Please tell me if you think I have issues with SIL.....
When SIL was PG I lent her all the baby stuff we no longer needed. (DD was almost a year old)
I did say I would like the things back. SIL asked why, if I didn't intend having any more DC's - the truth is I wanted to ebay it She did offer the moses basket back,when thye's finished with it, but as we were temporarily in a rented house, and were very short on storage space I asked her to keep it in her loft, but not to get rid of it with out telling me.
The thing is I would really like the brand new tens machine back - I have given up on everything else, as it's obviously been trashed (such is life) - and the moses basket so I can sell it.
Last year I gave them a bag of DD's old clothes, which included a really pretty cotton party dress, and said she was welcome to have the dress if DN would wear it (SIL doesn't like DN wearing pink), but I would like it back, as I was fond of it. It has just been returned via DM , washed, but not ironed, and a little bit stained (but that's to be expected, I suppose).
You made it clear you wanted the items back ...and wanting to ebay them is as good a reason as any for wanting them back! Ask her for your stuff back again. Its yours after all!
As for the clothes, well maybe you are a being a bit unreasonable. Clothes have a short life for lots of babies/toddlers (sick, food, dirt etc) so personally i wouldn't expect clothes back unless i had a younger dd to use them after SIL had finished.
I'm not having any more children, but I don't give any of our stuff to dp and gf for their baby son. When she was pg I offered her our pram (2 year old urban detour) as we would have finished with it by the time their baby was born. She said 'oh dp wants all new'. So now I make so secret of the fact that I ebay everything, and when mil asked why I don't save stuff for bil I told her about the pram incident. Mil thought I still should hand everything over, so now I ebay some stuff but give quite a bit of stuff to the local womens refuge. No one can argue with the fact that the refuge ladies are more needy than bilsgf so none of the ils can comment now.
If I were you I'd just stop giving/loaning stuff that is special to you.
I do think you are being a bit unreasonable to say 'oh we want it back, but we haven't got anywhere to keep it so you'll have to hang on to it for me'. If you are ebaying stuff you don't need to find space to keep things.
Sorry but tbh I wouldn't have lent a dress that I was fond of. I have kept lots of my daughter's pretty dresses for sentimental reasons. I wouldn't have lent them out because I know that childrens stuff often does get worn and stained.
Have you asked for the things back? YANBU to want them back if you lent rather than gave, whatever you intend to do with them. But it doesn't sound as though you have even asked, why should there be a problem?