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to be so cross at friend who thinks i have it 'easy' Because I go to work!

(68 Posts)
memoo Tue 02-Sep-08 18:54:24

She is a SAHM with 3 DC 2, 5 and 7.

My DC are 7 and 9

I was complaining a little bit today about having to go back to work after long summer hols (I work in a school) She said that I should be grateful that I get to get away from the children each day, that its harder for her because she is "stuck at home with the kids all day"

I don't doubt that its hard for her. I too was a sahm until my youngest went to school but I think its really unfair for her to say I have it easy! I still have to do all the housework stuff when I get in from work.

I just hate the way people judge, how can one person say that someone else has it easier than them. I work bloody hard! as i'm sure everyone else with kids does too.

Maybe she was just having a bad day but for some reason I am really cross with her.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 02-Sep-08 18:57:49

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JuneBugJen Tue 02-Sep-08 18:59:42

Have same with my friend. She has 3 dcs, I have 2. Went back to work 3 days a week recently and she keeps saying what a break it must be for me and she still has to do all the housework etc. SO do I! (actually, we both have cleaners, mine every other week, hers every week so perhaps we have to do a bit less house stuff than most).

My job is really pressurised seeing 30+ patients a day and I find it as exhausting than being with my dcs in a different way. Yes being a SAHM is hard, but so is being torn between work and home and never feeling like you are doing either justice. Dont like that she says my life is easier.

ShyBaby Tue 02-Sep-08 19:01:39

Ive done both. Equally hard.

I used to be peed off after spending all day with dd and never seeing another soul. She cried all day and wore me out.

Now im peed off having to come home after work, cleaning the house and still looking after the kids.

memoo Tue 02-Sep-08 19:04:14

I'm a teaching assistant so even though i'm not with my own children I do spend all day looking after other peoples, its an exhausting job! I still have to do all the housework when i come home the same as I would have done had I sayed home all day.

tbh I would love to be a sahm

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 19:11:41

I personally find it less stressful to go to work, like StarlightMc I've done both, I wouldn't say it to someone though, as it's all personal experience.

Wickedwedgiewoman Tue 02-Sep-08 19:14:07

It's bloody hard working and having to still do all the housy things, and do alot with the kids.

Sometimes think it would be nice to be a sahm (mr bank manager would disagree strongly!) but then spending all day every day doing the same things over and over...when I go to work I feel like I get a bit of my identity back..i'm Me, not just Mum/ wife. iyswim

Do have alot of respect for sahm cos I think I would go quietly insane.

Tortington Tue 02-Sep-08 19:15:29

both lifestyels are hard - but its hardly a pissing contest.

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 19:16:24

That's it WWW, I think being a SAHM can be worse in that you get no break, but being a WOHM can often be more physically stressing.

That's why I like being a SOHM.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 02-Sep-08 19:16:45

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StarlightMcKenzie Tue 02-Sep-08 19:17:56

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StarlightMcKenzie Tue 02-Sep-08 19:18:22

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TheCrackFox Tue 02-Sep-08 19:20:05

I agree with Custy. Next time she starts droning on say "I didn't realise it was a competition, but if is so important to you then OK you win". Should shut her up.

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 19:20:10

dunno, it's what I do apparently, when I'm being 'pompos'.

LucyJones Tue 02-Sep-08 19:20:50

vs - thought you was eating wink

JuneBugJen Tue 02-Sep-08 19:22:05

Thats the thing. We are so busy at work as receptionists book it so we only get 30 mins lunch (usually then booking in an extra patient) that I dont get lunch or a break.
Whereas when I was a SAHM I got to go do coffee with mates, play, walk outside, put feet up when both dcs napped (sometimes).

Didn't ever feel like I was losing identity as SAHM, and never really got bored. Perhaps the problem with me is that I actually found my perfect job (SAHM) but the pay was shite!

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 19:22:14

The 'ole man is taking his time.
Pfft, just can't get the staff, I mean, it's not as if he's been at work all day, come home and cleaned up then had to make dinner?

oh, it is. What a darlinggrin

andiem Tue 02-Sep-08 19:25:33

I have done both too and agree with others that work is easier at least you get some headspace and the opportunity to go to the loo in peace

I always had great admiration for sahms when I worked
but she maybe was a bit insensitive

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 02-Sep-08 19:27:41

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msdemeanor Tue 02-Sep-08 19:28:50

Why on earth is she insensitive? You were moaning about your position, so she joined in and moaned about hers! Fair enough. I am so desperate for the kids to go back to school and nursery it's not true!

JuneBugJen Tue 02-Sep-08 19:30:08

Sorry, sound grumpy about all this as only just gone back to work and miss my wee monsters being gits darlings all day. Feeling jealous of SAHM's but know cant join them full time.

breevandetramp Tue 02-Sep-08 19:31:27

you do have it easy.

LucyJones Tue 02-Sep-08 19:31:58

lol VS grin

jelliebelly Tue 02-Sep-08 19:33:13

Next time she says anything tell her to get a job then!!

memoo Tue 02-Sep-08 19:36:41

true msd that I was moaning too but I didn't tell her that she has it easy like she did me!

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