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To be annoyed with unreliable friend.

(7 Posts)
Lovemyshoes Sun 17-Aug-08 10:22:17

Friend was working till 8 last night, at 8.15 she rung to say that she was working over (I know she wasn't and sounded like she'd had a drink)she had promised before going to work to bring popcorn/chocolate home with her just after 8 so we could have movie night with my dc.

She is staying with us at present and said she would be home last night as we had all planned to go for sunday lunch today.

I waited up for a while and then went to bed, got up and she hasn't been home, there has been no phonecall/text or anything.

Am I right to be pissed off (this isn't the first time she has planned to do something and not followed through)

missingtheaction Sun 17-Aug-08 10:27:53

if she is young free and single she probably doesn't see staying in with a movie as a Date - it's just a night with nothing happening. Sadly, compared to drinks and a promise on a saturday night you and dc and Finding Nemo didn't have a chance.

If she is staying with you don't let this fester - maybe explain jokily to her that this kind of night is important to you and DC. Then you will need to decide whether to get her to committ to dates with you, or just not to make them.

lilymolly Sun 17-Aug-08 10:43:51

She should have let you know she was not coming home out of courtesy but she is still entitled to do what she wants on sat night.

Have you texted her to see if she is ok and to confirm lunch?

Just explain that whilst she can do what ever she wants she must not let you wait around for her.

Oh and if she finished work at 8pm even if she had had a drink would she really sound drunk so quickly?

Lovemyshoes Sun 17-Aug-08 10:48:19

She isn't single, she has a boyfriend who treats her like crap, she tends to spend more time here when he is being an arsehole, but when he is ok we don't see hide nor hair of her for days.

She had a drink at home before work then went into town for a couple of hours before work so she could well have topped up not long after.

I know that she is entitled to do what she wants, but when i have done her something to eat (which has had to be thrown) and the night has been planned for a while I think she should have let us know instead of stringing us along.

staffylover Sun 17-Aug-08 11:08:24

next time she has a falling out with her boyfriend just tell her she can`t stay with staying

solidgoldbrass Sun 17-Aug-08 11:12:08

SHe's rather treating you like you're her mother, isn't she? Your best bet is probably (as is always the case with unreliable people) don't make arrangements with her that are going to matter or cause upset if she doesn't fulfill them. Plan your own night in, for instance, tell your DC that friend might be there or might not. and either get takeaways or cook something like a pasta sauce that the leftovers can just be frozen. Don't put yourself out for her, and if she queries it, just say (nicely) Well we never know if you're going to be here or not, do we?

silvercrown Sun 17-Aug-08 15:32:14

If she makes arrangements with you she should stick to them - it's simply rude not to. If she wanted to change her plans then she should call and apologise. If she's staying with you then she's treating you very badly to not even come home at all as she knows that you will find out. She doesn't value your friendship very much if she treats you in this way but sadly everyone has differing opinions on how they should act and who exactly should put up with it.

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