To want MIL to lock the dog in the kitchen when she visits (dog lovers, it isn't what you think!)

[ChirpyGirl]

PIL's are visiting with their lapdog, it's a toy breed (that doesn't shed, thank god)who is not trained and has always been a bit yappy. (and HATES me!)
She is very old and incontinent. Last time they were here she weed on my carpet at least once a day. Downstairs is 2 rooms, living/dining/playroom all open plan and ktichen, which has gate to lock children out.
They have been here 3 days, I have been at work for 2 of those days and they don't stay overnight here, and yet, in the small time I have been in teh house with them the dog has weed on kitchen floor twice, carpet in living room twice and I came home to poo on the carpet earlier.
DD1 is 2.7, DD2 is 11 months and very mobile. No-one spotted the poo until I pointed it out.

Now she is old, and is used to sitting on MIL's lap or climbing all over the sofa(on my sofa..which annoys me hugely, but no-one ever asked if it was okay years ago so can't say much now...) but I want to put a blanket or something in the kitchen and leave her in there locked behind the stairgate so if she does go on teh carpet I don't have to corral children to other end of room while someone clears it up.

Now, AIBU? Cos I know MIL won't want to do this, she will say that she is ill, or will miss her or sob sob whatever. DH is no help as he will just clean it up and think that's it, plus it is his dog too, so he makes the same excuses..she's old, it's not ehr fault...but why shoudl my children suffer, and my house smell so bad!

How can I best suggest this? Can't ban dog altogether as that means IL's don't come. They only visit for week at a time every month or so. Plus dog is not likely to last 6 more months so don't want to start massive fight but am LOSING MY MIND

Advice/help/comments welcome!

[hotbot]

as dh to take dog outside every 30 mins, he will soon get fed up and put dog in kitchen.
am a dog owner and dog lover btw but children and dogs dont mix esp. old and frail ones, for the dogs sake, give it some peace.

[milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo]

I am a dog lover (have 2!) but I don't think you are being unreasonable to ask her to put the dog in the kitchen - we use a babygate so the dogs can still see us if we have to confine the dogs anywhere.

[FabioFlangeCat]

I haven't read your post but yes, dogs should be shut out somewhere.



Have you seen the dog perform upon your flooring?
Can you be certain tisn't the PILs?

[GrabShellDude]

No YANBU (am doggie person btw)but you say "dog is not likely to last 6 more months" and as you have put up with it for years now I think it would be difficult to sort anything out.

Grit your teeth, don your rubber gloves and see out the next few months.

When they get a new dog (if they do) then start as you mean to go on.

[ChirpyGirl]

Lol at Fabio...is a very good point, the puddles/shit always appear when I am not looking! hmmm....
Dog does get let out every 30 minutes, still goes in the house. However, MIL is only one who can do this, no-one else can touch the dog without risking being sucked (would be bitten but her teeth are falling out...)
She has only done this a few times before in all the years I have known her, most memorably in front of the HV when DD1 was 10 days old as MIL couldn't bear to miss anything she said to me but it has got worse over last few months

MIL is v embarrased as DH has just told me as she has gone to pet shop on way back to where they are staying to buy cork up arse type medicine for her.

[kitsmummy]

I'd suggest they had the dog put down at this point in its life!

[ChirpyGirl]

Oh god kitsmummy, they would never speak to me again!

(although I do feel it would be best at the moment as dog is riddled with ill health, makes me feel a bit churlish for wanting to lock it in teh cold kitchen....)

[hotbot]

nappy?

[kitsmummy]

Tee hee, i wouldn't really have the nerve to suggest that, but I would however ask to house the dog in the kitchen and nowhere else. Your DCs give you the perfect excuse to insist on it imo. Look at it the other way, if you had a dog that did that would you ever ever take it to anyone's house and let it wee on their carpet??!!!

[ChirpyGirl]

Well my dog was trained properly. From as early as I could remember she did what she was told. All of my family's dogs did.
I used to enter my dog in Junior obedience events, I mean they were just fetch and stay type things but still, I don't know how to deal with dogs that have no training at all!
(apart from kcik it..which I freely admit I did the first (and only) time she snapped at my newborn DD...she never did it again though!

[ChirpyGirl]

Lol at nappy...I have some newbron ones floating around somewhere...

[LittleBella]

FFS your MIL should be locked in the bloody kitchen, how dare she take an incontinent dog to someone's house and expect them to put up with it? Would she have been happy for you to take her grandson to her house without a nappy?

Seriously, a nappy is not a mad suggestion, I know a couple of dogs who wore nappies towards the end (they had mad owners who refused to face up to the fact that their dogs were old and infirm and really wanted to give up on life).

[Drusilla]

I am more in shock at your ILs visiting for a week at a time every month or so! Good God, how do you cope?!!

[LittleBella]

Honestly, would you take a human being who pissed and shat all over the place to someone else's house? Of course you wouldn't! It is so out of order of your barking MIL to expect you to meekly allow your house to be fouled in this way.

Go and do a poo on her carpet and see how she likes it. I'm incensed by her on your behalf.

[ilovemydog]

say something like, I know it isn't the dogs fault andc wax lyrical about how lovely it is, how old it is etc, but can't really have DC stepping/walking/touching DD (darling dog's) accidents... am sure you understand... shall we look into getting a small cage for the dog while here or would staying in the kitchen suffice?

[expatinscotland]

old or not, that is just farking rude to bring your dog to someone's home, especially when they have small children, when you know it's going to pee and shit all over the place.

then don't even offer to clean up.

i would have no qualms about saying kitchen only for the dog because of the children.

if she has a problem, she can come back after the dog finally croaks.

[ChirpyGirl]

Ah, they don't sleep here, that is the life saver!

Am getting tense about tomorrow now as when they visit we pick MIL up at 10ish and go to park/shops whatever, but dog sometimes stays in teh car, my car, my lovely clean full of my stuff car.
Tomorrow we need to do supermarket run, she will be in car for about an hour. UNsupervised. If she shits in it I will not be held responsible.

[ChirpyGirl]

MIL does offer to clean up but is disabled in a way that makes it very hard for her to bend over and clean floor. She has done it and I got quite cross with her as she hurt herself.

(Why am I defending her...raaagh...must build up resolve to deal with this tomorrow!)

[LittleBella]

Honestly, just say she's not allowed to be in the car without a nappy.

It simply is not normal to allow your dog/ granny/ baby to shit and piss anywhere except in the loo/ potty/ nappy.

It really isn't.

Unless I am a mad militant about this and actually, everyone else does see it as a minor inconvenience rather than a problem that shouldn't even arise.

[expatinscotland]

I'm with LB. No, you're not being militant.

That's just plain old rude to bring the dog over when you know it's going to shite and pee around your young grandchildren and you can't clean it up.

[idontbelieveit]

I'm shocked by the fact they visit once a month, i'd go mental. The dog needs a nappy, if mil is too infirm to clean up after it what on earth happens to it's mess at her house? Get tough with her tomorrow and don't let it anywhere near your car!

[LazyLinePainterJane]

As an aside, they stay for a week??!! every month or so??!!!

You are mad

Are they going to pay for the cost of getting your carpet cleaned? Because it will stink.

YANBU>

[TheSmallClanger]

I will normally stand up for dog owners, but your MIL is not being fair to anyone. When I had dogs, they never visited people's houses unless specifically invited, and they were properly house trained as well.
Little dogs benefit from having a proper dog crate to hide out in during the day, and you should suggest, gently, that she gets one that she can transport/contain the wee yapper in. That way, he can stay close to her and not foul your home. You can even buy doggy toilet pads now, which will contain the wee and its smell and can be put inside the crate. As for the car, a crate is also recommended for travel and will keep the dog safe as well as clean.

I don't sell crates, BTW. They are the answer to many dog problems, though.