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to be annoyed with exh's paltry contribution towards the DS's school uniforms???

(31 Posts)
FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 18:50:21

We agreed before he even moved out in March that he would either pay for all of the uniforms (DS1 and 2 both going up to new schools) or at least contribute towards them.

I spoke to him earlier in the week and at that point it looked like the cost was going to be around £200 and he said he'd give me £100 towards them - I was quite happy with this.

However the cost has turned out to be closer to £300 - so I was hoping to ask him for a little bit more towards them. £130 on my CC's for bits and pieces, shoes, trousers etc, and I have to pay approx £160 for the stuff I've ordered from the 2 schools (supposed to be paid in the next few days)

When he picked the DS's up yesterday morning to have the for the night he said he hadn't made the bonus at work this month so things were tight - but he'd sort it out for today to give me the cash.

He's just dropped them off and given me £20, which means that I'm going to be about £100 short of what I actually need. He says he's going to sort the rest out, but was making excuses about things being "tight".......well sorry but I didn't exactly go leaping about in joy at the amount I've had to pay out, especially when I had to put it on the plastic -

I've texted him and arranged to ring him later to talk about when he'll give me the rest - AIBU to think that he could have made more of an effort than just £20???

scorpio1 Sun 31-Aug-08 18:51:39

YANBU at all, especially when he said he would give more!!

Majeika Sun 31-Aug-08 18:52:00

£300! shock

what on earth did you buy?

I have just bought all new stuff for both boys and it cost around £60 total inc shoes for ds1.

nametaken Sun 31-Aug-08 18:52:35

have I got this right. The total cost is £300 and he has given you £20?

bellavita Sun 31-Aug-08 18:55:35

Majeika - my DS1 is going up to a new school and we have to go to a specific shop to get his uniform, has to have a games shirt, pe shirt, craft apron, games socks, the list is endless and it has cost me well over £150 (inc shoes) just for him so I can see where FAQ is coming from price wise.

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 18:56:28

Majeika - I have to buy 2 completely new uniforms, and shoes, lunchboxes, etc etc.

Both DS's skinny (and DS1 has a history of wrecking even the "best" trousers very quickly) so need several pairs of trousers each, plus the logoed stuff from the school ( don't HAVE to buy it - but having been bullied myself at school for not having the "proper" uniform don't want DS's going through the same)

Nametaken - yes total cost nearly £300 and he's give me £20 towards it.......I'm sure he is going to give me the rest - but I need it NOW as I have to pay cash to the schools for the bits I ordered from them and have put the stuff I didn't get from the schools on my CC.

bellavita Sun 31-Aug-08 18:57:27

He offered to pay £100 he should have had this ready.

welshdeb Sun 31-Aug-08 18:58:27

my ds is starting comp next week and with everything ie shirts trousers junpers tie plus the extras like pe kit, rugby kit, craft apron, rugby socks, not to mention shoes, trainers coat etc and I have spent about £150 so if you have 2 I would believe it.

£20 wouldn't buy the rugby kit so I really think he is being unfair especially as you gave him an idea of it beforehand.

bellavita Sun 31-Aug-08 18:59:46

oh and I forgot - another £25 for trainers yesterday so he can take his old ones and use them at school for pe/games and keep the new ones at home.

twinsetandpearls Sun 31-Aug-08 18:59:52

Does he pay maintenance. My ex contributes nothing including no maintenance but if he did pay maintenace I would leave it at that.

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 19:01:06

twinset - no he doesn't pay maintenance yet - waiting for the CSA to sort it out (which reminds me I must ring them to found what's happening with that)

ruddynorah Sun 31-Aug-08 19:01:49

it would be nice if he gave you more, especially as he said he would but i guess it depends what your set up is. all he HAS to give is his maintenance, but many people do split large expenses. but some get nothing at all.

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 19:03:05

ruddy - I know some get nothing - but he said he was going to give me £100 - and hasn't........

Alambil Sun 31-Aug-08 19:05:36

Yes but the fact is, he said he'd give £100... he is £80 short and has known for months on end that this bill would be coming in the first week of September

Sorry he's being a jerk FAQ - I hope you can sort it

ruddynorah Sun 31-Aug-08 19:06:07

yes i see that. like i said, it would be nice if he gave you more, but he doesn't have to, other than morally i suppose. not sure the £300 cost is reasonable tbh. perhaps that's where the problem is rather then with your ex.

scorpio1 Sun 31-Aug-08 19:09:06

but he isnt even giving her any weekly money yet!!

And has had plenty of notice.

ruddynorah Sun 31-Aug-08 19:10:37

then i'd be concentrating on sorting that out. how would you expect him to come up with £100 if he can't come up with regular money?

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 19:12:10

why is £300 cost not reasonable - £150 for each child, including new shoes, trousers, logo-ed school stuff (jumpers, shirts, pe kit, book bags, jackets - DS1's school one lasted him for this 3yrs at infant school -), lunch boxes, socks, plimsols, trainers etc etc

bellavita Sun 31-Aug-08 19:13:04

but he has had plenty of time to put say £20 a month away to cover it.

bellavita Sun 31-Aug-08 19:14:11

FAQ - £300 is very reasonable for two. As I said with everything DS1 needs I know where you are coming from.

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 19:16:00

the regular money hasn't been sorted out yet still waiting for CSA to get their arse in gear.

He's known for 5 month that he was paying for some of it -and DS1'a uniform 3yrs ago cost well over £100 - so it's not exactly a shock to the system how much it costs.

And he did say he was going to pay £100 towards........

Alambil Sun 31-Aug-08 19:19:08

He's just being his typical lazy self - he couldn't be arsed to budget for the bill - that's the real issue

He has been TOTALLY out of order and I am quite angry on your behalf!!

twinsetandpearls Sun 31-Aug-08 19:22:40

But if he had said in advance that he could and would give you £100 you are not being unreasonable, particularly if he is not paying maintenance.

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 19:29:12

have arranged to ring him later (once the boys are in bed) to discuss it - he's totally f*cked my finances up for the start of the month now - bloody typical when September (new school year) was going to be the start of me being more in control of them (they're not that bad now - but they could be better - and I'd got it all sorted out.........well I thought I had.....for September

FAQ Sun 31-Aug-08 20:55:00

well that's me f*cked up for September - just spoken to him and it's going to be end of September he gives me more towards it

All my carefully budgetted plans for September right out the bloody window

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