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to be annoyed at this or is this normal ?

(43 Posts)
pindywop Sun 24-Aug-08 06:46:22

I was at local parade of shops yesterday with ds(6). ds started saying he was bursting for a wee. There are no public toilets near local parade of shops so I went into a restaurant (which was completely empty apart from 2 staff behind the bar) and asked politely if ds could quickly use the toilet as he was desperate.

They said no - the toilet is for customers only.

Was IBU to be really annoyed at the petty unhelpful jobsworths or were they being perfectly reasonable.

posieflump Sun 24-Aug-08 08:10:37

it would have been kind of them to let him use it!

GordonTheGopher Sun 24-Aug-08 08:19:03

I thought that was illegal now to refuse, or is that just pubs? Either way it was nasty.

Gobbledigook Sun 24-Aug-08 08:23:36

I think it's out of order to refuse a child the use of a toilet. Whenever I've been in that situation it's not been a problem.

AbbeyA Sun 24-Aug-08 08:41:54

Next time just rush past and say over your shoulder that you are taking ds to the toilet. They can then complain on your way out and you can say that you were very sorry but he was desperate, and walk out.

LittleBella Sun 24-Aug-08 08:45:20

I think it's become more normal to be nasty to children. A few years ago when DS was 2, a charity shop manager - note charity shop manager - refused to let him use the loo on the grounds that she didn't have insurance to do so.

I'd never realised going to the loo was so very dangerous...

makeminealargeoneplease Sun 24-Aug-08 08:47:40

YANBU, don't ask just go for it.
Would have been funny to let DS pee outside on their window instead! Imagine their faces...shockshockshock

pindywop Sun 24-Aug-08 08:58:27

I am glad I am justified to feel angry.

I am going to write to the local paper and name and shame as I think they were really mean, especially as their poxy restaurant was completely empty.

JuneBugJen Sun 24-Aug-08 08:59:18

Think I would have let him wee on their front step. And perhaps persuaded him to embark on an no.2 as well.. grin

AbbeyA Sun 24-Aug-08 09:04:16

Name and shame-they deserve it.
I am sure that I read somewhere that there was a lack of public loos and cafes and restaurants should allow the general public into their facilities.
I would also write to the manager telling him that he has lost a potential customer and you will be advising friends not to go to an establishment that can't make an exception for a desperate child.

mrsruffallo Sun 24-Aug-08 09:09:25


JuneBugJen Sun 24-Aug-08 09:11:19

well done AbbeyA, def inform manager. After all, a mum is also a potential customer. And the net of mums who you can inform about this can be very wide indeed.

Isn't there some odd fact that a positive comment about a place is said to 7 people but a negative one is about 20 people?

MaryAnnSingleton Sun 24-Aug-08 09:12:04

YANBU - if a perfectly capable adult asked then fair enough, but children..tsk

AbbeyA Sun 24-Aug-08 09:40:26

Often the manager is unaware of what the staff are doing and should be made aware. They don't like anything that damages customer relations. Letting a DC go to the toilet is a small price to pay for being known as friendly and helpful.

AlistairSim Sun 24-Aug-08 09:44:22

If your dc needs the loo when out, head for Waitrose.
They are kindness personified, ime, and will rush you to the staff loos.

TheHedgeWitch Sun 24-Aug-08 09:49:58

Message withdrawn

JulesJules Sun 24-Aug-08 09:54:29

Obviously it would have been nice for them to let you use the loos, and they were being a bit jobsworth.
Please bear in mind, though, many people really abuse this. I used to work in a bookshop where people were always asking to use the loos (these were staff loos btw) and often left them in a terrible state - wee, poo on the floor and walls, blocked with loo rolls, stealing loorolls, cleaning materials, towels etc. Eventually we had a policy of not letting people use them, although in practise we would let pg women and accompanied children in.

birdinatent Sun 24-Aug-08 10:11:09

you should have let him wee in the gutter outside the window, thats what I would have done grin

birdinatent Sun 24-Aug-08 10:12:16

Oh sorry didnt read all the thread, someone else already said that. At least I am not on my own smile

chipmonkey Sun 24-Aug-08 10:36:14

I am not ignoring birdinatent!grin

onebatmother Sun 24-Aug-08 10:56:33

I did let ds pee to the side of the shopfront of a comic shop that wouldn't let him use the loo shockgrin And I told them what I was going to do..

pollyblue Sun 24-Aug-08 11:24:47

I used to work in a restaurant and would get miffed if people came in to use the loo when we were busy without asking, especially as there were public loos on the other side of the road.
However if anyone asked then ok, no problem and we would never have refused to let a child go.
You asked politely, they should've used their common sense and let him go.

ChukkyPig Sun 24-Aug-08 11:41:15

I always ask if I need to go when out, on the basis that if lots of people just rush in all the time without asking then places will start saying no.

YANBU though they were really mean, possibly even evil.

Are you going to name and shame on here?

Jux Sun 24-Aug-08 11:57:07

I thought it was illegal to refuse use of toilet to gen pub; also to refuse to give a glass of tap water if requested!

I got caught short in our local dvd shop; the woman was lovely and I'm sure I didn't need to be as apologetic about it as I was. If she's here - thank you.

lojoesmammy Sun 24-Aug-08 12:11:36

I have a cousin who was refused the use of a loo in a pub, (mind you he was in bright orange and filthy works clothes, btw it was 3am in London, he works nights) so went down a very tiny alley and tried to pee descreatly hmm. He got caught by the police, and fined £80. The police told him that NO public building (Pub/Hotel/Shop) are allowed to refuse you the use of a lav.
We still thought he was a dirty minger and took the mick out of him for months afterwards.

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