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AIBU?

if at 40 weeks pregnant I want to be an antisocial, bad tempered old cow?

33 replies

bohemianbint · 15/08/2008 18:43

Will be 40 wks on Sunday. Am huge, knackered, immobile, grouchy and fed up. I already have a 2 year old who I looking after a by myself full time in the week, which is why I love the weekends; DH is fab and loves spending time with DS so I can get some time to chill.

Thing is, tomorrow we have friends coming over to show us their new baby (rub it in why don't you!) and they'll be bringing their 2.5 year old as well. I really like them, but I just can't be arsed being all entertainy while our 2 boys rip the house up and I'm supposed to be all gooey about a new baby.

I also have a friend who wants to come and stay at the end of the month. I love her to bits too, but not sure at what stage this baby's going to show up, and whilst it sounded like a good idea when she first mentioned it, am now getting the fear as don't want to be hostessy when have just popped, want to spend all my non existent spare time sleeeeeeeeping if at all possible, or chilling with my new baby, DH and DS.

Also - the bloody text message and phone calls, all the time...."are you still pregnant?!!"....with massive shock, although am not even due til Sunday, and could in theory be another 2 weeks...

I know. Am being a bit of a bag. They all mean well and all. But all I want to do is lie in bed, read magazines and eat chocolate by myself. Not have the same conversation over and over again:

"oh you must be fed up now!
"are you sure it's not twins"
"have you got any names yet"

etc etc ad nauseum.

AIBU?

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LittleMyDancingForJoy · 15/08/2008 18:46

No, YABU - I remember that feeling very well. My doula called it 'going into your cave', like a primeval person finding somewhere private to give birth.

turn your mobile off. don't answer the phone. watch TV as much as possible.

are your friends coming from far away? can you put them off for a week or two, or are they making a special trip?

this is a time in your life in which you get to be totally unreasonable and get away with it, IMO.

and tell your friend who's coming to stay that you'd like to confirm nearer the time, as you don't know what's going to happen with the baby. I think that's totally reasonable.

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LittleMyDancingForJoy · 15/08/2008 18:46

Sorry, YANBU! got that totally wrong

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MarkStretch · 15/08/2008 18:47

Tell them all to piss off. Lock your front door and switch your phone off. You can make up for it when you have had the baby and glowing with new-mum pride.

Signed an antisocial bad tempered old cow at 15 weeks.

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herbietea · 15/08/2008 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

falcon · 15/08/2008 18:48

YANBU, the last thing I'd want to do if I were so close to my due date or even in my last trimester is entertain visitors.

And this friend who wants to stay at the end of the month, I presume she wants to stay to help you out? I'd certainly hope so as the last thing a pregnant woman or one who has a new baby should be expected to do is cater to guests.

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G2B · 15/08/2008 18:49

Lol you're fine to lay in bed read magazines and eat colossal amounts of junk. That's what being 40 weeks pregnant is all about. People darn't speak to me when I was. It was a heatwave and I was sooooooooooooo unhappy and snappy and hot. I just wanted to sit on MN and ask over and over again if anyone thought when my knicker elastic snapped it was a contraction.

Enjoy your last few days doing what you like. I'm sure it must be a struggle looking after the LO you already have AND being pregnant.

Good luck and congratulations for a few days time when the next one comes along.

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psychomum5 · 15/08/2008 18:49

let them come...

have you not heard that if you cuddle a newborn when you are due, the chemicals you release over cooing the baby gets your body going.....

that is what my MIL swore on, and it worked with one of mine

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Hassled · 15/08/2008 18:49

YANBU - 9 months is one hell of a long time. Those last few weeks are awful. You have to tell the end-of-the-month visitor no - it's just plain silly. Either you will have a newborn or you will be ready to kill anyone who comes near - just cancel.

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psychomum5 · 15/08/2008 18:49

altho, once you have had the cuddle YANBU to the kick them out and be grumpy again

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NoBiggy · 15/08/2008 18:52

Sounds fairy nuff to me.

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StellaWasADiver · 15/08/2008 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bohemianbint · 15/08/2008 18:57

Oh, good good good. You've all cheered me up. Might show this to DH who I think just thinks am a nasty old witch.

Doesn't help that friends that are coming tomorrow weren't due until 2 weeks after me, and they had their baby weeks ago. And she'll be all skinny again already, whilst I'm freaking massive and need winching in and out of chairs.

I don't even want to see anyone until a good week after have popped; got invaded last time by the world and his dog (literally, even people I haven't met before) so this time I want a nice clear week to chill and adjust.

Might OD on raspberry leaf, pineapple and curry tonight to try and encourage it out - and it's a full moon tomorrow, babies like those, don't they?

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MadameCastafiore · 15/08/2008 19:03

Just text back 'Fuck Off' - you are pregnant that gives you rights you know!

And who the hell would ask to come and stay when you are just about to drop????

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BouncingTurtle · 15/08/2008 19:05

YA SOOOOOOOO NBU!

Tell them all to fark off!

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scorpio1 · 15/08/2008 19:05

Yanbu AT ALL

i went a week over and barely spoke to anyone i was so moody!!

dont know what your mate is thinking of.

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AbbaFan · 15/08/2008 19:17

YANBU of course and your feelings are completely normal.

I am so one of those people that phone though .... it's just so exciting when a close friend is about to have a baby.

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/08/2008 19:27

YANBU.

Get your dp and visitors to do all the work tomorrow.

Put your friend off who wants to stay. You don't want to have to resent her being there - even when she has the best of intentions.

Babies love a full moon - prance around naked in the garden tomorrow night - or something like that

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MKG · 15/08/2008 19:29

YANBU

Cancel your friend at the end of the month, unless she is coming to cook, clean, and be helpful, if not . . . kick her to the curb.

Keep your date with your friends. It may do you some good and lift your spirits a bit. Just order in a Pizza and say you are way to tired to entertain. I find that visits with new babies and toddlers tend to be a free-for-all anyway. Keep it relaxed and easy.

Tell your dh it will give him the opportunity to show off how loving and doting he is on you.

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fledtoscotland · 15/08/2008 19:35

YANBU. am due in 2 weeks and feel like a beached whale. I felt like this with DS and to pass the time i arrange something every day so at least my day has some structure rather than thinking my ankles are more swollen than yesterday etc etc.

am not sure about dancing naked in your garden under a full moon (depends whether you are on good terms with your neighbours)

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MrsTittleMouse · 15/08/2008 19:35

YANBU. You need to conserve all your strength and (what's left of) your energy for the weeks ahead. Please please please, put off the friend at the end of the month! And let the other family come and take you as you are - don't run around entertaining!

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bohemianbint · 15/08/2008 21:46

Thank you!

I got a text last night that said:

"Have you got anything to tell me yet?"



And I don't know what it is with people who want to visit women around/on their due dates. Same thing happened last time, only those friends wouldn't take no for an answer. I ended up having to pretend I was going into labour to get them to fuck off! (was having a home birth and they wanted to visit the week before I was due with their 3 month old who they told me "never slept".) They didn't seem to care that if I went into labour they would be in the house with me...

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mamadiva · 15/08/2008 21:54

I was pregnant at 19 and a bad tempered old cow GO FOR IT!

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LackaDAISYcal · 15/08/2008 22:08

YANBU

take the phone off the hook; switch off the mobile and enjoy a bit of nesting and lavishing a bit of attention on your DS

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cyteen · 15/08/2008 22:12

Speaking as someone who was an antisocial, bad tempered old cow even before she got pregnant, YANBU I can't even be arsed to return anyone's phone calls, let alone actually see and speak to them face to face.

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Poledra · 15/08/2008 22:24

YANBU , speaking as someone whose parents were staying to help out before arrival of dd3 (4 weeks ago ) and who even got pissed off with them - I tihnk it was the hopeful look from my mum every morning wondering if anything was happening.
Do what you want to do, not what everyone else wants.

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