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To contact relatives of someone who owes me money

(18 Posts)
flatbroke Tue 19-Aug-08 19:36:30

To cut a long story short I lent someone money (too much to write off). I know I was too trusting but that's the kind of person I was! The money wasn't forthcoming so I put a claim in to the courst. All was well and amicable and instalments were agreed and I was accepted that I would get it back gradually.

Then said person changed jobs and moved out of the area. 4 (out of 25) instalments were paid then nothing. Tried a friendly text reminder, no reply. Tried the electoral roll, phone book etc but drew a blank.

The only contact was a relative I know so I rang and asked if they could give me an address and thought it only fair that I explain why I need it, so I did. They too have lost touch but have said they will try to find details from other family members.

AIBU to contact them. I realise I may have lost a lot of money but don't want to let it drop until I've tried to enforce the court order. I do feel bad involving the family now.

SammyK Tue 19-Aug-08 19:42:56

If the relative has said they will help you then I wouldn't feel bad.

As for the person owing you money - you shouldn't feel any guilt towards them, they haven't paid you back, have then had a court tell them to pay you, and have now jumped ship again. God people like this make me so angry.
YANBU IMO

Hecate Tue 19-Aug-08 19:44:12

tbh, even if you contact them, i doubt the person will pay, but at least you have something to go on. can you go back to court and have baliffs or does it not work like that?

Sparkletastic Tue 19-Aug-08 19:44:30

Do anything you can - they are ripping you off and don't deserve any sympathy.

flatbroke Tue 19-Aug-08 19:52:29

I contacted the court and without an address or work details there is nothing they can do to enforce it.

At first I tried to keep it a light hearted enquiry but told the cousin in the end as I thought it was only fair. They were shocked and made it obvious that when they enquire closer to home they won't keep the reason to themselves so I suppose I felt a bit guilty that the family will now know the facts.

flimflammum Tue 19-Aug-08 20:07:55

Depending on how much money is involved it might be worth getting a private detective to help you find them. It's not as Dick Tracey as it sounds. I have a (female) friend who once worked for a PI firm phoning the family of people who owed money and claiming to be an old friend from college trying to get in touch with them again (to get their address).

I hope you get at least some of your money back. Don't feel guilty.

QuintessentialShadows Tue 19-Aug-08 20:11:37

Have you tried facebook? Or other social networking sites? Could there be any clues there as to the whereabouts of this person?

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe Tue 19-Aug-08 20:14:24

The trouble is the family member may find them, will almost certainly tell them why you are looking for them, and then they will go again.

flatbroke Tue 19-Aug-08 20:21:25

Thanks for the support and suggestions. I did think about a PI but don't want to throw good money after bad.

It is a fair amount and the instalments offered were small. Not the same as getting the whole sum back at once. However, it stopped me feeling so pissed off with myself for being so trusting. So I suppose I can somehow live without it.

It's done now and at least the close relatives will know what the person is capable of, so hasn't got off scot free. I will still keep looking on the electoral roll etc if they cannot give me details.

I don't feel guilty anymore. Moral of the story never a lender or a borrower be.

Earlybird Tue 19-Aug-08 20:22:59

No idea if this is possible - can the person be traced through a NI number?

flatbroke Tue 19-Aug-08 20:24:45

I know which town they moved to, its the other end of the country! Tried facebook. Even if they find out I've blabbed to the family I don't think the amount is significant enough to uproot again over.

flatbroke Tue 19-Aug-08 20:27:50

I have a date of birth but no NI number. They will be renting and paying council tax but its only government offices that can get these details.

If it was income tax or child support they would find them.

GrapeJelly Tue 19-Aug-08 21:33:46

I wouldn't let it drop or the scumbag will do it again to other people if s/he thinks it's so easy to get away with. No, YANBU to inform family. Running of without paying a debt is seriously bad behaviour and can't be ignored.

LittleBella Tue 19-Aug-08 21:36:57

Tell the relative that if she doesn't pay up, you will post details of what she did on the internet.

Even if you don't mean to do that, it might scare her enough to get in touch and arrange to pay you back.

Romy7 Tue 19-Aug-08 21:44:36

i found out where my xp worked and rang him there. i told the first person that answered the phone why i was calling, how much he owed me, and gave my contact phone number. i said if i hadn't heard from him within 24 hours i was going to call back and speak to his boss.

but i am a cow, and i did manage to find out where he worked.

i wouldn't let it drop. i'd ring the rellie again, and say you are sorry that they have lost touch, but you wanted to give them a week's notice that you are going back to court.

ad in the local free papers lol?
'this scumbag owes me money - do you know him?' with a po box no?

desperatehousewifetoo Tue 19-Aug-08 21:54:30

.

jennieflower Wed 20-Aug-08 14:27:19

Have you got a photo of them? I'd be tempted to set up a facebook group "joe bloggs is a thieving scumbag" and get all your friends to join it. Include details of what's happened and offer a reward for anyone who can help to track them down.

Millions of people use facebook and they might be shamed into contacting you.

flatbroke Wed 20-Aug-08 16:29:00

Yes, I have got a photo, but they were not an internet user afaik, however, plenty of new friends will be. Can you do that on facebook?

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