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for not wanting to give some vouchers to someone whose twins are due any day now?

(11 Posts)
Luce2006 Fri 22-Aug-08 10:00:11

well, here it goes.
Last November I decided to enter my ds into the Supersmiler competition regardless of my dp not wanting me to do so.
My ds was fortunate enough to be one of the finalists and in March we got our vouchers for a years supply of nappies. Because I was thinking to potty train him during the summer, I gave quite a lot away to close friends who had just had their second child and to my brother who's just had his first baby. Now, potty training didn't happened because he wasn't interest at all and I am now looking to another winter with him in nappies until next summer when it's warm and I can start potty training him again.
Now, one of my dp's freinds from Uni is expecting twins and when I asked my dp if he had bought him a small present he replied with :"No,because I was thinking to give them some of the vouchers" hmm I don't think so., was my reply.
What buggers me in the first instance is that he thought that entering the competition was a waste of time and then that without even consulting me he decided that he was going to give them some vouchers angry
I don't work and in our household we've come to the agreement that dp looks after the big bills ( rent,general bills etc) while I pay for other stuff ( weekly shopping, baby related stuff etc and my dp doesn't pass me anything). Now, I was fortunate enough to be able to put aside some money before ds' birth but that money is now getting less and less and with things costing so much every penny saved is a good thing!!!And becuase of my savings drying up I have now decided to get back to work.
So, do you too think,like my dp does, that I am just a heartless b@@@h for not wanting to give away some voucher to someone I see once a year?( by the way I got 10 left out of 30 I originally got)

bubblagirl Fri 22-Aug-08 11:02:02

no i dont think your being unreasonable as you will need them maybe if any left you can pass them on at later date if not needed

ConnorTraceptive Fri 22-Aug-08 11:07:49

You aren't being unreasonable but you really don't need to wait til summer to try potty training again. If they are ready they are ready. We did ds1 in february after a number of failed tries and it only took a week

Jodyray Fri 22-Aug-08 11:12:57

No not at all what is the point in giving something away that you still need?! He probably suggested it as its easier for him than trying to get a small gift!!

chapstickchick Fri 22-Aug-08 11:13:10

those vouchers would sell on ebay u know grin

Flibbertyjibbet Fri 22-Aug-08 11:27:26

Agree with ConnorT, you don't need to wait till summer to potty train. I did ds1 in the winter cos thats when he was ready.
If DP is going to spend money on a present for these twins then you may as well give a voucher as the money he spends on a pressie may be more than the value of a voucher.
If you've been giving them away to other people then DP must think that you just give them away to people with babies.
But tell DP that you now think you should not have given the vouchers away that you did, and that you don't want to give any more away till your own son is potty trained.

rookiemater Fri 22-Aug-08 11:40:32

I think the issue is more around the way your finances are split rather than the voucher.

The reason you are annoyed is because nappies come out of your money, and atm you don't have any because you don't get paid for looking after your own baby. This strikes me as unfair and devisive. Surely it would be better to have a joint account rather than being split in this way.

TheProvincialLady Fri 22-Aug-08 12:00:28

I agree with rookie. Your financial arrangement seems very odd to me. If you have no income what are you using to keep your family in food etc except savings and presumably child benefit? Is your partner saving the equivelant money for your family or is he spending it on other things? I would not tolerate an arrangement like this personally.

Regarding the vouchers - they are not your DH to promise away to someone else. You won them as a prize. Explain why you need them and tell him to take the present money out of his own cash supply rather than eating away at your limited meanssad

elkiedee Fri 22-Aug-08 12:00:41

No, you're not unreasonable. Tell him you think that you'll still need the vouchers. Also, he doesn't even know that those particular vouchers will be useful to these friends, does he? What if they plan to use a different sort of nappy? I suspect he's thinking of an easy option rather than the money, he might save, he probably doesn't feel confident about choosing an appropriate pressie.

Luce2006 Fri 22-Aug-08 14:59:19

TheprovincialLady and rookie: the money I've been using for the past 2 years has been coming straight from my savings.I've got just over 3000 left now that's why I've decided to go back to work.
We defo need to talk about our financial agreements...

Thanks for your replies girls! I'm feeling better now, I was starting to think that i really was unreasonable. I had no problems in giving some away to my friends at first because I thought that by the end of the summer ds was going to be potty trained but that hasn't happened and because I've only got 10 left, I don't want to just give them to people I don't talk or see because dp can't be arsed to go out and fork out some money for the present ( by the way,he wanted to give them 4 vouchers!! shock)

Flibbertyjibbet Fri 22-Aug-08 17:52:46

Yes you do need to talk about money.
Your husband has let you buy the groceries each week out of your savings?
And you speak of the savings as yours, not as family savings.
OMG i think the nappy voucher issue is the tip of a very very large iceberg. What if you want another baby but have no savings left?

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