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to be annoyed at my friend saying im no good with kids

(34 Posts)
NattyThomasAndEllen Wed 03-Sep-08 23:40:49

my friend just told me that i am no good with kids,
she says i dont talk to her kids properly, like little people. i talk to them like babies.
but im sorry, i have 2 children that dont speak. speaking to kids all day about school and television programmes, i am not used to, because DS is so delayed$ (he is autistic) i just dont have any experiance of it.
she says she is suprised that i want to work with disabled children, and that i want lots of kids of my own. she said i dont seem like i can get on with kids.
AIBU to be throughly pissed off at this?

Kelix Wed 03-Sep-08 23:43:48

sure she is a friend?

lisad123 Wed 03-Sep-08 23:44:12

tell her to go jump and get some new friends wink

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 03-Sep-08 23:46:06

Hmm she wasn't doing that 'oh if you only spoke more appropriately then your child would talk" thing was she that people like to do? angry

She doesn't sound much of a friend tbh.

Your ds looks little. (Is he 2?). I used to get blamed for my ds1 not talking when he was 2. Now he's 9 and still not talking, and I have two other children (aged 6 and 3) chattering away from dawn to dusk those friends people have crawled back into whichever hole they first appeared from.

Is she a good friend? I think you could do better tbh. She sounds really unhelpful/unsupportive.

FabioFlangeCat Wed 03-Sep-08 23:46:18

bite her arse

ScottishMummy Wed 03-Sep-08 23:47:21

regardless of what she thinks,what are your career choices,what feedback have you been given

you need to match your aptitudes and skills to your carreer an if she doesn't agree maybe ByeBye

solidgoldbrass Wed 03-Sep-08 23:49:25

Oh tell her to cock off. Whatever the rights and wrongs of it, she's not your boss, she's not your teacher, she's not giving you a workplace performance appraisal. There is no justification for her telling you unkind and unpleasant things.

NattyThomasAndEllen Wed 03-Sep-08 23:51:16

jimjam. thomas is 2 1/2, speaks in words that are indistinqisable (sp?) to anyone else except me. he is being referred to it, and i have a 15 month old thats speaking already, in clear words.
it really is nothing to do with how i talk to him, i cant believe ppl would blame me although we already know he is special needs.
arrgg angry

LackaDAISYcal Wed 03-Sep-08 23:53:47

You know what I think already natty.

You do a great job with your kids and are helping T to communicate better through the signing. Tell her, as solidgoldbrass so eloquently put it, to cock off!

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 03-Sep-08 23:55:45

Oh I know, but I was on the receiving end of it (the same person- ds1's nursery manager - when he was 2 told me that I must be talking over him, followed immediately by I must be ignoring him and not talking to him enough) angry

Looking back it used to happen a lot when he was little "have you thought about...." "it's because you do everything for him..." "just refuse to give him something until he says the word". Hmm 7 years later we'd still be waiting!

This was all when ds1 was referred. It carried on really until he got to about 4 when the other people began to shut up.

SmugColditz Wed 03-Sep-08 23:58:44

People whose kids talk early don't know the pain of a child who doesn't seem to be getting it. My 5 year old is still unclear sometimes, and at 2 was silent.

The HV told me to "Just talk to him, and look at books"

As if I was locking him in a God damned cupboard all day[grr]

SmugColditz Thu 04-Sep-08 00:03:23

LO)L yes "Do you wait for him to answer you?" "Do you respond when he speaks?" - HE DOESN'T SPEAK YOU FREAKING CRETIN.

"Make him say the word before you give him it" - he couldn't say the word, he had never say ANY words, and he wouldn't sustain an interest in anything long enough to get upset about not having it. He would just walk off.

It's ignorance that makes people say such idiotic things.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Thu 04-Sep-08 00:08:18

Or my favourite "that's because someone said no to him for the first time" (after a totally predictable tantrum that I had told said person would happen if a routine wasn't followed).

People can be so ignorant when they're little. When they're big too, but particularly when they're little. The nice thing is you emerge a few years later with the friends who are worth having.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 04-Sep-08 00:11:52

Tell your friend she's no good with grown-ups.

oops Thu 04-Sep-08 00:14:00

Message withdrawn

NattyThomasAndEllen Thu 04-Sep-08 00:17:37

thank you for ur support. i feel less worried about it. was beginig to blame myself for his speech problems

NattyThomasAndEllen Thu 04-Sep-08 00:17:39

thank you for ur support. i feel less worried about it. was beginig to blame myself for his speech problems

MrsJohnCusack Thu 04-Sep-08 00:29:47

oh FFS the rude bint

perhaps point out to her that she is no good with people, full stop, if she thinks that is a constructive way to talk to someone, particularly a friend!

am feeling very cross for you

lowrib Thu 04-Sep-08 00:36:00

"Tell your friend she's no good with grown-ups." grin

lowrib Thu 04-Sep-08 00:36:53

Spot on BEAUTlFUL smile

Shells Thu 04-Sep-08 02:09:12

Gotta dump 'friends' like this. No good for your self esteem.

AccipeHoc Fri 05-Sep-08 19:35:56

How would she know? Your son is autistic, you know what you're going to be taking on working with children with special needs, htat is invaluable.

My son has delayed speech (if it ever arrives that is!) and maybe a mild ASD, and I DO have to treat him a little differently to my other children.

You know yourself, do you enjoy being with children? Do they respond well to you?

Never mind what she says. Agree with the no good with grownups comment!

AccipeHoc Fri 05-Sep-08 19:39:51

Jimjam, I just read your post, and I get SO much of that nonsense. "If you didn't give him what he wanted he'd have to talk!"

Ha, he would starve before he would say "food". He'd point, 'eh' stand near the cupboard, stamp his feet if I didn't get him what he wanted. I've been on the Hanen course, doing sign language, everything else I can do, but they have the answers if only I would just listen and believe them!!

I've also had the shitty helpful comment thrown at me "maybe it's because you left his Dad that he can't talk, the trauma you know?".

Well he was oblivious to it, and I don't think it would have brought on an ASD!

People are so thick some times.

noonki Fri 05-Sep-08 19:58:55

Nattythomas - your friend is an idiot

given the situation of your son you probably are speaking really distincting to your kids, this is known to be really good way at helping kids speak and you are doing it naturally because you are a good with children

beautiful has is right - your 'friend' is no friend and I would avoid her

PinkTulips Fri 05-Sep-08 20:04:57

i have the opposite problem, i can't do kid talk..... children look at me like i'm a total loon when i talk to them like adults whereas the women who baby talk seem to have kids swarming to them. you can't win!

she sounds like a total cow though, no friend would say things like that to you.

get her out of your life and be glad you found out what a cow she was. if she says things like that to you face imagine what she says behind your back?

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