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i dont think i am but need reassurance, pathetic really

(14 Posts)
loopylou6 Fri 15-Aug-08 11:17:09

my ds (9) stays at my mum and dads every friday night, sometimes more in the hols, dd (4) has never stayed because she was to much hard work hmm anyway now shes got older shes started noticing that she cant go but her brother can, ive pointed this out to my parents and told them its really not fair on dd. they have said that they will have both of them to night, so once id picked my jaw up off the floor i excitedly made plans to have friends round tonight, something i dont do much as the noise disturbs dd and i dont have much fun shushing everyone all the time grin have just told ds that dd will be staying at nans with him and hes really seen his arse with me, told me ive spoilt his night with nan and started crying sad i feel really guilty but tbh it will be nice to have some time off and do as we please, plus dd is really excited that shes finally allowed to go, but i feel soooo guilty, thoughts?

Cappuccino Fri 15-Aug-08 11:19:01


WideWebWitch Fri 15-Aug-08 11:19:33

Don't give in to him, it's nto his divine right to have your mum to himself, tell him not to be so unkind to his sister and just tell him it is NOT negotiable.

I have ds who is 10 and dd who is 4 too and ds is currently on holiday with my mum, who won't take dd because she's too much work. It's a PITA and not very fair althoigh luckily in my case dd doesn't remotely want to go so that's good!

tamarto Fri 15-Aug-08 11:20:10

Your DS is acting spoilt as he is used to having the grandparents to himself he need to learn that DD should and will be included too. A good comprimise would be to have them on alternative fridays.

PS. don't feel guilty.

WideWebWitch Fri 15-Aug-08 11:20:15

Give him a hug though and tell him it's ok to cry but that you and dd love him and they'll both have a lovely time.

loopylou6 Fri 15-Aug-08 11:23:44

ohhh thanks everyone, just what i wanted to hear grin i agree he is acting spoilt, but its nice to hear from other people to confirm that i am not being mean IYSWIM

MrsWeasley Fri 15-Aug-08 11:27:58

Can DS have an extra night? I can understand his disappointment, it’s his special thing but he also needs to share.

My parents do this with my niece and nephew. Nephew stays over every weekend and most of every week during the holidays but niece (3) only stays occasionally. She stays at her other Grandmothers to enable bro and his girlfriend to have some "space"

loopylou6 Fri 15-Aug-08 11:30:49

ds will probably also stay on sunday night and a couple of times during the week aswell, my dc only have 1 set of grandparents, so that makes it more difficult i guess

more Fri 15-Aug-08 11:31:24

How about next time your dd goes on her own and your ds stays at home with you so you can spend some quality time with him alone?
By the way yanbu.

loopylou6 Fri 15-Aug-08 11:34:15

that would be fine with me more, if he agrees to it, hes very territorial over his grandparents, am suprised he doesnt wee on them grin

mumeeee Fri 15-Aug-08 11:37:09

YANBU.Just reassure him that your DD won't be saying everytime he does.

more Fri 15-Aug-08 11:39:53

lol, I dare him grin

unknownrebelbang Fri 15-Aug-08 11:45:35

YANBU. And I would arrange for dd to go by herself next time if possible.

I can understand him being upset, but they're DD's grandparents too.

loopylou6 Fri 15-Aug-08 11:48:44

thanks,i feel better now (and have just had a giggle as a mental image of ds cocking his leg at my mum and dad popped into my head grin hmm) i can start to look forward to tonight now, kids ay.

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