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to carry my child in a sling?

(69 Posts)
princessglitter Thu 14-Aug-08 19:03:59

I have carried my 10 month old in various slings and wraps since birth. We occasionally use a pushchair, but she loves to be close to me, particularly when she's tired.

As I have a toddler and find double buggies somewhat cumbersome on public transport (I don't drive, so this is important)slings are also the ultimate in practicality.

At the moment I use a ring sling and a mei tai (square of cloth with four straps that can be used for front or back carries) and find them incredibly comfortable.

I have had lots of positive comments, but sadly do get stared at a lot (these types of slings are not usual round here) and today one old lady actually stopped and looked me up and down agressively before walking on. I assume because I had dd2 in the mei tai on my front, sleeping. I also had someone say 'That can't be good for that baby' when dd2 was happily sleeping in a hip carry in the ring sling.

I'm not the kind of person who likes attention of any kind and I'm starting to feel like an oddity now. I try to do the best for my children, as I know most parents do. I read to them, take them to fun places, feed them healthy food etc. I hate the thought that someone might be thinking that I'm a bad parent because I do something different from the norm. Surely its not THAT weird?

belgo Thu 14-Aug-08 19:05:46

Don't worry about it. I once had a woman accuse me of suffocating my dd2 who was in an ergo on my back - I was with my mother at the time and the woman whacked my mother on the arm to make sure she got her point across! We laughed at her.

GreenMonkies Thu 14-Aug-08 19:06:46

Well, it is unusual, but don't let that stop you.

I still carry my two year old in a ring sling regularly, and DD1 (who will be 5 neaxt week) had a sling assisted piggy back a few weeks ago.

You're doing a great job, YANBU, ignore the idiots.


blackcoffeenosugar Thu 14-Aug-08 19:08:04

Don't worry.. I slinged DS1 Loads.. just because he loved it soooo much!!.. and isn't it one of the oldest forms of carrying baby about??

ShowOfHands Thu 14-Aug-08 19:09:17

Oh I always stare at people with slings. I'm either thinking how cute their baby is or eyeing up the sling itself. You know, like a bloke might eye up a car. I stopped and chatted to a chap today who had his dd in a mei tai. I had dd in my didymos. I didn't know him, just chatted over a mutual love of slings.

Perhaps some of the people are admiring/surprised/interested and the others are just nosey and ill-formed.

Hold your head up high and march on.

pooter Thu 14-Aug-08 19:09:32

have you seen the website ? i met a lot of lovely slingers that way.

and of course YANBU!! You are doing absolutely the best thing for your child!

staranise Thu 14-Aug-08 19:10:52

i carried my 2 year old in an ergo all the time til i got pg again - it's not weird and am looking forward to slinging the new baby! can't bear pushchairs, much prefer to have the baby close to me. who cares what people think?

kazbeth Thu 14-Aug-08 19:11:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

funnypeculiar Thu 14-Aug-08 19:13:05

It's unusual, ergo (scuse pun) people will stare. They're not necessarily staring in a bad way, remember. I always assumed people were staring because me & dd looked so cool grin

princessglitter Thu 14-Aug-08 19:16:16

That's true, I'm assuming the worst. Although I'm sure the old lady today was disapproving, she made it so obvious she was staring. I think she wanted me to challenge her. I bet if I had been a foul mouthed harridan who was shouting and swearing at her children she would have just put her head down and walked on by. I think I looked like a vulnerable target.

ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 19:26:52

I often stare at mums with babies in slings. This is because you can't always see the baby and I always like to have a good look at a passing tiddler! Especially little newborns. Hope I don't come across as scary!

Old women probably get annoyed as it means they can't come and coo over them, and chuck their cheeks.

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 19:51:33

Its reaction like this that is putting me off using my ringsling in public so far we ahev only used it round the house & garden, as i would hate to be looked/stared at

funnypeculiar Thu 14-Aug-08 19:56:04

I stare too, in a haze of happy memories smile. And i send dd over to have a good look smile

Honestly, missjennipenni, I never
noticed miserable looks when wearing mine - but I reckon I got a spontaneous positive comment at least once a week - in fact I ended up keeping some cards of a the sling site I bought from in my purse as I got so many people asking where I'd bought mine (beautiful ring sling)

princessglitter Thu 14-Aug-08 20:01:20

I think I was just unlucky and I do get more positive reactions. It's just I tend to dwell on the negative!

EllieG Thu 14-Aug-08 20:12:44

I had some silly girl ask me the other day 'Is she comfy in there?' when DD was in sling. I just said, 'No, really uncomfortable, that's why she's sound asleep'. Have also had people asking if it's good for her blah blah - ignore them, they are stupid. DD loves her sling, and I think it has made her into a very secure and happy little baby.

EllieG Thu 14-Aug-08 20:14:02

Oh forgot to say, have also, to be fair, had lots of people stop me to say how lovely they think it is to carry my baby like that, and how sweet and comfy she looks. Much more positive than negative comments in general.

ChairmumMiaow Thu 14-Aug-08 20:23:57

PrincessGlitter - I think you must have been unlucky. I've carried DS around in his kari-me, huggababy and patapum slings since he was born, and use them more and more as he's just happier that way. (Despite the fact that he was nearly 20lb at 6mo (nearly 7mo now))

I only ever get (that I notice) nice smiles and comments. Lots of "he looks comfy in there" and old ladies coming and tickling his chin etc (they never do that in the pushchair) - and I don't recall having seen another wrap or ring sling in public, apart from at the baby show (although I know quite a few people who use them around the house)

Hold your head high and know that you're doing your best for your DD - its what she likes! If I ever see you you'll get a big grin :-)

ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 20:25:33

MissJenni could you venture out with friends/family in tow when you go public with the sling? They will make you feel braver, and like everything, once you've done it a couple of times it will seem dead easy and you won't know what you worried about!

FrannyandZooey Thu 14-Aug-08 20:28:18

I've had loads of children especially commenting on ds2 in his wrap sling

when I carried ds1 on hip in ring sling he used to get loads of old ladies talking to him
I think you have been unlucky, what a shame

ChirpyGirl Thu 14-Aug-08 20:30:35

I have had negative looks but then I just chunter away to whichever DD I am carrying and ignore them, they then tend to say 'Oh, aren't they happy in that' (Like they are surprised!)
I get more comments of the 'oh wow, that looks so handy my sister/sil/friend/daughter could use one, at which point I whip out a bit of scrap paper with the type of slings you can get and some websites for them to try.

Ignore them and carry on cuddling!

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 20:31:44

chukky - i think im going to brave it when the kids go back to school, ill take DS in the ringsling and just brave the looks!

mrsleroyjethrogibbs Thu 14-Aug-08 20:33:42

i have only had positive comments. ds is nearly 3 and still has a carry especially when he is tired. Keep going with the carrying

cmotdibbler Thu 14-Aug-08 20:33:42

Loads of people comment on DS (who is 2) in his MT - and its all been positive. When I see other sling users I'm quite excited though, as you just don't see that many people using them, especially with toddlers.

Chairmum - your DS is soo gorgeous that its no wonder that people want to tickle him !

princessglitter Thu 14-Aug-08 20:35:06

I sometimes wonder if I'm carrying her wrong? Sometimes her head leans back in the mei tai when she falls asleep.

ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 20:35:58

Miss Jenni good luck - and remember if people are staring it's probably because they want a look at a lovely little baby not because they are mean!

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