to put my son in nursery 2 days a week even though I'm a SAHM with only 1 child?

[frackit]

Decided to put DS (1.5) in nursery for 1 or 2 afternoons a week for the following reasons:

I don't have anyone to look after him should I need to go to the doctor/dentist/hairdresser etc etc as DH can't take time off work and I don't have family here or know anyone that could babysit. I could book appts on his nursery day/s.

So that he can do fun stuff like play with baked beans, flour and water, sand etc. and mix with other kids his age. I have found a really excellent nursery which is child centred and structured and extremely well regarded. I feel totally happy that he will be stimulated and encouraged in a happy and nurturing environment. He's a very active child and gets fed up unless we do lots of activities which means I don't have time to do other things (which is fine, up to now have said I'd rather he got what he needed that than stuff got done, but now I'm thinking there needs to a happy medium).

Although I a SAHM I am also supposed to be working on a long term project of my own and I just don't have the time or energy to devote to it, therefore it would help me to have time aside twice a week to at least get the thing rolling.

We are a very messy family and DH and I had just decided to get a cleaner. Normally my days are spent trying clean and tidy as I go along but it is just not working DS gets bored and frustrated and it is no fun for anyone. But what we need (at least 6 hours a week) would be quite £££.

So whats been coming to mind is DS going to nursery for 2 full days say from 9.30 -4.30 and me doing the housework in the morning and my own work in the afternoon.

But though DH says its a good idea and DS would enjoy it, I can't help thinking "FFS you're sending your kid to nursery so you can clean".

On the other hand I think I'm maybe being a bit overdramatic in that I am supposed to be working from home during the time he'd be at nursery so why is that any different from anyone else who needs childcare?

[mumblechum]

We-ell, we'll let you do it without calling you a lazy mare, on condition that we don't spot you here on your afternoons -ahem- "working from home"

[CrushWithEyeliner]

That's what I am doing from Jan with DD 2yo. For very similar reasons. Totally understandable and perfectly reasonable imo.

[CantSleepWontSleep]

Why do you need approval from us?

If you can afford to do it then of course it's fine.

[TheGreatScootini]

Its fine.Im though.

[MrsMattie]

My son goes 5 mornings a week and I'm a SAHM. He loves it. I get to do whatever needs doing / I want to do. Don't overthink it!

[butterflybessie]

Personally, I would do one day, enough for me and we have an incredibly untidy house.

1 day yes

2 days no

[babyinbelly]

I am doing the same. Cant always be bothered to entertain a 2yo so sending him to nursery to get out the house a bit more.

[Pinkjenny]

I'm too.

[Niecie]

Yes you are being alittle bit over dramatic.

You can afford and you have things you need to do. If DS is happy then why not? It isn't like you are sittng up home, feet up eating biscuits and watching daytime telly (although that is allowed for a bit of the time!)

Enjoy it!

[georgiemum]

He'll love it. Try it and see how you both go.

[BroccoliSpears]

God if we could afford it I would.

[frackit]

CantSleepWontSleep- need approval from mumsnetters because of self esteem issues, probably, if I'm honest. Also, feel like I'm pretending to be a grown up and worry that I haven't a clue.

butterflybessie - It would be 2 days because it's not just for housework it's for my own work. I'd space the days out, Monday and Thurs or Friday.

[AnnieLaurie]

Frackit, I went through exactly the same thing as you a year ago. Was going to put DS in nursery 2 mornings but when a place came up, the nursery said I had to take the 2 days or not at all.

Was really difficult decision, same as you, agonising and guilt trip about being a SAHM, but wanting a bit of time to do stuff for myself, and cleaning/supermarket etc!!

Well, I did it, thinking if my DS seemed to change in any way, or was unhappy then we would review it and take him out of nursery.

I have to say, has been the right thing definitely!! He loves it (still clings to me every day i drop him off though!!), i think it has been really good for his development, speech, learning to share etc etc and of course all the lovely sand/water/pasta shapes fun they do that I NEVER get round to myself.

Dont feel guilty. If you dont feel good about it then change it - see how it goes. You deserve some 'Me' time, if you can afford it go for it (and I would convince DH to get a cleaner too if you can stretch to it!!!)

Hope it works out for you.

[TheCrackFox]

Well, I for one am very jealous . I am a SAHM but I think that just a few generations ago women were surrounded by their family and all would be on hand to help. My Gran was one of 10 sister and they all lived within 5 streets of each other. She always had lovely hair and never had to drag miserable DCs around the shops.

[francagoestohollywood]

Not unreasonable. We did the same. And by the time ds was three he could speak Italian (our first language) and English.

[andiem]

thank god I am not the only one am having a big guilt trip as ds2 starts 2 mornings a week next week he is 14mths
he has been teary at the sessions he's done with me so far

but I feel that I really need some time to myself now

[Iklboo]

DS was with full time CM but we still sent him to playschool 3 mornings a week from April this year. He's come on massively socially and looks forward to going.
Go for it - he'll have loads to tell you about his day

[francagoestohollywood]

I actually have been made feeling guilty by others. I now have a 6 yrs who doesn't seem to have been traumatized for having been sent twice a week playing in a different environment.

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[taliac]

Lord yes go for it.

Mums need time to themselves occasionally to stop them going utterly potty IMO. And anyone who criticises either has issues or doesn't know what its like 24/7 with a small child.

You'll be a better mum for it.

[Shoegazer]

YANBU I send DD to nursery 2 mornings a week. One of those mornings I sleep as I work a night beforehand and the other morning I clean the house/make telephone calls/have a bit of time to myself. I will be increasing it to 3 mornings a week when she is 3 as I am starting an OU course. She loves nursery so much and I am a much happier mummy for having got some sleep/sorted out the house/bought myself a new top/had my hair done

[GColdtimer]

Completely agree, if you can afford it, do it. I mean, do you think all of us who work are always "working" when our DCs are in nursery. Not by the number of us that can be found on here of a morning or afternoon -

[SummatAnNowt]

ds was with a childminder 8-3:30 once or twice a week age 1-3.

I needed the break!

He's 4 now and I home educate, so much easier to do things with a kid around than a toddler.

[Janni]

It's absolutely fine as long as he's happy.