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In wanting my brother to pay the same amount as me and my sister.....

(13 Posts)
dilemma456 Thu 21-Aug-08 14:50:43

Message withdrawn

Uriel Thu 21-Aug-08 14:52:04


Tortington Thu 21-Aug-08 14:53:41

you can't - cancel it and tell mum why

yopur brothersmightn't be being a cunt - he genuinely might me in financial dire straights.

if he cant he cant

cancel and take her out for a meal

PinkChick Thu 21-Aug-08 14:54:04

i would do what you can between you and your sister if poss and tell you brother to but the money in a card instead, that way hes shown to be the cheapskate he is!

if you're all in same boat financially there is no reason for him to do this unless he's serioulsy skint b'cos of debt brother did similar!

RubySlippers Thu 21-Aug-08 14:55:19

i can see why you might be peeved but i think YABU

you can never really have a clear idea of anyone's financial situation

when i was on Mat Leave and not working money was hugely tight

may be the same for your brother?

however, i think your DB shouldn't assume you will top it up

perhaps you can reduce the quote a little bit or change your plans to something affordable for you all

Dropdeadfred Thu 21-Aug-08 14:57:00

I would ask him to tell your mum that she can't have a party as money is tight...

Perhaps you could just invite people to a restaurant instead (where they pay for themselves) or could you hire a hall and cater yourseles ( M & S or Waitrose do amzing party food you an order in advance ad collect the day of the party).

lulumama Thu 21-Aug-08 14:57:30

agree with ruby

he might have all sorts of outgoings that you don;t know about

dd you decide to go for the WI without discussing it with both siblings? not fair if you organised and booked it without checking with him first having presumed he can pay

dilemma456 Thu 21-Aug-08 14:58:25

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Dropdeadfred Thu 21-Aug-08 14:59:59

Ask him if hewould like to pay you back in instalemts over 6 mnths or so?

lulumama Thu 21-Aug-08 15:00:20

i see.

well,if he has 'form' in not paying his fair share, then perhaps you should not have presumed this time he would cough up?

but he should have made provision if possible, from 8 weeks ago, to ensure that he could pay

but then he might have ongoing financial worries and is too embarassed to say, hence not paying up in the past

agree that perhaps using M&S or waitrose food in a hall or using your own home might be better

if you can;t afford it , and will begrudge paying more, it will take the fun out of it

Uriel Thu 21-Aug-08 15:01:13

If agreed to the booking, then he should pay his fair share.

For all he knows the op may have debts/outgoings that are not obvious to him.

Op shouldn't have to bankroll her brother.

dal21 Thu 21-Aug-08 15:20:41

YANBU, but then neither is he TBH

totally agree that he really shouldn't have said that he would pay it then back out. But with the current economic climate - I think he is well within his rights to back out of non essential expenditure if he cannot afford it. If things are tight (which with a 4 month old I can well imagine they may well be), then he is actually being sensible surely?

Cancel the party in the WI and host at home.

LIZS Thu 21-Aug-08 15:33:56

can you not scale it down so his 20% amount becomes an even 1/3 share - fewer people, do mroe yourselves, simplify ?

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