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to be seriously peeved that my dh has been to look at the car belonging to the biggest knob I know.

(9 Posts)
IRockThePartyThatRocksTheParty Fri 22-Aug-08 22:10:50

Background- Dh was friends with knob. Knob tried to openly ruin our marriage by wittering in dh's ear about me sometimes when dh was on the phone to me,telling him to leave me when I was pg because he should be free to live the bachelor lifestyle(he was married before and had divorced and got into a routine of going out with said knob which dwindled anyway after the birth of our child), calling our house at all hours of the night, coming round at 11pm onwards with his wife when I was pregnant and keeping dh out all night etc

Dh is easily led to the point where he just does whatever anyone says, its ridiculous.
He cut contact with knob after knob kept texting and ringing the home phone one night when dh had been on a night shift and was tired and could not sleep because of it.
I was relieved tbh as he made our relationship difficult.

Fast forward a couple of years and knob called dh up to look at his car and dh went running like a puppy to him saying 'ah well it was ages ago' but I feel betrayed in some way.
I duly asked him how they were etc and if they enquired about us but apparently they only asked about the dog ffs and not his kids.

The knob is a nasty man, belittled his wife in front of us, talked about me like I was shit on his shoe and is a leering piss head.

I dislike him but he was/is dh's friend.

AIBU to say please don't see him again as our marriage suffers because you are not man enough to stand up for me when he puts me down or say no when he wants you to stay out in a sleazy b&b all night etc?

cupcakesinthesnow Fri 22-Aug-08 22:15:54

If your marriage genuniely suffers from this friendship (although I use the term loosely as a true friend would not treat a friends wife in this manner) then you are certainly NOT being unreasonable.

I imagine as he belittles his own wife he sees it as fair game to belittle you. He so9unds ike a very nasty little man. I hope your husband sees the light and drops him.

pointydog Fri 22-Aug-08 22:19:02

rofl at thread title! Most excellent.

However, your post has a serious tone. I don't think you should lay down the rules about who your dh is friends with, even though your dh does sound disappointingly unable to stand up for you and his family.

My first step would be to let him see this nob if he wanted but I would make it clear I did not want to hear about him and that I most definitly did not ever want to meet him. Dh does his thing, but you also do yours.

IRockThePartyThatRocksTheParty Fri 22-Aug-08 22:19:26

I can give as good as I get to that prick if needs be but it's my dh's lack of support and laid-backness about knob's attitude that winds me up and causes tension.

ronshar Fri 22-Aug-08 22:21:46

It sounds like the name you have given him sums it all up nicely!

YANBU. If this man is a destructive influence in your relationship then he should be removed from it. I would make it clear to your DH, without giving a him or me senario, that you cannot tolerate his knob mate in your lives again.

I had a similar situation a few years ago. Luckily for me my knob grew up and found him self a proper girlfriend and so removed alot of the problems from my doorstep.

Goodluck with the knob removalsmile.

IRockThePartyThatRocksTheParty Fri 22-Aug-08 22:22:16

Ah pointy, if only I could just be oblivious to it all that might work.
I would not tolerate any of my friends or family speaking to my husband like that which is why it shocks and disappoints me still.

pointydog Fri 22-Aug-08 22:27:11

I know what you mean. It is very unsatisfactory that he lets you be talked about in this way. But I don;t think the answer is to ban him from seeing the nob. That's not going to change your husband's ways.

IRockThePartyThatRocksTheParty Fri 22-Aug-08 22:31:29

I should just get rid of the husband instead and save the impending headaches!

ronshar Fri 22-Aug-08 23:07:30

That would just give you a whole new set of headaches insteadsmile

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