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to think my sister is a right twat?

(6 Posts)
YellowBellyNameChanger Wed 03-Sep-08 21:59:38

So my sister had a big redundancy payment a year or two ago. Almost from the day she got it she stopped returning my calls and I only really heard what she was up to via my parents. I believe the reason for this to be that over the years I had lent/given her quite a bit of money - probably up to about £2k. I never asked for it back, just didn't really think about it. I was earning well so it wasn't really an issue. I know she stopped contacting me because she was scared she might have to give me some money back (she is incredibly money oriented).

Anyway got a call from her a couple of weeks ago. We had a good chat and then as I felt things were getting back to normal between us I told her that one of my dc is currently being assessed for ASD and how worrying it had all been. She asked a couple of questions about it and then moved the subject on to her current money woes, telling me how they are going only able to go on a weeks holiday in the UK this year because they have got through all the redundancy money and they are probably going to have to declare themselves bankrupt. On speaking to my Mum the next day it turns out that the only reason they went on a week's UK holiday is because they are saving up for a 3 week trip to Hawaii later in the year and are currently working out a plan to pay off the mortgage over the next two years and move to a much bigger house.

Fine. I don't give two hoots about her finances but what really pisses me off is that I told her about my son's ASD - something huge that me and my family are going through and her very first instinct was still to protect her money at all costs. So AIBU? I don't actually think that I am but am interested in what others might think.

hester Wed 03-Sep-08 22:03:01

Well, on what you have told us, yes your sister is a twat. But bear in mind that people are often embarrassed by bad news and want to move on quickly; it doesn't mean she doesn't care about your son.

I'm not surprised you're hurt, though.

TheSmallClanger Wed 03-Sep-08 22:21:57

The money and your bad news are separate issues. She might well not know what ASD really is, or be embarrassed and not know what to say. It's often hard to find the right words.

YA absolutely NBU about the money though. She is being very cheeky by going on at you about not being able to afford more than a week's holiday while she still owes you money.

YellowBellyNameChanger Wed 03-Sep-08 22:32:24

I know they are separate issues. The money is long gone and does not bother me. What bothers me is that her first thought on me telling her was still to protect her money. Honestly I know it is hard to believe but that is what she is like about money it completely rules her.

She knows what ASD is because I told her my worries more than a year ago and she had just watched a programme about it and apparently suspected that ds might have it. If your sibling told you that about your nephew would your money and fear of paying an old debt to them be the first thing on your mind?

Thanks for your reply though. I do appreciate some outside input. Hard to see things clearly sometimes.

cargirl Wed 03-Sep-08 22:35:04

Perhaps you should be blunt with her and tell her that you don't expect to get the £2k back from her so she can stop worrying about it.

YellowBellyNameChanger Wed 03-Sep-08 22:38:39

Suppose so, but I can't be arsed with all the denials, tears and "hurt" that I could ever think that of her - blah, blah, blah. I told my Mum anyway and am pretty sure she would have passed it on.

I thought it was quite funny tbh before I told her about ds. Just her reaction to that really pissed me off.

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