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to think that my FIL would talk to me in my own house?

(21 Posts)
wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 17:45:57

FIL and his wife have popped in for a few hours. We have a history of not getting on, but things have been 'ok' for about a year now.
We now live a long way from them but they were passing on the way home from staying with another relative.
They have been here nearly three hours, during which FIL hasn't said one word to me. He has stared fixedly at the TV (DS is watching a Brum DVD) for most of the time. When the TV has been off he has sat with his eyes closed while his wife and I make small-talk.
DH ignored my suggestion of a take-away and has been cooking in the kitchen for most of the time, leaving me with his FIL, knowing we don't get along.
DS has Scarlet Fever. FIL has given DS several sips of beer. DS is 21 months old angry and I have said not to.
Aaaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh. Just had to vent steam really. Can't stand the man but I have tried, I really have, but it's like hitting my head against a brick wall. Which is what I would rather do than see him.

Oh dear, what does DH think of his fathers behaviour?

JudgeNutmeg Sat 16-Aug-08 17:48:55

I would get in the kitchen if I were you.

I have the pleasure of my nasty FIL tomorrow but at least we will be in public and there will be others to talk to.

TheArmadillo Sat 16-Aug-08 17:50:41

does he outright ignore you if you speak directly to him?

If someone can be that disrespectful to you then he shouldn't be in your home.

I appreciate he is you dh father, but your dh can visit him elsewhere.

In your home you should at least be treated with a basic respect and some manners.

Beer thing. Take it away. Tell him if he can't act like an adult (e.g. show common courtesy and not commit illegal acts in your home) then he can be treated like a child. If he doesn't like it leave.

wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 17:53:10

Oh Armadillo, you are so right. I know DH will get a mouthful on the phone later in the week for me being rude and going up to the computer, but what does he expect?
If I speak directly to him, he will reply with a one-word answer.
Bigknickers, DH doesn't defend his father, but is trying to keep the peace IYKWIM.
BIL should be here soon (should have been here an hour ago, but no doubt there was a pub on the way to distract him) and that makes it easier.
I'm going to do down and drink lots of wine very quickly.

wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 17:53:50

It was so much easier when I lived with a Kiwi as his parents were the other side of the world. grin

squeaver Sat 16-Aug-08 17:57:18

I'd get in the kitchen and take over from your dh pronto. He's his father - he should take responsibility for making conversation with him.

KnickersOnMaHead Sat 16-Aug-08 18:23:54

Message withdrawn

nametaken Sat 16-Aug-08 18:30:25

LOL at "I'm going to go down an drink lots of wine very quickly"

I always have to be drunk to spend more than 40 minutes in the presence of my FIL. He is a pig too. But I do at least get away from him into the kitchen. Do you think he thanks me for cooking him a lovely meal though?

jellybeans Sat 16-Aug-08 18:33:09

My SFIL ignores me too and MIL did for years, refused to say hello etc. DH had a word with her and she now is OK (ish) although it will probably always be strained. Luckily FIL is lovely but we don't see him much.

wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 18:36:42

Well we've eaten. And what a pleasant meal it was hmm FIL wanted to watch Keeping Up Appearances so it was on VERY loud. I felt like I couldn't say anything.
At least BIL is here now, and he came armed with lots of cans of beer.
And, as I was trying to feed DS (or rather, ensure that he ate rather than make a mashed potato mountain!), FIL kept leaning over to feel his head, and kept telling me DS has a temperature. I KNOW! HE HAS SCARLET FEVER YOU STUPID MAN.

pagwatch Sat 16-Aug-08 19:09:22

well at least when he is telling you that ds has a fever he has to talk to you grin
my FIL was like this but my DH caught on really quickly and would never leave me alone with him.
We actually don't see him at all now so no longer a problem.

olyoly Sat 16-Aug-08 19:22:57

There is still time. Put eye drops in his brandy and give him a big kiss goodbye.

bohemianbint Sat 16-Aug-08 19:25:40

Mine doesn't speak to me either. Is yours being an arsey get, or is he (like mine) just a social idiot?

Mine never says hello, or goodbye, or anything in between. DH has often had to say "are you going to say hello to BB?!", like as if he's 2. Which, socially, he may as well be.

BouncingTurtle Sat 16-Aug-08 19:28:08

watulookinat - wanna swap? My FIL drives me up the wall because he won't stop talking - just witters on a bout something he will have already told us about 10 times aggghhhh!! Think I'd prefer the silent treatment lol
But have to admit I woudn't be keen about him trying to give 7mo ds beer shock

blueskythinker Sat 16-Aug-08 20:07:26

Well, he sounds like an arse. Keep drinking wine.

wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 21:04:29

They have gone now, thank god. Copious amounts of wine meant that I may have made one or two bitchy comments while DH was out of the room. Hopefully I won't have to see them for ages now. I can't stand them. Arrggghhh.
At least it's not just me with nightmare in-laws grin

Twiglett Sat 16-Aug-08 21:05:59

you could point out it's actually illegal to give a child under 5 alcohol ..even in your own home

wotulookinat Sat 16-Aug-08 21:07:32

shock I am going to have a strong word with DH about tomorrow (ie when he isn't drunk!) - his father is an ex-policeman as well. I'm sure he only did it to upset me - DH wasn't in the room at the time.

hiccymapops Sat 16-Aug-08 22:08:20

Oh Wot, thank god they've gone. That was the last thing you needed today angry Definately have a word with DH tomorrow. I don't care who it is, you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable like that, especially in your own home. If they have to visit again, get your bum round here grin

wotulookinat Sun 17-Aug-08 09:12:40

Thanks Hiccy - I certainly shall!

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