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To think that my cousins should be grateful for what they are given?

(16 Posts)
generouscousin Thu 28-Aug-08 14:55:02

My aunt left us all money in her will, unfortunatly it was split unevenly and i ended up with the lions share.

At the funeral i said i was going to split it more evenly as i felt that would be fairer however after talking it through with a solicitor and my husband i decided that it would be wrong to go against my aunts last wishes and tbh i felt very pressurised at the funeral to make things fairer.

Insted i am doubling the cousins legacy using my own, but i've found out that one cousin is willing to fall out with be because of it sad

tiredemma Thu 28-Aug-08 14:56:01


StayFrosty Thu 28-Aug-08 14:57:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jesuswhatnext Thu 28-Aug-08 15:01:10

spend it, it's yours, your cousin will only try and do something 'laudable' with it anyway grin

Bumdiddley Thu 28-Aug-08 15:01:56

Was your aunt a nasty old lady with mental health problems wink

TheHedgeWitch Thu 28-Aug-08 15:02:58

Message withdrawn

2beornot2be Thu 28-Aug-08 15:04:18

PMSL!!! Buy a really nice car park it outside the house and only give them money owed DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT GIVE THEM THE EXTRA 5 GRAND

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Thu 28-Aug-08 15:10:33

Wow. What a weird thing for your aunt to do. She left her niece more money than she left her own children?

That is a strange thing to do.

If I were you, I would value the feelings of the living more, and not delude yourself that you are holding on the money to "honour your aunts wishes".

Perhaps your cousins have behaved badly, but I can understand why they have behaved badly. They have suffered a hurtful rejection and betrayal by their mother.

it is probably important for them to feel that reasonable people know that what she did was unfair and bound to cause hurt, resentment and fighting.

If I were you, I would call a summit with your cousins and say that you are sorry that you have been used as some kind of tool in your aunt's sorcery, but that your relationships with your living relatives are far more important to you.

Tell your cousins that you would love to see a line drawn under this now. Divide the money equally and hope that they accept them. Don't expect them to be grateful though. That money, should, in a perfect world of sane mothers, have been theirs anyway.

I don't know how close you are to your cousins, maybe not that close, but do the right thing. Otherwise, for the rest of your life, long after you have forgotten what you spent the money on, it will be there, picking and niggling away at your conscience like a half-healed scab.

My Dad had half-brothers and half-sisters and whole siblings, and I know a little bit about what I'm talking about. My Dad is the only one who is on speaking terms with everybody. He is the only one that valued that state of affairs over his personal tranche of the money. An amount that seems more and more pathetic with every passing year.

TheHedgeWitch Thu 28-Aug-08 15:13:11

Message withdrawn

CuckooSplodgeandTubs Thu 28-Aug-08 15:17:25

Tvm Hedge!

BlingLovin Thu 28-Aug-08 15:18:00

Well, obviously you shouldn't have said anything at the funeral if if you were feeling upset and pressurised. This is entirely your own fault, and if it were me, I'd give your cousins all of the money, including your share. Possibly throw in the money you've been saving for your children's schooling.

generouscousin Thu 28-Aug-08 15:34:57

Blinglovin i'm sure you are right, i think i'll sell my house and give them the proceeds too.

cikecaka Thu 28-Aug-08 15:43:49


Quattrocento Thu 28-Aug-08 16:07:04

My advice to you is not to give the ungrateful cousin a single penny more than your aunt originally intended. I think this is only fair.

cheshirekitty Thu 28-Aug-08 16:22:00

Spend, spend spend all the money. Or you could give it to the 'cheshirekitty fund for old and decrepit nurses fund'. I they will find a use for it.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Thu 28-Aug-08 16:37:40

Don't give her a penny more than the £5000. She doesn't need it afterall.

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