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to reply 'No' when asked 'I'd bet you;d love a boy' by someone in homebase

(48 Posts)
misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:12:21

as it was said in front of all three of my girls.

angry

BlingLovin Fri 15-Aug-08 17:13:42

YANBU

RubySlippers Fri 15-Aug-08 17:14:18

people are daft aren't they

or feel they HAVE to say something when they should keep their traps shut

Janni Fri 15-Aug-08 17:14:24

Depends how you said it.

If you laughed and said 'Nah, I love my girls', it's one thing, if you snapped at the person trying to be friendly then YABU

RedHead81 Fri 15-Aug-08 17:14:44

as long as it's healthy it doesn't matter (thats what i always said)

psychomum5 Fri 15-Aug-08 17:15:57

wish plagues of biblical preportions (sp?) on them....unthinking wankers tossers oh hell, no good word for them really!!!

I got asked this all the way thro my pregnancy with DS1 (in front of my three girls too), and it somehow belittles them doesn;t it.....

and this was after I had a car accident and almost lost the baby too!!!angry

I was just wanting a baby thankyou very much, a new person to love.......not a boy 'for DH's sake' (which was what my aunt saidangry)

argh....I feel your pain.

hatrick Fri 15-Aug-08 17:15:59

Message withdrawn

n5rje Fri 15-Aug-08 17:16:37

no, not unreasonable at all - I always used to say no when asked if I wanted a girl in front of my 3 DSs. I know people probably don't mean to be rude but it always implies that what you already have isn't good enough or (and this always annoys me) that mothers don't want sons and will only be happy if they have someone to shop/plan a wedding etc with

misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:18:33

i am actually so so glad that baby#4 is a girl.

i love my girls, they are fun, yes they can be loud when all together and easily excitable. but really, i love them, and they arent any worse than any other groups of 3kids in one palce all trying to get one persons attention at once.

misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:19:47

exactly n5, i feel it makes my dd's feel like they arent good enough whenever people say 'you hoping for a boy' 'is it a boy' 'is dh disappointted by not having a boy'

arrrrrrrrrgh

hattyyellow Fri 15-Aug-08 17:21:42

I'm pregnant with my third DC which looks likely to be another girl. Am so bored of people assuming I want a boy.

Got crossest at community midwife at booking in who said "So you already have two girls, everything crossed for a boy then". I felt that was really presumptous.

NotAnOtter Fri 15-Aug-08 17:23:00

have any of you had 'poor poor you' said to you on announcing the birth of a same-sex sibling? sad

misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:25:07

not yet NAO. but will place bets on some beiong said at some point soon.

psychomum5 Fri 15-Aug-08 17:28:38

NOA....I actually found myself saying sorry to people when I gave birth to DD3blush.

one lovely lovely DH of a friend told me straight, and then I realised that I had given birth to a miracle and should be elated, not apologetic.

a baby is a miracle, and more so in your case misdee.....it is a new person to absorb your love in you family, and give 100fold back.

n5rje Fri 15-Aug-08 17:29:36

What I did find difficult was worrying that if I had had a girl (I didn't find out and it was a 4th DS) I really would have been unhappy as I know that I wouldn't be a good mother to a girl. Friends all said "you'll be fine if it is a girl, you'll just be happy its healthy" but I really don't think I would have been - has anyone else felt the same ? I'm too old for a 5th but if I wasn't the possibility of a girl would stop me from having another.

Janni Fri 15-Aug-08 17:34:05

Can I just say how much I hate the 'as long as it's healthy' retort.

What message does that send out about babies who are not born in good health? Are they automatically unwelcome??

KatieDD Fri 15-Aug-08 17:36:24

My MIL asked Dh in the delivery room if he wasn't too disappointed with his third daughter, I hate her.

LippyGobshite Fri 15-Aug-08 17:38:02

You can always say 'I bet that's the only thought to pop into your little head' or 'the only thing we're disappointed about is other people's reactions'

Having a gang of the same sex has a lot to said for it imo.

It's a bit rude to comment, really. What are people expecting you to say - 'Yes, we're gutted, it's going on ebay as soon as it's weaned'

misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:39:37

dh told someone once we were going to swop soon to be dd4 for a boy at the hospital. you should have seen the look on their faces lol.

LippyGobshite Fri 15-Aug-08 17:41:44

lol

See if you can swap her for twins in a BOGOF (B standing for burgle)

chipmonkey Fri 15-Aug-08 17:46:18

Actually misdee, if you are up for a swap, ds4 is on my profile, if you want to take a look!grin The way he's been today, I'd swap him for a bag of sugar!

As to the person in Homebase, the "lady" at the till in Smyths toystore said in front of all my boys "Oh, you went for the girl and were disappointed!" about poor ds3 who was a tiny in the buggy! I was so angry

misdee Fri 15-Aug-08 17:48:20

awww CM he is gorgeous, how old is he now?

wil lswap for dd3, who is being a PITA and unpacking boxes as quickly as i am unpacking them.

Peachy Fri 15-Aug-08 17:49:52

ah i get the reverse misdee

sod them all

btw misdee- bas git heart all clear on Tuesday grin

there is some umming now that the boys asd is a misdiagnosis of nf1 and Bas has the birthmarks.....


BUT HEART CLEAR! YAY!

mamamufin Fri 15-Aug-08 17:51:58

Some people make me so angry angry.
I am expecting ds2 in a couple of weeks. People have said to me "oh never mind" "what a shame" "it would have been nice to have 1 of each" "you can always have another" "you must really want a girl" WTF. I just want a healthy, happy child. Some People honestly make me feel like Ive got the booby prize sad and its like a kick to the stomach every time.

MmeLindt Fri 15-Aug-08 17:52:23

How rude.

I like lippy's reply about being disappointed in other people's reaction.

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