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to be upset that dh told me i shouldn't be naked in front of ds, 3?

(91 Posts)
ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:31:34

I don't parade around naked in front of my son, aged 3. however, if I've just had a shower and ds is around I don't cover myself up or shoo him away. I've been told this morning, as i came out of the shower and said something to dh who was playing with ds, that I shouldn't let ds see me naked, because he 'read it in the newspaper' that it is damaging. He can't actually remember who it was that said it, some bloke wrote that it damaged him seeing his mother naked, apparently. I am extremely upset, especially as he said it in front of ds. My mother was very uptight about nakedness and i didn't want to be like that. When dh's sister came she tried to prevent ds seeing me expressing milk for baby dd, and dh's father [now deceased sadly] jumped up and ran away when i once tried to breastfeed ds beside him on the couch.

Dh is now angry that I got upset with him. I feel he is trying to force me into a way of thinking that his family has, and that ds will have ishoos with my body now. Who is right please?

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:33:48

oh yes and apparently i have lost a sheet of paper from the hospital that gave me exercises to do with the baby, where i had to exercise her legs to loosen up her pelvis so she won't have problems when she gives birth hmm Please confirm this is not correct. Am fuming a bit.

DisenchantedPlusBump Sun 17-Aug-08 11:35:31

Thats ridiculous!

The kids see both me and DH naked.

its natural,

its normal.

Its your DH that has issues.

I remember seeing my mum naked and it never bothered me at all.

KerryMum Sun 17-Aug-08 11:35:36

if he was 13 I'd say your dh had a point but 3?????

tell him to get a grip.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Sun 17-Aug-08 11:35:54

They sound severely repressed.

KerryMum Sun 17-Aug-08 11:36:16

My mum and her second husband were nudists. I stayed with them once while I was in my 20s. that freaked me out a bit have to admit.

RubySlippers Sun 17-Aug-08 11:37:10

gosh - DS who is 2 sees me naked all the time

nowt wrong with it

in fact i think there is a lot right with it!

JonahTakalua Sun 17-Aug-08 11:38:33

Your DH needs to get his facts straight.
You are right.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:39:36

i am not planning on being a nudist at any time soon. i wouldn't dream of being naked around my son when he is 20. But then again the germans do it, don't they? don't seem too damaged to me. grin

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:40:43

this leaflet from the hospital, this doesn't exist, right? Apparently where dh comes from in Eastern Europe they do these exercises with the baby. I don't think they do it there either actually.

Tidgypuds Sun 17-Aug-08 11:43:55

I still dont run and cover up after a shower or getting changed infront of my DS (7) and he doesnt bat an eyelid. I think it would cause more problems scurrying away or hiding TBH.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:47:06

that is the thing, ds isnt bothered by it at all. but angry that dh said it in front of him and raised it as an issue. ds is nearly 4 and understands so much.

beanieb Sun 17-Aug-08 11:47:08

I would be very worried about the comments about the leaflet.

BreeVanderCampLGJ Sun 17-Aug-08 11:47:20

My DS (7) is just starting to be aware of nudity (his) and does not bat an eyelid at DH and I being naked after a shower.

Arbuthnot Sun 17-Aug-08 11:48:34

I have two daughters and never heard that they had to do pelvic exercises as babies in case they decide to get pregnant when they are older. Sounds truly bizarre to me!

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:49:31

worried in what what way beanieb?

beanieb Sun 17-Aug-08 11:51:47

I would be worried because I don't believe any hospital would recommend excercises for a babgirl to "loosen up her pelvis so she won't have problems when she gives birth " and I am assuming that your husband has made this up because it is something [i]he[/i] believes is necessary for girls to have done.

salsmum Sun 17-Aug-08 11:52:03

I was raised believing that sex was a dirty word because my mum was brought up that way.
My ex-hubs family were alot more open about such things I chose to bring my 2 DCs up to be more comfortable with their bodies. My son whos 23 will walk around upstairs after a shower/changing etc and my disabled daughter has to get used to carers helping her/seeing her naked so obviously has to feel comfortable with that. I'm NOT an exhibitionist and would'nt go topless on beach blush BUT my DCs have grown up to be independant, free thinking indeviduals who are also well balanced and have'nt got half as many hangups about their bodies and sex etc as I had. I would say that so long as you and DH feel comfortable letting your DCs see you naked then they will see it as perfectly natural which, of course it is.
General advice as parent..Do what you think is right grin.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:52:30

he doesn't suggest i do the exercises with the baby naked or anything, if thst was what you were thinking..hmm

beanieb Sun 17-Aug-08 11:52:40

Sorry - that should have been 'baby girl' not babgirl.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:54:20

yes beanieb, but he got very upset when i said it was a ridiculous idea. I have been to a physiotherapist in his country, and they do come out with some ridiculous things, very different to physios here, but still find it hard to believe. i think he has just got it in his brain from somewhere and refused to back down.

beanieb Sun 17-Aug-08 11:54:58

Ruty - no not at all.

I am thinking it is very odd advice for a hospital to recommend. I could understand if she had joint problems and needed some kind of regular massage or physiotherapy to treat it but the whole idea that babies need loosening up in preparation for childbirth when they are an adult is an extremely bizzare thing to believe.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 11:55:51

it is totally bizarre i agree.

LackaDAISYcal Sun 17-Aug-08 12:00:48

kids seeing nudity normalises it and makes it not an issue or something to be ashamed of imo. My DS 6 regularly sees me naked and I'm 6.5 mo pregnant and he doesn't even seem in the least bit perturbed by it. I think it encourages children to be comfortable with their own nudity and unashamed about it. I'm not talking wandering around naked but getting in and out of the shower, getting dried and dressed etc. there is advice out there but googling it can get some rather dubious results unfortunately sad

never heard of such a leaflet regarding hip exercises for girls, so you have certainly not lost it as it doesn't exist. Cannot imagine that there is any physiological advantage in doing it tbh. I would ask your HV to clarify it for him.

ruty Sun 17-Aug-08 12:04:36

yes but you see whatever i say he read that some bloke said it damaged him in the newspaper. angry
would show him this thread but he would be really upset if he knew i'd posted about it.

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