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To just ignore the text

(12 Posts)
VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 10:59:46

Long story.

DD used to go to a friend's house (we'll call her Jemma) most mornings before school for about half an hour and would then walk to school with Jemma.

The Jemma's mum got a bit fed up apparently because I didn't stop to talk to her at school every day (I had a bus to catch).

She had DD for about 8 weeks in total, so I offered to look after Jemma for her some days during the summer holidays when she was at work.

A couple of times he just didn't turn up and told me later that she had 'forgot' I was meant to be having Jemma. I was quite annoyed but always texted her by about 11 to see where she was (comes between 9 and 10am) so didn't spend the whole day waiting in. She always turned up by about 4pm to pick her up.

Last friday DP got home at 5pm, expecting me to be ready to go out (just shopping, but when you have three bedtimes and a dinner to organise you want to go when you planned!) Jemma was still here. I'm a lot softer than DP so wasn't too bothered, it was only an hour after all.

Come 5:30, I'm starting to think either something has happened or she is taking the piss. 5:45 her boyfriend turns up, and is totally unaware that she was nearly two hours late. So I asked him to tell her to text or call me in future if she is going to be late, she had called him only ten minutes before to get him to collect her.

I have just seen a text I received this morning, her asking if I wanted Jemma today.

They're back at school soon anyway so today would've been the last day that I had her but I'm even more annoyed that there was no apology for being almost two hours late on Friday, then the expectation I'd have her today.

My phone isn't topped up and I can't just go to the shop to top it up as we live in a village with no cashpoint or debit card facilities (my online and phone debit card set-up has messed up) so I'd have to call her on the landline to answer her.

AIBU to just ignore the text and then when I see her brush it off with 'Sorry I didn't reply but it was late when I saw it so I knew she'd be somewhere else'?

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Tue 02-Sep-08 11:01:10

I would ring her and say you are busy today so can't have her.

If you want to keep the friendship let it go about the late thing.

piratecat Tue 02-Sep-08 11:05:02

She should have apologised for not calling you, and yes she was being rude to ask yuo today having not apologised.

When did she want you to have her? i mean how long ago did she send the text. depends, wether she thinks you got the text earlier, and she has now made other arrangement, so in that case its ok.

She might now be annoyed you didn't reply, or thinks you are annoyed with her after friday.

sagacious Tue 02-Sep-08 11:05:49

I'd do as INMGBSLM suggests TBH.

nowirehangers Tue 02-Sep-08 11:08:18

INMGBSLM has the right idea
It's not worth the potential grief - even if you don't particularly want to keep the friendship better to let it fizzle out with you having done the right thing
If she does it again then have another think!

Flossish Tue 02-Sep-08 11:10:41

but she is annoted with her after fri! i'd ignore myself tbh.

VinegarTits Tue 02-Sep-08 11:12:27

Did you tell her she had to pick her dd up at a certain time as you had plans? YABU not to reply, just tell her you cant have her your busy.

Freckle Tue 02-Sep-08 11:12:54

You could ignore it and, when you see her, say that your battery had run down and by the time you'd charged it up and seen her text it was too late to reply.

Peachy Tue 02-Sep-08 11:13:12

Ah- if you said next time / in te future call you first if late, you are saying there will be a next time, no? So maybe that s where the assumption comes in?

I'd have called abck, said OK but asked for a collection time.

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 11:20:57

If I ring her now I know I'll be all 'don't worry about it' about friday, and I don't want to!

Her daughter wrecks my house and is generally really badly behaved so I wanted to get out of having to have her anymore as it is, so it's sort of a blessing in disguise

She sent the text at 9am, but I only just saw it, she will have arranged something else by now.

VictorianSqualor Tue 02-Sep-08 11:23:29

VT, There was no specific time mentioned on that day, but she finishes work at 3:30, picks her son up and then comes to get her DD, this has been the way twice a week, every day for the summer holidays so she knew I was expecting her for four.

Peachy, I think so, possibly, I only said 'next time' as a way to tell them I wasn't happy rather than say 'I'm not impressed' iyswim.

I need to be more assertive!

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Wed 03-Sep-08 10:55:09

What happened?

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