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to just not want to go to this party and how do I decline?

(62 Posts)
troubledfriend Sat 23-Aug-08 22:57:13

Quite a good friend from a while back - don't see her much these days.Really great girl.

Gets married in Barbados next month and having a party in the village hall on their return.

I don't want to go.

Should I feel obliged to go?

SHould I make an excuse not to go?
I would hate to hurt her feelings if she discovered I just did not want to go.

WaynettaSlob Sat 23-Aug-08 22:59:45

You say she was a good friend and you appear to like her. Why on earth don't you want to go?

PinkTulips Sat 23-Aug-08 23:00:04

why don't you want to go exactly? [nosy]

i'd leave it til much closer and see what my mood was then and if i still didn't want to invent some catastrophy that prevented me going... projectile vomiting child or something

bluefox Sat 23-Aug-08 23:00:27

Is there any particular reason why you dont want to go?

snice Sat 23-Aug-08 23:00:58

Depends if you ever want to have a friendship with this person again I suppose-you don't turn up=end of friendship unless you have very good excuse.

MsHighwater Sat 23-Aug-08 23:01:34

Maybe it depends on why you don't want to go?

If you really don't want to go and you really don't want to hurt her feelings, you have to come up with a "prior" engagement. Which you probably actually have to go on to avoid the risk of being caught out.

troubledfriend Sat 23-Aug-08 23:05:30

thank you all so far.

Reasons for not wanting to go:

It's saint and sinners fancy dress
I won't know anyone else at all
My dh is grumpy and unsociable.
Precious use of limited babysitting offfers

None of the above would normally put me off but I am currently feeling quite low and the thought of it fills me with the opposite of joy and I have a general feeling life is too short to do things you really don't want to do ( not counting stuff like feeding your kids !)

snice Sat 23-Aug-08 23:08:30

If its f-ing fancy dress you have my permission to dip out wink

WaynettaSlob Sat 23-Aug-08 23:08:55

Would it not be good to get dressed up and have a good night out with your DH, and catch up with old friends?
I know you say you don't want to go, but it could be one of those things that turns out to be just what the doctor ordered.

troubledfriend Sat 23-Aug-08 23:09:12

Normally I love fancy dress but not this themed stuff!

Mutt Sat 23-Aug-08 23:10:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

freshayrshire Sat 23-Aug-08 23:19:17

Fancy dress, eek. I'd make up a prior engagement now - if you leave it 'til nearer the time, they'll have included you in numbers for catering etc

troubledfriend Sat 23-Aug-08 23:20:31

ok who can come up with a good excuse for me ?

Dropdeadfred Sat 23-Aug-08 23:27:07

you are busy already????

freshayrshire Sat 23-Aug-08 23:32:47

Your saint outfit is worn out from over-use?

sallystrawberry Sat 23-Aug-08 23:36:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mazzystar Sat 23-Aug-08 23:36:59

until you said fancy dress I was thinking "you miserable bugger"

all other reasons irrelevant

"oh I am so sorry we are going away that weekend"

alicet Sun 24-Aug-08 14:55:30

I would just say that you can't get babysitters but you hope she has a fantastic time and you look forward to seeing the photos

BCNS Sun 24-Aug-08 15:02:48

I would go for the.. thank you so much for the invite.. I'm very sorry but I won't be able to attend.. but wishing you the very best and hope that you have a great time... thinking of you . and then send some flowers

BroccoliSpears Sun 24-Aug-08 15:07:05

I think you should invent a prior engagement rather than say you can't get a sitter. When lying to get out of doing something, never offer a reason the host can 'fix.

You: We've no babysitter
Her: Oh well bring the children!

You: We've got people staying that weekend
Her: Bring them!

You: I've broken my leg
Her: My new husband is a world famous orthopaedic surgeon with magic powers!

Say you're going away for the weekend.

AbbaFan Sun 24-Aug-08 15:09:55

Don't say you'll go and then back out last minute - that is so unfair on the host.

Tell her now that your not going. Say no babysitter or already busy.

YANBU - I wouldn't want to go either.

beanieb Sun 24-Aug-08 16:54:49

couldn't you leave your husband at home with the kids? That takes 2 of the reasons off your list.

s fancy dress compulsory?

On the other hand, I know what you feel like and if you just don't want to go then make an excuse.

pamelat Mon 25-Aug-08 08:41:58

Yep leave DH at home and find a 'fun' friend to take along with you - you might enjoy it?

AbbeyA Mon 25-Aug-08 08:53:12

I should just think up a prior engagement and make you excuses.

AbbeyA Mon 25-Aug-08 08:53:53

I should proof read! Your excuses.

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