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to be incandescent about new au pair allowing dd(10) to watch totally unsuitable film?

(42 Posts)
jura Wed 20-Aug-08 23:11:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jura Wed 20-Aug-08 23:13:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aGalChangedHerName Wed 20-Aug-08 23:17:29

I wouldn't have let my my ds's watch it when they were 10. More guidance/rules needed perhaps??

Bit worrying that she thought it suitable tho? How old is she?

SqueakyPop Wed 20-Aug-08 23:17:44

Does she understand the ratings system? Was the rating displayed at the start of the film?

Different cultures have much more liberal attitudes to sex in the media - she may not realise that we a bit more conservative.

Tittybangbang Wed 20-Aug-08 23:17:45

What - you are worried about your 10 year old seeing a flash of Brook Sheild's pancake like breasts? Seriously?

And a bit of snogging in soft focus?

I'm flabberghasted.

Violence is one thing as is explicit adult sex or sexual violence. But Blue Lagoon?

Purleese! You are totally over reacting.

QuintessentialShadows Wed 20-Aug-08 23:18:34

Jura, where is she from?
How old is she?

All the girls in my class had seen Blue Lagoon between 10-12 years old....

It also took me a while to get to grips with UK meals... Could it be a confusion regards to what things are called? Lunch is lunch, but Tea is also lunch here iyswim, whilst dinner is Actually Tea, and supper is evening meal.

jura Wed 20-Aug-08 23:26:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore Wed 20-Aug-08 23:27:49

QS dont worry about getting confused over uk meals im from the uk and i get confused. in N.E we have breakfast, dinner and tea. supper is just a snack before bed.

only posh people have lunch and dinner in the evening wink

wrt blue lagoon i seem to recall watching it with my parents when i was very young. young enough to remember being embarrassed about watching a naked brooke sheilds in front of my father anyway. thats why i remember it. it did me no harm. i wouldnt worry about it just ask her to check with you first next time and explain the ratings to her.

my babysitters let me watch basic instinct when i was 12 shock they also told me that one of their male friends thought i was sexy hmm apparently he thought i was 15 or 16 they were 17! so blue lagoon imo is not worth having a tizzy about smile

MadameCheese Wed 20-Aug-08 23:31:08

Slightly different subject but I was allowed by my parents to watch "The Thing" (an 18) at the age of 10 and it made me think something was going to rip out of my teddy. Mmmmm, nice!

PinkTulips Wed 20-Aug-08 23:31:43

i don't know the rest of the saga and by the sound of it there's more to it but imo seeing 'discreet' sex in a movie isn't going to damage them. if they don't know the facts of life they'll think their cuddling and if they do then what's the damage?

that said my parents were always fairly lenient, my mom used to bring me to see james bond movies in the cinema from 9 years old grin

will read the other thread now as i'm intrigued!

nappyaddict Wed 20-Aug-08 23:34:55

i don't think it's a huge deal. just tell ap in future if a film is not a pg then she must check with you first.

ghosty Wed 20-Aug-08 23:39:39

regardless of the actual film it is the rating that is the issue. A 15 rating should surely be passed by the parents first ... I would be cross too and YANBU.

gooseegg Wed 20-Aug-08 23:41:49

I think your dh is overreacting.

Could his reaction be influenced by your au pair's apparent incompetence in other areas, and be a final straw type fury?

Explaining about suitability and ratings is obviously necessary.

If it were to happen again with any other media that you as parents deem to be unsuitable (and it's perfectly reasonable for you to decide what is or isn't suitable for your dd) THEN I would say you and your dh would be right to be furious.

Tinker Wed 20-Aug-08 23:42:28

Don't know rest of saga either but you don't really have to know much about kids to be an au pair do you? I guess it just wouldn't have occurred to her that this might be an issue. I wouldn't be livid. Not seen Blue Lagoon but I'm guessing it's fairly tame.

minorityrules Wed 20-Aug-08 23:49:10

In sweden it is rated an 11, most other countries have it as a 13, so maybe aupair thought it was ok?

Quattrocento Wed 20-Aug-08 23:54:55

Jura, would you do me the biggest favour and mail me your house rules? I created a set of my own and they are woefully inadequate. New aupair starting soon.

Wobbles about new ap here as well. She was supposed to start a week ago then mailed to say she couldn't start until 12 Sep!! Which is a PITA because of work commitments etc not to mention school ... And also she doesn't want to start a language course until January but the college won't take them unless they start in September ...

jura Wed 20-Aug-08 23:55:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quattrocento Wed 20-Aug-08 23:56:31

Oh and btw I would be furious about that as well. We've had the birds and the bees conversations but I explained very carefully that sex was only with someone you loved and definitely not to be experimented with before the age of 30 ...

Quattrocento Wed 20-Aug-08 23:57:18

Oh thx lots .. v grateful

expatinscotland Wed 20-Aug-08 23:58:09

what would bother me most is that it is an incredibly dumb film.

QuintessentialShadows Wed 20-Aug-08 23:59:33

My parents actually never let me watch it. Even if it was certified 11. So I have never seen it.

But I agree, YOU should chose what she sees.

Up and down Jura, up and down.

jura Thu 21-Aug-08 00:02:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zippitippitoes Thu 21-Aug-08 00:04:35

dont know the film but i wouldnt expect any knowledge of children cooking or anything else from an au pair

its very much a case of some are wonderful and some less so

as shown by expectations and hopes from posts on mn regarding young people

i think dh is over reacting

i watchd the river wild with my kids when they were 8-12 and tbh it was much worse than i realised but i didnt sack myself

Quattrocento Thu 21-Aug-08 00:20:58

Awesome rules Jura. I particularly liked the meal suggestions. Our last AP literally could not boil an egg. It is amazing that someone can get to the ripe old age of 23 and not be able to boil an egg. How is that possible? He had literally never cooked a meal in his life.

nametaken Thu 21-Aug-08 00:29:48

YANBU - Au pairs shouldn't be letting kids watch any film.

Au-pairs are paid to keep kids away from tv, computer, x-box etc etc.

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