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... to be fed up with comments on my sons facial birthmark?

(91 Posts)
missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:35:38

AIBU to get defensive when people pass comment on my sons stork-bite type birthmark? Its between his eyebrows, but TBH i hardly notice it, so i get really annoyed when people feel they have mention it. I get comments like "oh, will he grow out of it?". Is it wrong of me to get totally narked and wish they would shut up?

Theres a pic of my beautiful baby in my profile, so you can see how noticable it is!

CoteDAzur Thu 14-Aug-08 14:36:54

You don't seem to have a profile page. Or you haven't made it available for public viewing.

YANBU, though.

cornsilk Thu 14-Aug-08 14:38:15

No yanbu it is rude.

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-08 14:40:05

I don't know - post a pic and we'll decide
(Sorry, I am broody, so any excuse for a baby pic! No, yanbu at all, there was thread like this recently which had some good retorts, I'll see if I can find it)

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:40:52

has anyone else had it happen?

Stealth - thats what i need, some good retorts!

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:41:30

Hmm, my profile seems fine, dont know why people cant see it!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 14-Aug-08 14:42:39

1. it's rude to comment
2. stork-bites are really common and I would have thought aren't worth commenting on anyway.
3. some people just feel they have to say something, even if it's crass and rude, ignore them.

cornsilk Thu 14-Aug-08 14:42:51

People think it's okay to comment on how thin my ds is and in his earshot as well. (he's 10) It really annoys me, it is so rude.

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-08 14:43:43


heartmummy Thu 14-Aug-08 14:43:53

i know how you feel my dd had a feeding tube bright yellow i got very peed off when people would mention it LIKE IVE NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE its been out for a month and shes doing really well but now been replaced with other remarks (she will be three in november and has a heart condition) like shes to big to be in that pushchair and there have been others i guess i must grow a thick skin

Piffle Thu 14-Aug-08 14:44:03

can't see it either
My ds2 hasstork mark on one eye more obv at sometimes than others
Most folks assume its an injury.
We were told it would fade but he is 16mths and nothing yet
I am happy to explain tbh

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-08 14:44:34

ah you were on it
sorry blush

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:46:00

Im not sure when its supposed to fade, so i dont really tell people anything because i dont know much about it myself! I just presume it will fade as he gets older?

thanks for the link stealth!


missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:46:32

ha ha, so i was!

lizandlulu Thu 14-Aug-08 14:49:34

my d had one in excatly the same place but it faded. to be honest i cant remember anyone commenting on it, but if they had a would be furious. loads of babies have them and mostly they do fade but even if they dont there is nothing wrong with them.

dd is nearly 3 and hers had faded to nothing except when she is crying hard and it comes up slightly. she also had one on the very side of her nose which also comes up.

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:53:11

My Ds also has a tiny one on the side of his nose, it looks like he has scratched himself.

Yesterday, someone said "oohhhh, whats that on his head??" with a pitying look on their face, I just wanted to slap them

Blu Thu 14-Aug-08 14:53:11

Everyone imagines they are the only person to mention this oh-so-original topic...I can completely understand how tiresome it is.

I think I might say something like 'I don't know..why, does it matter?' or 'when he's an adult perhaps he'll answer your question himself' - all terribly off-handedly in a pleasantish sort of way.

People have always asked questions about DS's leg...torrents of strangers all making the initial comment of 'what's wrong with his leg?'. SO thoughtless...for a child to repeatedly hear from total strangers that there is something wrong with him.

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 14:56:52

Im grateful my DS has no idea what people are saying, and still grins madly at them. How awful fo ryour wee boy though

For some reason, if its family who ask, im fine about it. Its just random strangers that get my goat!

orangehead Thu 14-Aug-08 14:58:45

I have a birthmarks on my check and grew up with people constantly asking if I had been in a fight hmm. Tbh it never really bothered me. Two of them have completely dissappeared and the remaining two you can hardly see.
Yanbu, its very rude for people to ask

3andnomore Thu 14-Aug-08 15:05:44 is rude of people to comment....but tbh...why should it really bother you to love your child, you don't even notice it, it's not a real issue, esppcially as it sounds a really minor mark...why get annoyed about it.
Just ignore it!

lizandlulu Thu 14-Aug-08 15:22:52

cause people should not be so ignorant

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 15:26:03

It bothers me because i feel that people are focusing on a minor detail on his face rather than seeing the lovely baby that he is

missjennipenni Thu 14-Aug-08 15:27:18

ha ha realised i had my profile set to private!

DaisySteiner Thu 14-Aug-08 15:28:55

My dd had a large haemangioma just above her eye (similar to a stork bite, but they're like a big red/purple lump)

The number of people who asked me if I'd dropped her was unbelievable, not to mention all the stairs and whispers when we went out.

Fortunately it's not disappeared almost completely, but it wasn't much fun at the time, so I sympathise. In the end I just got used to it and was able to ignore the comments.

3andnomore, I think the reason it can be so upsetting is that as a mother you think your child is the most gorgeous, perfect little being ever to exist and so for people to comment on it and act as though it's very unsightly is really hurtful.

DaisySteiner Thu 14-Aug-08 15:29:43

sorry, fortunately now disappeared. blush

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