... blush or when she says she is too busy to play with the other little girl in earshot of the mum ...

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