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AIBU?

to be really cross with DH's friend over this??

4 replies

PussinJimmyChoos · 14/08/2008 22:42

DH's best mate lives in Syria (DH's home country). He is in the process of applying for Canadian citizenship with his wife. They have one DS who is not even two and she is expecting their second child in about 3.5mths. They need to go to Canada on a regular basis as its a requirement of the application or something and were planning to stop in the UK and see us prior to going there.

Dh gets an e-mail from his friend today and opens it with me there, I express an interest as want to know when they are coming, dates, how long etc. I'm horrified to read that the DH is arguing with his wife (who is my friend) over the issue of leaving their son with her parents ....for a month!

I was at this and without thinking I leaned over and scrolled down to read the rest of the e-mail. This is wrong as was Dh's e-mail etc, but was so shocked. DH went mad and shut the computer down, but not before I read that his friend was going to 'insist' on this matter..

My heart is really bleeding for her as I feel that he will get his own way and I couldn't bear to leave my DS for a night let alone a month and now DH and I are rowing as I said he should tactfully advise his friend on how strong the motherhood bond is etc..DH said he said something along the lines of oh she won't like it but I'm feeling so ..I know its none of my business but I can't help it!

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nametaken · 14/08/2008 23:10

YANBU but I don't think you'll get any thanks whatsoever for butting into this little marital disagreement. This is a battle for your friend I'm afraid. Is she Syrian too?

The bottom line is, she doesn't have to do any damm thing she doesn't wanna do, she just has to pluck up the courage to stand her ground.

Oh, and I'm also in the process of applying for Canadian citizenship and you do not have to go to Canada on a regular basis as a requirement of the application.

If you think he's bullying his wife then don't entertain him when he comes to the UK.

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PussinJimmyChoos · 14/08/2008 23:16

Really? DH told me that they have to have spent a certain amount of time there before can get green card or something. They even had their first DS there to make the process easier...

She is Syrian...I'm just a bit as I know the men do have a habit of getting their way over there. Its not Islamic, just cultural...I'm just aching at how she must be feeling..I really hope she doesn't give in!!

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nametaken · 14/08/2008 23:21

Don't need a green card for Canada - that's a USA requirement.

Anyway, there are 4 or 5 different ways of getting Canadian residency so maybe the route they are going down does require it.

I really don't understand why he thinks it's a problem to take a 2 year old with them though. Can't she say her mum won't do it?

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PussinJimmyChoos · 14/08/2008 23:29

I don't know. I've text her and pretended I didn't know anything and said ooh be fun for DS to play with your DS and am waiting to see what she text back. Am hoping she'll say oh DH is saying x, y z and then I'll do my best to encourage her.

I don't think he can be arsed with the hassle of a toddler tbh...well tough shit, don't have kids if you can't take the rough with the smooth!