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To say nothing when a woman threatened to beat her children

(6 Posts)
Litchick Thu 28-Aug-08 07:58:23

I was leaving ASDA with my DCs yesterday adnd saw three little boys sobbing. I looked around for who they might be with and saw a woman standing nearby talking into her mobile.
She broke off for a second and shouted at the boys to shut up.
Even though the tone of her voice was unusually loud and aggressive for a public place I gave her a smile as we've all been there haven't we? Supermarket, kids playing up.
Then she slapped her phone shut , marched yp to the boys and screamed right in their faces, 'I am not your Dad, I'm back now and I will beat you right here.'
The boys wailed even louder.
I looked at the woman this time to tell her to calm down but the way she looked at me told me that if I did she would start screaming at me or worse so I bundled my own DCs and got the hell out. To be honest she seemed out of control.
This morning my DC asked what might have happned afterwards and I told him that she was probably very sorry and had tucked them all up in bed with a hot chocolate and a story. sad But that's just a lie isn't it?
I don't what I'm more shocked at the woman's behaviour or my own inaction. I mean don't we have to watch out for all children not just our own?

cocolepew Thu 28-Aug-08 08:03:44

IT's hard to know what to do. I posted last week about stopping a woman and having a go at her for screaming at her small child and threatening to beat him, but I didn't have my own DDs with me at the time.

mou Thu 28-Aug-08 08:11:51

i think you might have done the right thing, with some people outside interferance can make it worse and then she would have been even harder on the boys. Could you ask customer services at asda to keep an eye out for her? she might be a regular and then it's not personal if they intervene and you know that you have done something.

2beornot2be Thu 28-Aug-08 16:28:20

I don't think you can do anything unless she was actually beating on the children. I know plenty of people that tell there kids if you don't stop I am going to beat you or lick ya down it doesnt mean they actually would. My Dp is black and is forever asking the DC's (when being naughty) if they want licks its quite normal for him to say this even thou my youngest 2.5 tells him Yes Daddy I do and runs of laughing my DP wouldnt ever beat them thou its just a threat to make them listen

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Thu 28-Aug-08 16:31:52

Please don't stress yourself about not doing anything more. You had to put your own children first and she may very well have hit you, though I doubt it. Sounds like she just picks on children. sad

I have intervened when I saw someone acting roughly with her child but I approached her by asking if she was okay. I listened to what the child had done but I got my point across that she shouldn't do it and would feel worse later. Once the child was safe in the car she came over and thanked me.

PonderingThoughts Thu 28-Aug-08 17:01:53

Just as a thought...what if the gaps were filled in as follows:

3 boys have just been a complete nightmare round the supermarket. Misbehaving, playing up etc.

then they've been hanging off her shirt tales with "I wants" and "Daddy always lets us" etc etc

Then her phone rings and she receives some stresing information -- relative ill in hospital--bank error, no money--whatever

Then she just snaps...yells at kids because she is stressed up to the limit for a split second....and you happen to see.

What if, 'beat' in their famly just means a flat hand smack on the bottom -- or, (more likely with trashy people), 'beat' is just a threat that is thrown about and never carried out anyway.

You may also have got the 'look' because she knew she was wrong and in that split second, did not need you to point that out to her.

Just saying, that there may well be a whole big picture that you didn't actually see or know about and it may not actually be as bad as you're left thinking it is.

She may well have got them in the car and explained to her boys more rationally and maybe even offered an apology?!
(I know maybe not as well...but maybe)

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