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To be offended/insulted by what my DH said?

(25 Posts)
TheHedgeWitch Thu 14-Aug-08 16:09:48

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SpandexIsMyEnemy Thu 14-Aug-08 16:12:07

a bit rude of him tbh.

wouldn't nec be offended or insulted thou. maybe a bit put out - sort of 'hmm bloody cheek' but that would be it.

beanieb Thu 14-Aug-08 16:13:26

well, if you hadn't had a conversation about it I think it's fair enough.

Have you argued about money before? Maybe he's just wary because he thinks it may be an issue if he doesn't mention it?

slavemum Thu 14-Aug-08 16:14:46

Cheeky git! Just make him aware he's paying for tax on new car.

beanieb Thu 14-Aug-08 16:15:31

or share the tax on the new car!?

meemar Thu 14-Aug-08 16:18:37

Was he just clarifying, in case you weren't aware?

I think if your finances are separate then the issue of 'his' money and 'your' money will always be raised.

Lazycow Thu 14-Aug-08 16:19:47

This wouldn't even be a discussio nwith us because it would go into our joint account and some of it would be used to pay the new tax disc. the rest woudl stay in the joint account.

mayorquimby Thu 14-Aug-08 17:15:51

if you are in the habit of keeping seperate finances and it had not been discussed i don't see why it's such a big deal.
it needed saying, he said it, it's done with.

hercules1 Thu 14-Aug-08 17:29:59

Do you not share money? It would never occur to either dh or me that either of of our money was his or mine.

givemeabreak Thu 14-Aug-08 20:12:41

We don't share money either. We either both have money or neither of us have money.

givemeabreak Thu 14-Aug-08 20:12:41

We don't share money either. We either both have money or neither of us have money.

TheHedgeWitch Thu 14-Aug-08 20:24:07

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ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 20:32:51

Phew I'd be naffed off!

If you can't have a joint account because of the CCJ could one of you (you probably!) open a household account into which you both pay (proportionately or however) and out of which all the household and joint bills (e.g. car) are paid. This has always worked well for me. It's all decided in advance, the bills are paid and everyone's happy!

Tortington Thu 14-Aug-08 20:34:11

this mine and yours shit gts on my tits.

i dont get it your married

it fucks me right off

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 14-Aug-08 20:36:18

Next time you do the shopping, buy yourself something really nice from the bakery counter. A big fat cream eclair or something.

Then, when your DH comes home, go to the fridge, open it up and say "Just so we're on the right track, the eclair is MINE"

ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 20:40:42

Custardo if I was with a man, married or otherwise, who had bad credit or CCJ's in his past I would not want to share all my money with him. It makes sense to be wary. Not to mention the keeping credit scores separate thing.

Another scenario: My parents had a joint account and when my dad left with no warning he cleared it out. That was not a good thing.,

I always advocate being fair and even with what you pay in, but not putting all your eggs in one basket. You never know what the future holds. Yes I trust my DH utterly and we are going to move to a traditional joint account with all our money going in, but I still want my own savings.

TheHedgeWitch Thu 14-Aug-08 20:45:07

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TheHedgeWitch Thu 14-Aug-08 20:47:26

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ChukkyPig Thu 14-Aug-08 21:11:28

HedgeWitch I wonder if it would be worth getting an account that you both pay into and all the outgoings are from. It will avoid any arguments in future. It's so difficult to split fairly when one pays certain bills and the other another. People often don't appreciate how much food etc comes to.

And, as a strident feminist, I have to say that if I were you I would be a bit put out that he pays "the important stuff" i.e. mortgage and bills and you pay for supermarket and children. So he provides while you nurture, even while you're both putting in. That's probably just me though!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Fri 15-Aug-08 11:41:13

or do what I do - we have my account where my money goes, and a joint account where his money goes...hee hee hee

Tortington Fri 15-Aug-08 14:54:24

chukkypig ( great name BTW) i understand your point abou the CCJ's - i have a seperate bank account - but i wouldnt say "this is mine" and i wouldn't expect dh to say it either - at the end of the day it all goes on the same shit - no matter who gets it.

ChukkyPig Fri 15-Aug-08 19:35:11

I got you now Custardo. Yes I thought his "this is mine" was really off too.

Monchichi Fri 15-Aug-08 19:48:06

That's unpleasant. He wants your blessing to shift the goalposts of a normal marriage. Instead of sharing what's left, or what's yours is mine, he not only wants to hoard what's left, but he wants you to give him the green light to do so.


Pennies Fri 15-Aug-08 19:50:39

Isn't one of the wedding vows "all that I have I share with you?" I'd remind him of that if I were you.

Monchichi Fri 15-Aug-08 19:52:14

Or maybe you could say, from now on I'll only be doing exactly half of the cooking/cleaning/childminding.... just checking we're on the same track here.

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