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To bit a bit peeved about dh going out on saturday?

(39 Posts)
mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:26:58

I have a feeling I might be ABU but friend says ANBU.

I graduate on FRiday from Uni, having a few drinks with friends in our uni club then home.
I had asked dh to plan something for the saturday, maybe a night away somewhere. He moaned about money and said it would have to be somewhere cheap which was fine I just thought it would be nice.
Anyway have not been able to get a sitter for dcs' and now he's just phoned and said:

'x just rung and asked if I wanna go to the rugby saturday then out for drinks, you dont mind do you'???

well yes I do, despite us not being able to get a sitter I thought maybe a graduation might have warranted a meal out, even if we take the dcs

So AIBU?

Fimbo Wed 03-Sep-08 13:28:29

No, it would p me off big time too.

sallystrawberry Wed 03-Sep-08 13:31:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gateau Wed 03-Sep-08 13:32:39

YANBU. Either he's very insensitive or just being a typical bloke - ie he didn't think. You know him.

VictorianSqualor Wed 03-Sep-08 13:33:15

YANBU.

I'd have replied with 'Yes, I do mind, Saturday is my day, Surely you haven't forgotten?'

Neeerly3 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:33:57

no you ANBU, a night away would have been cheaper than a rugby trip followed by drinks with the lads, if my DH is anything to go by. If his only excuse not to plan something was cost then he should be going nowhere.

HE is BU

tiredemma Wed 03-Sep-08 13:35:27

I would be pissed off.

Lizzylou Wed 03-Sep-08 13:36:34

YANBU, it's very thoughtless of him. Enjoy your day on friday and congratulations.
What are you graduating in?

BlingLovin Wed 03-Sep-08 13:36:56

I agree with VS - this happened to me a few months ago when DP had been away for work and when I spoke to him as I was rushing home to see him when he came back, he told me he'd agreed to go for a drink with a friend. i was livid. sadly, the conversation didn't go that well, but... he did come to accept what I'd said and apologised. I just wish I'd been calmer at the time.

RubyRioja Wed 03-Sep-08 13:38:21

he asked
what did you answer?

tiredemma Wed 03-Sep-08 13:38:57

I wouldnt be pissed off that he was was making plans to go out with pals in any normal circumstance- but I would be if he was making these plans for the weekend that I finally graduate from what will have been the hardest 3 years of my life.

say NO! Mossy!

mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:39:22

It wasnt just the money, although he did mention it. In his defence is night out will not be as expensive as a nite away. But yes, I would have expected him to say no and maybe take us out for a meal, or even just order a takeaway.

I think his argument is that, if we cant both go out, then whats wrong with one of us going out when invited angry

hey strawb, I dont know if theyre going up online. Im going in anyway then having a couple of drinks over the social. I start work on Monday, am shitting myself, how about you when do you start?

RubyRioja Wed 03-Sep-08 13:40:12

but what did you say when he asked?

mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:41:21

he said 'i wont go if youre gonna be in a mood about it'!
But then hung up when I mentioned the money thing (always the same, moans about what a hard month it will be then splashes out on nights out or aftershave)

So even though we cant go away, do you still think he should stay in with me?

mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:41:58

I said 'but saturday was supposed to be a special night, because I graduate on friday'

RubyRioja Wed 03-Sep-08 13:44:09

see - too much wriggle room
repeat after me

'I do mind. It is a special night, and we will celebrate together or as a family, or their will be hell to pay. I don't care whether it is a michelin star meal or fish and chips, we will celebrate my graduation, or suffer my wrath'

things are usually harmonious chez Ruby

BlingLovin Wed 03-Sep-08 13:44:35

yes, he should stay in with you. Not because of the money, but because you had planned a celebration - even if that is just a takeaway at home and a handmade card from DCs.

mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:46:55

Ruby, im having dejavu about us having a similar conversation before where you persuade me to do something grin cant remember what though.
But yes I like your style, I might txt that too him now as he probably wont pick up

RubyRioja Wed 03-Sep-08 13:48:41

ooo scarygrin

I find Dh copes much better if I am very E-XP_L_I_C_IT about what I want. Far easier that way

sallystrawberry Wed 03-Sep-08 13:50:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mosschops30 Wed 03-Sep-08 13:56:13

yes well sall you know how 'supportive' hmm he has been over the last 3 years. In fact a few weeks ago he told me that my degree had been harder on him and all I'd been doing was fannying round in college angry

Maybe I should slice his penis off and keep it in a jar

sallystrawberry Wed 03-Sep-08 13:58:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sallystrawberry Wed 03-Sep-08 14:01:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsmother Wed 03-Sep-08 14:13:11

"I think his argument is that, if we cant both go out, then whats wrong with one of us going out when invited"

Huh ??

You can both go out - albeit with the kids - maybe for a pizza or some such, in a "isn't mummy clever" type celebration surely to God ??

He's being a selfish twat, because it strikes me he's deliberately playing down your achievement and seizing upon any old excuse to avoid admitting you've done well.

Ronaldinhio Wed 03-Sep-08 14:21:18

What rubyrioja said

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