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To think that MN is too cliquey for me?

(140 Posts)
foxessmelltheirownholes Wed 27-Aug-08 11:14:25

I've been on this thing for a month or so, i started off quite enthusiasticly posting all over the place but for the last week or so I've been a 'silent observer', because I've lost heart.

Whenever I've posted either a) post ignored completely. Even if what I've said is echoed by an 'old timer' a few posts later, its the old timer that gets acknowledged not me. End up thinking why do I bother offering advice??
b)Threads die a horrible death

This was really noticable on the 'profile update' thread when I was busy telling everyone how beautiful their kids are etc only to receive "oh, yes thanks for that" but no mention of my beautiful darlings (however no biggie - cos I really don't need reassurance that they are beautiful cos they truly are just stunning!!) However I do think its just common courtesy to respond the compliment.

That said, occasionally I have had some nice responses, to which I've shown gratitude at the time, but sadly they have been very rare.

I just wanted to bring this up so that all you old timers are aware that some of you can be pretty cliquey and please can you start welcoming and acknowledging the newbies a bit more.

I've changed my name, BTW.

RubySlippers Wed 27-Aug-08 11:16:35

tis the internet

don't be upset by it

i have been here for quite a while and all the things you mention have happened to me

narkymum Wed 27-Aug-08 11:16:46

I think it takes a while and a few bun fights on here first. Having said that I would love to see your dc and tell you how lovely they are smile

nickytwotimes Wed 27-Aug-08 11:18:09

Love the name.
No one looked at my piccies, butb I couldn't give a toss, tbh. I don't know anyone here in rl, btu I enjoy chatting and debating.
Btw, the 'old-timers' will be on you for that cliquey comment!

beanieb Wed 27-Aug-08 11:18:43

lol - I have been posting since October ish and I still feel like a newbie, but as MN is so big I don't see it as Cliquey at all.

I see some threads and I want to respond (Aitch being in Hospital for example) but I don't feel confident enough to as I don't know her personally.

Foxes - I saw your profile thread and didn't post in it because it's just not the sort of thread I am drawn to, but that doesn't mean it was a bad thread or that people weren't taking part. Some people just don't responde to a compliment with another. Personally I am not the kind of person who goes all gushy over other people's kids. However I will take a look now grin

slim22 Wed 27-Aug-08 11:19:04

it can be very cliquey, you'll get over it like the rest of us mortals smile

welcome to mn

zippitippitoes Wed 27-Aug-08 11:19:05

if you change your name you will never be recognized

on the whole people dont acknowledge everyone because its tedious to read a load of thank you posts

or a load of [posts saying lovely kids

beanieb Wed 27-Aug-08 11:19:08

Oh - you don't have a profile sad

Saturn74 Wed 27-Aug-08 11:19:29

Everyone gets ignored sometimes.
MN is HUGE and moves quite fast.
Just wade in, and keep wading in.
Start some threads of your own - but ones that reflect your interests, or some light-hearted ones, rather than moany ones. wink
It's like RL - everyone feels a bit out of when they first meet a huge group of new people.

CvQ Wed 27-Aug-08 11:19:41

jesus how nice to only have this to worry about

slim22 Wed 27-Aug-08 11:20:24

agree with zippi about the namechanging.

TheDevilWearsPrimark Wed 27-Aug-08 11:20:30

by classifying 'oldtimers' and 'newbies' you are doing much the same. There's no 'us' and 'them'.

Get over yourself, and grow a pair. MN likes people who have the balls to post without namechanging (not that anyone would know who you are or care) wink

themildmanneredjanitor Wed 27-Aug-08 11:20:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2beornot2be Wed 27-Aug-08 11:21:39

Awwwwww don't worry about it. Some of them are cliquey some of them ain't just post everywhere someone is bound to respond especially if u disagree with the majority but be warned if you do they will jump on ya back.

SlartyBartFast Wed 27-Aug-08 11:21:48

ditto zippo,
and i have noticed it, if i namechange i get less response, although i am not here much - but you tend to recognise names - and act accordingly

FabioTheFlouncingCat Wed 27-Aug-08 11:22:03

You need a thick skin and more than a few weeks posting tbh.
Lots of people have mates having joined in ante or post natal threads.
It is impossible and imo wanky to acknowledge every single response to a long thread - follow another poster for a day and see how often they get a name check from the OP.

Keep posting - I don't get the cliquey bit tbh, but I suspect it's the same as in rl. How often do you burst into conversation with someone you don't know?

wahwah Wed 27-Aug-08 11:22:07

My experience has been different, in that when I've asked for advice I've always had a response from very helpful people. On other threads I suppose I have been ignored, but I'm not really that bothered as I think that this is for my entertainment when I'm bfing my daughter, not anything more.

BloodySmartarse Wed 27-Aug-08 11:22:12

youre pretty demanding, do you realise that?

do you imagine you are being singled out? do you know how many people post here daily? hpw often do you think they are all replied to?

oldies get ignotred too, they just know it isnt coz they smell and dont get all uppity about it.

if you want full on relationships, you might try the Real World, or parhaps sticking around long wenough to actually get to know people, instead of chucking toys out the pram.

narkymum Wed 27-Aug-08 11:22:41

Humphrey just looked on your profile, love the trousers very retro

feature Wed 27-Aug-08 11:23:02


tis true at times.... grin

that's life, i think anyway?

gingerninja Wed 27-Aug-08 11:23:04

I've been MNing for two years and still go pretty much un-noticed. Don't let it worry you, you'll find your own 'circle of friends' as it were they just might not be the 'in crowd'.

There has been a mass of new posters in the last few months though. I can't keep track of names anymore.

SoupDragon Wed 27-Aug-08 11:24:11

I get ignored all the time and I've been here since 2002. It's because there are so many posters now I think, back in Olden Times, it was difficult to ignore anyone as there weren't so many people about

feature Wed 27-Aug-08 11:24:33

<emails ginge spreadsheet full of names>

Saturn74 Wed 27-Aug-08 11:24:51

narky - I like to recycle curtains where I can.wink

kikid Wed 27-Aug-08 11:25:25

I do think that there is them and now theme going on here.

Mumsnet is cliquey.sad

I do think you have to ride the storm though we are all entitled to be on here!

I haven't changed my name and others will have a different view, but my view is exactly that mine!!!

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