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to want one night without worries - just one night?

(5 Posts)
MaamiMoo Mon 01-Sep-08 16:59:11

Bit of background: I moved back in with my mother and stepfather after I caught my ex cheating on me.

The good part of tonight is i'm going on a date with an old friend from school. I haven't been on one for 10 years. I haven't been on an evening out for about 18 months so i'm excited, however, I don't expect others to share in my excitement. So i've just got in from work, going to get myself ready and my mother drops a bombshell - she has put her notice in at work all because she doesn't like going on the courses. So she won't have a job, her husband won't have a job and there will be little me on 20 hrs per week barely affording the money I pay them for my children and I to stay here and my bus fare. I know my mother will be relying on me to pay all the bills, the house insurance, their petrol for their car etc while she is out of work for goodness knows who long. I know if I challenge her she will just come out with how she has supported me all these years (I was 16 and left school when I got a job and started paying my own way) but I think a mothers role is that and a daughter shouldn't have to take the worry of supporting 3 adults unless they are her children.

cluckyagain Mon 01-Sep-08 17:02:19

I think you need to just have a sit down and ask general questions such as:

right how are we going to cope on the money coming into the household (as mie obviously won't be enough for all of us?)

Calculate together how much is incoming re: money and outgoings you have to cope with.

Reduce together what you can reduce.

Deal with it as a family, as adults.

cluckyagain Mon 01-Sep-08 17:04:07

Sorry - not suggesting that you;re not behaving as an adult, just that mentioning it to your mum and sf might stop the 'well we supported you' conversation when you so clearly can't afford to look after everyone on your own. A healthy dose of realism needs to be injected from all 3 sides.

beanieb Mon 01-Sep-08 17:17:25

DO you pay them rent and bill money already? They shouldn't increase it just because they can't afford to live there shock

highschoolmusical Mon 01-Sep-08 17:20:10

Agree with beanie. I would make it clear that you will not be paying more. they need to get jobs sharpish. IMHO I think you should get a place of your own - they sound like they are taking the piss. YANBU. Get ready, go out and enjoy!grin

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