To want back the baby stuff I lent to SIL?

[LynetteScavo]

Please tell me if you think I have issues with SIL.....

When SIL was PG I lent her all the baby stuff we no longer needed. (DD was almost a year old)

I did say I would like the things back. SIL asked why, if I didn't intend having any more DC's - the truth is I wanted to ebay it She did offer the moses basket back,when thye's finished with it, but as we were temporarily in a rented house, and were very short on storage space I asked her to keep it in her loft, but not to get rid of it with out telling me.

The thing is I would really like the brand new tens machine back - I have given up on everything else, as it's obviously been trashed (such is life) - and the moses basket so I can sell it.

Last year I gave them a bag of DD's old clothes, which included a really pretty cotton party dress, and said she was welcome to have the dress if DN would wear it (SIL doesn't like DN wearing pink), but I would like it back, as I was fond of it. It has just been returned via DM , washed, but not ironed, and a little bit stained (but that's to be expected, I suppose).

Do I need to get over my self?

Having just read this I think IABU.

[lulumama]

well, lending is not the same as giving, so if you made it clear it was on loan, you are not unreasonable to want it back

it is not unreasonable that clothes worn by small children get stained, and if it was precious, then you should not have lent it

the brand new TENS machine - YANBU wanting that back in good condition

it is your stuff, no need to be about wanting to ebay it

if you were clear with SIL you wanted it back, she should not have got rid of stuff or not taken care of it to the point it is ruined

[LilRedWG]

What Lulumama said.

[reginaphilangy]

YANBU at all.

You made it clear you wanted the items back ...and wanting to ebay them is as good a reason as any for wanting them back! Ask her for your stuff back again. Its yours after all!

As for the clothes, well maybe you are a being a bit unreasonable. Clothes have a short life for lots of babies/toddlers (sick, food, dirt etc) so personally i wouldn't expect clothes back unless i had a younger dd to use them after SIL had finished.

[Elmosgirl]

Not unreasonable to ask for it back if it was clear from the start it was a loan.

But probably shouldn't have loaned any clothes you want back as they can be easily wrecked.

[LouMacca]

I dont think its unreasonable to ask for a brand new tens machine back to stick on ebay.

I have given/lent lots of childrens clothes and wouldn't expect them back tbh.

[LynetteScavo]

It was only the dress I wanted back.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I'm not having any more children, but I don't give any of our stuff to dp and gf for their baby son.
When she was pg I offered her our pram (2 year old urban detour) as we would have finished with it by the time their baby was born. She said 'oh dp wants all new'.
So now I make so secret of the fact that I ebay everything, and when mil asked why I don't save stuff for bil I told her about the pram incident.
Mil thought I still should hand everything over, so now I ebay some stuff but give quite a bit of stuff to the local womens refuge. No one can argue with the fact that the refuge ladies are more needy than bilsgf so none of the ils can comment now.

If I were you I'd just stop giving/loaning stuff that is special to you.

I do think you are being a bit unreasonable to say 'oh we want it back, but we haven't got anywhere to keep it so you'll have to hang on to it for me'.
If you are ebaying stuff you don't need to find space to keep things.

[LouMacca]

Sorry but tbh I wouldn't have lent a dress that I was fond of. I have kept lots of my daughter's pretty dresses for sentimental reasons. I wouldn't have lent them out because I know that childrens stuff often does get worn and stained.

[Annya]

Have you asked for the things back? YANBU to want them back if you lent rather than gave, whatever you intend to do with them. But it doesn't sound as though you have even asked, why should there be a problem?

[cornsilk]

YANBU as you specified it was a lend, not a give. Why hasn't she given you the tens machine back?