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to be a little bit hacked off with mil?

(31 Posts)
MissisBoot Wed 27-Aug-08 17:31:12

I know I am a little bit.

Mil comes over every week to see dd - last week she didn't come over as I'm on leave and had things planned.

Today MIL wanted to take dd out and still hasn't returned - no idea what time she is going to be back.

When they get back DD is going to be knackered and won't eat her dinner - god knows what time she'll get to bed. DD is 3.

AIBU?

Chuffinnora Wed 27-Aug-08 17:34:17

In my opinion yes you are. My kids are running around the house while it pours with rain (again) and my mum though she would go on a weeks hols during the school hols. If I had a MiL and she wanted to take my kids out I would be THRILLED.
Enjoy the peace.
IME Grandparents can lose interest somewhat so take advantage now.

LucyJones Wed 27-Aug-08 17:34:26

what time did she take her?
maybe she has given her dinner?
it's only 17.30 so I think you are being a bit unreasonable

AbbeyA Wed 27-Aug-08 17:35:07

Why didn't you sort it all out before she took her?

lulumama Wed 27-Aug-08 17:35:53

am sure she will have given DD something to eat... if not, then she has one night where she is overtired and not wanting dinner. won;t hurt, not like she has to be up early for work in the morning

enjoy the peace and quiet

KVC Wed 27-Aug-08 17:39:00

Message withdrawn

findtheriver Wed 27-Aug-08 17:39:18

I would have been very grateful for a mother or MIL to take my kids out for the day when they were 3 years old!
It's not particularly late yet anyway. Does MIL have a mobile you can call to check ETA?

MissisBoot Wed 27-Aug-08 17:42:06

She took her out at about 9.30 this morning - I rather wrongly presumed they would be back after lunch - whenever she's taken her out before they normally come back about then. I didn't want to seem like a controlling dil!

MIL has no phone so can't contact her to see exactly where she is! I just worry that something may have happened.

I am actually enjoying doing absolutely nothing its just not knowing that makes me feel rather on edge.

hecate Wed 27-Aug-08 17:42:16

Hell yes YABU. Can she take mine out? grin

combustiblelemon Wed 27-Aug-08 17:54:20

It's understandable to be a bit worried if you expected them back earlier, but you know YAB a bit unreasonable. She's probably just making up for missing a week. If you feel it would help you could always give your MIL a cheap pay-as-you-go phone with £10 on it or lend her yours (if you have a landline) so you'll know in future when you have to get off the sofa and put the chocolate away whether to cook tea wink

Shitehawk Wed 27-Aug-08 18:03:32

Never presume. If you want her back for lunch, say so. If you don't want her back late, say so. If you want her home in time for a bath before bed, say so. Agree with your MIL in advance how long you are happy for your dd to be out for.

Buying her a cheap mobile phone is a good idea if you get twitchy not knowing where they are.

And bear in mind that, however sacrosanct bedtime is, the occasional later night doesn't hurt in the long run.

cheshirekitty Wed 27-Aug-08 18:17:09

MIL might be thinking, poor dil, I will give her a nice break today.

My mil would never have taken my dd out aged 3, it would have been too much work!!!

Hopefully, mil will have fed dd, and you can just put her to bed when she gets in (hopefully exhausted). Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

floaty Wed 27-Aug-08 18:24:32

Actually i was thinking YBU until I saw that they had been out for 9 hours,I would be pretty cheesed off and v worried if any of mine were out that long without me at least having a vague idea of their plans.

I agree that one day out of rroutine is not a problem but I am abit of a worrier!

Shitehawk Wed 27-Aug-08 18:58:16

Are they back yet, Missis?

HonoriaGlossop Wed 27-Aug-08 18:59:50

I'd be uncomfortable too, because it's been ages and you can't contact her...I'm sure they're fine BTW and it is lovely your MIL wants to spend time with her but it goes to show I guess that in future you need to agree a return time with her!

LucyJones Wed 27-Aug-08 19:01:49

at tis age my ds was spending 4 nights a year at MIL's so no idea what time he came back after a day out - I just left it entirely in her hands for those 4 days

MissisBoot Wed 27-Aug-08 19:32:04

Yep - got back about 7ish - I am now dealing with overtired and hungry toddler

I'll definitely set a time for return in future! Normally I'm not too bothered about late bedtimes etc I think its just that I didn't have a clue where they could be!

lulumama Wed 27-Aug-08 19:33:09

this is waht mobile phones are for !

pamelat Wed 27-Aug-08 19:39:24

I think she should have called you to say that they would be so late, or at least fed DD! Again, a quick courtesy call (even from a pay phone) wouldnt have gone amiss.
I would have worried.

posieflump Wed 27-Aug-08 19:40:28

blimey where had they been and hadn't she given him any food?!!

alicet Wed 27-Aug-08 21:12:02

Bloody heel what had they been doing for that long?!

Have to say YANBU. Altering routine every now and again is fine. Taking your dc out for 12 hours (shock) when you don't know where they are and not feeding them is well out of order. You did well not to lose your rag!

Tclanger Wed 27-Aug-08 21:20:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snickersnack Wed 27-Aug-08 21:23:31

For the second time in about 5 minutes, I've read an OP and got all ready to post "YABU" then read an update and revised my opinion. Just as well I am an open minded and flexible individual grin.

No, YANBU. 12 hours is way too long for a 3 year old to be out and about, my dd would have been on her knees. Not unreasonable to ask roughly when she's going to be back in future.

snickersnack Wed 27-Aug-08 21:23:35

For the second time in about 5 minutes, I've read an OP and got all ready to post "YABU" then read an update and revised my opinion. Just as well I am an open minded and flexible individual grin.

No, YANBU. 12 hours is way too long for a 3 year old to be out and about, my dd would have been on her knees. Not unreasonable to ask roughly when she's going to be back in future.

MissisBoot Thu 28-Aug-08 09:36:25

She just didn't realise the time [hmmm]

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