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Took Dss back to his mums to be told she doesn`t want him for longer than 2 days!!

(7 Posts)
nuttyworkingmum Thu 28-Aug-08 15:38:19

Just come back from holiday and took dss back too his mums. Dp tells me she wants him to stay with us again this weekend as she is having friends over and cant look after him. My god can`t believe how selfish she is. Poor dss as I told him I`m sure she would want to spend this weekend doing something fun with him. Then she expects to get maintenance from Dp even though we seem to look after dss more than she!. I like having dss to stay but what I don`t like is seeing money being given to her and it not being spent on dss, or is it?? I have no idea!.We have dss every weekend and his mum gets money every week even if we have him with us. Is this fair? what do you all think?? I guess the csa would expect dp to pay even if we had him for lot`s of time. It annoys me that she calls the shots and dp is worried she would be difficult so trys to keep the peace, but I think she is really taking the mick.

Marne Thu 28-Aug-08 15:45:13

You need to let CSA know how may hours a week you have him, i think if its more than 3 days your dh wont have to pay as much money to CSA (i may be wrong but he needs to look into it)

duomonstermum Thu 28-Aug-08 16:14:02

def get onto the csa. and keep a diary of the dates that you have him. we've been in the situation of doing things to keeps the peace and all ex did was take the piss. we did get the csa sorted out but we've yet to get a penny from her when we've had them for 5-6wks at a time. i couldn't care less about her giving it to us, but it would be have been great if she would give some to the kids for entertainment etc when they were with us, seeing as we were having to do everything for 6 people with the money for 4.... moot point now that the kids have decided to live with us. btw she still hasn't signed over child benefit or answered csa letters hmm funny how when the shoe was on the other foot she couldn't stop phoning/writing pushing for "what she was entitled to"...

VinegarTits Thu 28-Aug-08 16:27:14

Hang on, you say you have him every weekend, then that is not more than she has him, if she has him all week, maybe she had plans for the weekend that she couldnt change, also if you have him every weekend then does that mean you get the weekend off because you have been on holiday? She is entitled to money from her ex and what she does with it is her business, but if you think she is getting more than she deserves then your dp needs to inform the csa that you have him over night every weekend. I wouldnt say she was selfish because she made plans for the weekend, its not like she is telling you she doesnt want him back ever. Sounds like you have issues with her getting maintenance, I would leave it for your dp to sort out and enjoy the fact that you get to spend so much time with your dss as some absent parents dont get that luxury.

dilbertina Thu 28-Aug-08 16:35:46

So, you have them every w/e usually as per agreement, but assumed because you'd just had them for a whole week hols you wouldn't be having them at w/e as usual?

I can see where you are coming from and appreciate you are frustrated but I do think you, or rather dp should have checked this before telling dss you were sure she would want to spend w/e doing something fun with him. Poor boy.

snarky Thu 28-Aug-08 16:42:23

"Poor dss as I told him I`m sure she would want to spend this weekend doing something fun with him"

well you shouldn't have, should you? hmm

shelleylou Thu 28-Aug-08 16:59:36

I know XCSA take 1/7 of the maintenance for a 2 night stay fortnightly. Im not sure how it would effect everyweekend

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