Irrational fears about ex-H taking children away for the weekend

[electra]

So I know the answer to this is yes...

Ex-h is taking my dd's to S Wales for the bank holiday weekend. I feel worried about letting them go. Does anyone else get fears like this? Dd1 is autistic but generally adapts fine to different situations. I suppose I shouldn't be unhappy about them spending time with the other side of their family.

But I'm still worried about them.

[Cosette]

YANBU - I think it's normal to be worried about having them away from you - whilst recognising it's necessary.

I get the same feeling when I send my DDs off to my exh - they're now 13 and 11 and have been going for 10 years now! Same with school trips etc - always glad to have them back home.

Mind you, I do also look forward to them going sometimes too - nice to have a bit more time!

[electra]

Thanks, I'm glad it's not just me. They haven't been away like this before. I think they are looking forward to it and I do recognise that it would be unreasonable for me to stop them going.

[Cosette]

Yes, and it does get easier. Plus you will find it quite good to have some time to catch up on things. Try schedule something as a treat - lunch with a friend, shopping - or just a nice bath with a book - things you might not usually get time to do.

I now find I sort of look forward to them being away whilst missing them at the same time iykwim. I am able to ring them every night though - just for 1 min to say hi, and I find that helps, knowing they're back at xH's house from wherever they've been for the day.

[electra]

Thanks Cosette

[feedmenow]

I think you're being pretty normal!

It's difficult to let them go and to allow other people to accept reposnsibility for them. Try and keep busy yourself so that you don't spend the whole time dwelling and worrying.

[AbbeyA]

I haven't had to do it but I imagine that I would feel exactly like you. I think Cosette has excellent advice.

[LongLiveCuckoo]

No I don't blame you. I know how my x's mind works. Even though he contributes nothing to their upbringing with me, he would say things to them like, right who fancies coming to live with daddy for ever and we can go to disneyworld/?