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To want my mother to treat me as if I'm 33 rather than 3

(35 Posts)
dilemma456 Mon 25-Aug-08 11:47:27

Message withdrawn

pigleto Mon 25-Aug-08 11:49:56

She sounds like she needed something to do, is she very, very bored?.

My ds is going for a sleepover tomorrow and I made him pack his own bag. He is 6. I did ask if he had put his toothbrush in but the rest is up to him.

ForeverOptimistic Mon 25-Aug-08 11:51:48


Mil used to be a control freak although not quite as bad as this. We stopped seeing her so much and she soon got the message.

You must email her back and tell her that her email to you would be unacceptable to send to a 13 year old let alone a 33 year old!

BitOfFun Mon 25-Aug-08 11:52:09

I would just have a giggle to myself over it and go and pack myself. (then maybe check the list to see what I'd forgotten, lol!)

TheArmadillo Mon 25-Aug-08 11:55:43

she is being unreasonable. Sounds like a bit of a control freak.

Unfortunately that kind of behaviour would be restrained for my mother.

Just delete it or reply with a jokey - how old do you think I am?

lavenderbongo Mon 25-Aug-08 11:59:06

I think she meant the email to be helpful and it looks like she needed to do it for herself iyswim. Is she bored? Or just rather excited about this trip.
I would do as BitOfFun suggests and not take it too seriously.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BandofMothers Mon 25-Aug-08 12:00:55

Would be best not to offend her before you are going on holiday with her. If she is not going with you then even more annoying IMO. Just send short, fairly polite email saying thanks, but you think you can manage to do it by yourself, what with being a grown up and all.

ForeverOptimistic Mon 25-Aug-08 12:01:04

That must drive you mad tmmj. I don't have the patience to deal with that type of behaviour.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mother2two Mon 25-Aug-08 13:46:11

You are so lucky to have a mum who is lucid and can care, and write an e-mail, like yours.

I would give all my worldly possessions (with the exception of my children of course) to have a lucid mum and a mum who can care.

LittleBella Mon 25-Aug-08 14:07:23

An e-mail like that doesn't sound lucky to me tbh. It sounds undermining, disempowering and downright insulting. But perhaps I'm reading too much into it, our responses will all be coloured by our relationships with our own mothers.

No OP, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to be treated like an adult when you are one.

lojoesmammy Mon 25-Aug-08 14:19:03

I dont think you are unreasonable.
It was a kind of a nice thing for her to do.
BUT as you feel so peed off about it, I would be passive aggressive and ignore it completly. No response what so ever.

TwoWindyDays Mon 25-Aug-08 14:34:37

I would have to be restrained from replying in a sarcastic tone saying that she hadnt said when we should go to the toilet, have sex etc

I would then send a detailed itinery of what she should do while we were away, including a shopping list and what she should wear each day, what she should watch on tv, when to go to the toilet etc.

But I wouldnt. lol

Bronze Mon 25-Aug-08 14:37:02

I would wait until you are there then complain that you havent got something. Make sure its something thats not on her list.

EelCod Mon 25-Aug-08 14:41:22

no way
oytu haev made this up

AbbeyA Mon 25-Aug-08 14:42:55

YANBU. She just hasn't let go. I can see some parents on here being the same in 20yrs time! (only a minority!)

TheArmadillo Mon 25-Aug-08 14:42:56

wow you must have a really sheltered life if you think that is unbelievable.

EelCod Mon 25-Aug-08 14:43:29

no i htink you haev a nutty life if this is normal

TheArmadillo Mon 25-Aug-08 14:46:00

not normal, just believable.

Ok normal for my mother, but probably not for most.

bran Mon 25-Aug-08 15:46:06

Wait until you are away then reply to the email telling her you hadn't had a chance to read it before you left, but thanks for the thought. If she's a control freak that will drive her nuts. grin

Mother2two I'm sorry about your DM, but it's not really relevant to the OP's relationship with her mother.

AbbeyA Mon 25-Aug-08 15:57:03

I would actually wait until you get back and then reply and say that you were too busy packing and you didn't read it until you got back! If she should be in contact while you were away and mentions it just say that you were sorry but never got time to read any emails.

pamelat Mon 25-Aug-08 18:23:17

I cant decide whether this is sweet (?!) or incredibly patronising.

I have a close and informal relationship with my mum but since the arrival of DD have had to ask her to leave me to make my own mistakes, couldnt cope with the intervention!

Hecate Mon 25-Aug-08 18:25:24

You'll be lucky. We're always kids to them!

I get a plastic mug when I go for coffee! hmm

My grandad was showing me an old army knife he's got. He wouldn't let me hold it because "It's sharp, Petal"

It's so funny! grin

purpleduck Mon 25-Aug-08 18:38:02

Send her back you own "list" that includes:

Anal beads
DH's bumless animal thong
Nurses outfit
porn dvd's
"love" cheques/IOUs
Vibator (Whew! Nearly forgot!)
Whipped cream and chocolate sauce



Only if you have that kind of relationship with your mum.


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