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to put my son in nursery 2 days a week even though I'm a SAHM with only 1 child?

(34 Posts)
frackit Thu 04-Sep-08 13:01:13

Decided to put DS (1.5) in nursery for 1 or 2 afternoons a week for the following reasons:

I don't have anyone to look after him should I need to go to the doctor/dentist/hairdresser etc etc as DH can't take time off work and I don't have family here or know anyone that could babysit. I could book appts on his nursery day/s.

So that he can do fun stuff like play with baked beans, flour and water, sand etc. and mix with other kids his age. I have found a really excellent nursery which is child centred and structured and extremely well regarded. I feel totally happy that he will be stimulated and encouraged in a happy and nurturing environment. He's a very active child and gets fed up unless we do lots of activities which means I don't have time to do other things (which is fine, up to now have said I'd rather he got what he needed that than stuff got done, but now I'm thinking there needs to a happy medium).

Although I a SAHM I am also supposed to be working on a long term project of my own and I just don't have the time or energy to devote to it, therefore it would help me to have time aside twice a week to at least get the thing rolling.

We are a very messy family and DH and I had just decided to get a cleaner. Normally my days are spent trying clean and tidy as I go along but it is just not working DS gets bored and frustrated and it is no fun for anyone. But what we need (at least 6 hours a week) would be quite £££.

So whats been coming to mind is DS going to nursery for 2 full days say from 9.30 -4.30 and me doing the housework in the morning and my own work in the afternoon.

But though DH says its a good idea and DS would enjoy it, I can't help thinking "FFS you're sending your kid to nursery so you can clean".

On the other hand I think I'm maybe being a bit overdramatic in that I am supposed to be working from home during the time he'd be at nursery so why is that any different from anyone else who needs childcare?

mumblechum Thu 04-Sep-08 13:03:28

We-ell, we'll let you do it without calling you a lazy mare, on condition that we don't spot you here on your afternoons -ahem- "working from home" grin

CrushWithEyeliner Thu 04-Sep-08 13:03:29

That's what I am doing from Jan with DD 2yo. For very similar reasons. Totally understandable and perfectly reasonable imo. smile

RubyRioja Thu 04-Sep-08 13:05:29

I think it is fine. He gets to socialise, you get a bit of space. Fairly expensive I would guess though. I think consistent 24/7 is not always good for mum or baby

CantSleepWontSleep Thu 04-Sep-08 13:06:10

Why do you need approval from us?

If you can afford to do it then of course it's fine.

TheGreatScootini Thu 04-Sep-08 13:06:48

Its fine.Im envy though. smile

MrsMattie Thu 04-Sep-08 13:06:50

My son goes 5 mornings a week and I'm a SAHM. He loves it. I get to do whatever needs doing / I want to do. Don't overthink it!

butterflybessie Thu 04-Sep-08 13:07:10

Personally, I would do one day, enough for me and we have an incredibly untidy houseblush.

1 day yes

2 days no

grin

babyinbelly Thu 04-Sep-08 13:07:45

I am doing the same. Cant always be bothered to entertain a 2yo so sending him to nursery to get out the house a bit more.

Pinkjenny Thu 04-Sep-08 13:09:21

I'm envy too.

<PJ looks at own straw-like hair and wishes she had time to go to the hairdressers>

Niecie Thu 04-Sep-08 13:10:28

Yes you are being alittle bit over dramatic.smile

You can afford and you have things you need to do. If DS is happy then why not? It isn't like you are sittng up home, feet up eating biscuits and watching daytime telly (although that is allowed for a bit of the time!)

Enjoy it!

georgiemum Thu 04-Sep-08 13:10:40

He'll love it. Try it and see how you both go.

BroccoliSpears Thu 04-Sep-08 13:11:56

God if we could afford it I would.

<hasn't had a hair appointment, dentist appointment or a poo in private for years>

frackit Thu 04-Sep-08 13:12:08

CantSleepWontSleep- need approval from mumsnetters because of self esteem issues, probably, if I'm honest. Also, feel like I'm pretending to be a grown up and worry that I haven't a clue.

butterflybessie - It would be 2 days because it's not just for housework it's for my own work. I'd space the days out, Monday and Thurs or Friday.

AnnieLaurie Thu 04-Sep-08 13:12:28

Frackit, I went through exactly the same thing as you a year ago. Was going to put DS in nursery 2 mornings but when a place came up, the nursery said I had to take the 2 days or not at all.

Was really difficult decision, same as you, agonising and guilt trip about being a SAHM, but wanting a bit of time to do stuff for myself, and cleaning/supermarket etc!!

Well, I did it, thinking if my DS seemed to change in any way, or was unhappy then we would review it and take him out of nursery.

I have to say, has been the right thing definitely!! He loves it (still clings to me every day i drop him off though!!), i think it has been really good for his development, speech, learning to share etc etc and of course all the lovely sand/water/pasta shapes fun they do that I NEVER get round to myself.

Dont feel guilty. If you dont feel good about it then change it - see how it goes. You deserve some 'Me' time, if you can afford it go for it (and I would convince DH to get a cleaner too if you can stretch to it!!!)

Hope it works out for you.

TheCrackFox Thu 04-Sep-08 13:14:32

Well, I for one am very jealous envy. I am a SAHM but I think that just a few generations ago women were surrounded by their family and all would be on hand to help. My Gran was one of 10 sister and they all lived within 5 streets of each other. She always had lovely hair and never had to drag miserable DCs around the shops.

francagoestohollywood Thu 04-Sep-08 13:17:11

Not unreasonable. We did the same. And by the time ds was three he could speak Italian (our first language) and English.

andiem Thu 04-Sep-08 13:21:59

thank god I am not the only one am having a big guilt trip as ds2 starts 2 mornings a week next week he is 14mths
he has been teary at the sessions he's done with me so far

but I feel that I really need some time to myself now

Iklboo Thu 04-Sep-08 13:26:17

DS was with full time CM but we still sent him to playschool 3 mornings a week from April this year. He's come on massively socially and looks forward to going.
Go for it - he'll have loads to tell you about his day

francagoestohollywood Thu 04-Sep-08 13:27:32

I actually have been made feeling guilty by others. I now have a 6 yrs who doesn't seem to have been traumatized for having been sent twice a week playing in a different environment.

Dior Thu 04-Sep-08 13:29:02

Message withdrawn

taliac Thu 04-Sep-08 13:31:42

Lord yes go for it.

Mums need time to themselves occasionally to stop them going utterly potty IMO. And anyone who criticises either has issues or doesn't know what its like 24/7 with a small child.

You'll be a better mum for it.

Shoegazer Thu 04-Sep-08 13:34:51

YANBU I send DD to nursery 2 mornings a week. One of those mornings I sleep as I work a night beforehand and the other morning I clean the house/make telephone calls/have a bit of time to myself. I will be increasing it to 3 mornings a week when she is 3 as I am starting an OU course. She loves nursery so much and I am a much happier mummy for having got some sleep/sorted out the house/bought myself a new top/had my hair done wink

twofalls Thu 04-Sep-08 13:35:47

Completely agree, if you can afford it, do it. I mean, do you think all of us who work are always "working" when our DCs are in nursery. Not by the number of us that can be found on here of a morning or afternoon - grin

SummatAnNowt Thu 04-Sep-08 13:36:30

ds was with a childminder 8-3:30 once or twice a week age 1-3.

I needed the break!

He's 4 now and I home educate, so much easier to do things with a kid around than a toddler.

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