my ex and i generally have a very amicable 'relationship'......we have somewhat unconventional shared care of ds in that i have him over the weekend (fri-mon) because ex works away at weekends. It has been going smoothly,and we are flexible about deviations from this (holidays etc).....
before the summer ex was mithering about potty training ds (who is now 3) and i wanted to hold fire because i didn't think he was quite ready. It transpired that he wanted him out of nappies so he could get him into the local nursery.....i had 'words' with him about how underhanded i felt it was. We discussed sending ds to nursery/school and agreed to (after previously being determined to home school)......but i told ex that we both needed to look round the nursery together (it is in the small town where ex lives)....he agreed, we decided to broach the subject this Sept.
Today i have dropped ds back at his dad's and he produced the nursery forms (which had been dropped into ex mil's by the nursery owner) and asked if their was anything i objected to. Then he said his parents were going to take ds to look round next week, he can't do it he is at work. i politely pointed out that it was our duty to do this together.....he seemed genuinely shocked that i was upset about it saying he didn't mean to sideline me, he wasn't going behind my back....he just thought it would save me travelling (i live an hour away)......i can't decide now if he is deliberately trying to make decisions hoping i'll find out too late or if he really is just a thoughtless sod. After 14 years together i would have said the latter, and am trying not to colour the way i view him with how he dealt with our break up.
i'm sorry this is so longwinded, but i am a mixture of angry, sad and confused about all of this.
Is it so unreasonable to expect him to talk to me and include me in important decisions about our son?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to be annoyed that my ex was making nursery arrangements without including me?
3 replies
queenrollo · 03/09/2008 19:20
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.