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To think my side of the family don't know how to have a good time and a bit of fun?

(12 Posts)
G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 15:18:24

DPs side of the family always have bbqs, parties, meals out, gatherings at each others houses at the weekends, a drink (some more than others), meet up at the pub, go for weekends away, go to the pantomines etc.

Mine never do anything.

I asked mum to put a bbq on tonight and she normally says no but this time she is, low key. I just wanted us to have a drink, sit round the chiminea, eat bbq food. My sister isn't coming because she doesn't want to mess up her baby's routine. Then dad decides it's getting overcast so he might not bother.

I've only been begging all summer for us to do something as a family, and we're staying with them this week (last night's our last night).

My sister dais if they put one on tomorrow afternoon she can come with DH and the kids. Mum tells me it's one or the other. So I said 'well we havn't done anything all summer so why not do a little one tonight and a bigger one tomorrow?' and she goes 'No! I havn't got time to be sitting round having bbqs when there's things to be done.'

She doesn't work, dad does full time. But they never let their hair down anymore. Used to all the time. She's always more worried that she should be sorting the gardening out or cleaning up and stuff, but they seem to just talk about doing the work and don't. Then they never have a good time.

How frustrating.

G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 15:20:32

Also, I help out with some bits but can't all because I'm doing my PGCE work and looking after baby.

Yet they've gone on about what they WANT to do all summer. Mostly bbqs! Havn't done 1!

maidamess Sat 23-Aug-08 15:20:47

If it makes you feel any better, my family is just the same.

My Mums idea of a spiffing time is for us all to sit round there in her stuffy sitting room (with the curtains drawn) eating fatty pastry snacks and watching the children play.

You can't change your family. You can only change how you react to them.

Sounds like you are going to have to get your good times with your dp's family, and just get what you can from yours.

Shitehawk Sat 23-Aug-08 15:21:34

One person's idea of a good time is another person's idea of hell.

You can't force anyone to do things they don't want, and you certainly can't force them into thinking that your way of having fun is the only way there is.

You want a BBQ putting on, you put it on.

G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 15:22:03

Which is such a shame as my family are actually lovely people who'd do anything for anyone (except have fun) and DPs family are bloody nutty and weird lol

maidamess Sat 23-Aug-08 15:23:33

Perhaps you can find something your lot can do together, that isn't a BBQ, I don't know , go bowling or something, or for a walk in the park. Then someone doesn't feel they are doing everything.

G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 15:23:54

We don't have a garden, just a pokey little yard. But we have offered to get the food, and actually do the bbq here. All they have to do is sit round outside rather than inside.

They do like doing these things, they just never ever do them beause they're 'so busy' thinking about things they should be doing.

G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 15:28:48

Maid- Anything is no. Or 'we'll see' and then 'no'.

I just don't get it!!

I keep saying 'on your death bed will you look back and go thank God I spent every weekend cleaning up or thank God I have such a lot of lovely memories with my kids and grandkids'.

mumeeee Sat 23-Aug-08 17:30:02

Why don't you arrange something.

LucyJones Sat 23-Aug-08 17:32:22

if you keep saying that is it any wonder they're not that keen on doing what you what
why can't you all go out for a nice Sunday lunch which doesn't involve your mum clearing up after a BBQ?!

G2B Sat 23-Aug-08 19:54:19

We do the cleaning up. They don't want to go anywhere or do anything so we've given up. Going to a party with DPs family tonight now anyway woop woop. Can't wait smile

pamelat Sat 23-Aug-08 19:56:00

Some adults are in more of a routine than any baby .. !

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