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to tell my friend its too much too soon?????????????????

(10 Posts)
hayley2u Wed 13-Aug-08 23:52:07

my friend is married, but is split up fromher husband she has 3 kids 1 that lives with her 2 live with their dad, they have been over 1 year. although they are not yet divorced. anyway we went away for the weekend to stay with one of my male friends, my friend met one of his mates who she hit it off with straight away, so a month later we are back from our second weekend away. now she tells me they are talking about gwtting engaged and him moving up for good next month.
he is a nice man but i feel this is far too quick for her, and i have just been the one to text her and say that i think he s great but i m worried about her as feels she needs to get to know him more, as she has kids to think about. am i just being very un romantic or should she slow doown a little

1wish Wed 13-Aug-08 23:56:04

Is she planning to actually get married soon or just to be engaged?

hayley2u Thu 14-Aug-08 00:04:21

well in her excitement she is talking of geting married as soon as her divorce is through

sb6699 Thu 14-Aug-08 00:06:11

You should gently ask her if she's sure about things but probably not much more than that as she may think your raining on her parade.

As a friend, just be there for her if it all falls apart.

Fwiw, My now dh moved in with me 6 weeks after we met and we've now been together for 10 years (married for 8) and have 3 dc's!

1wish Thu 14-Aug-08 00:10:43

I'd tell her you're happy for her, but just remind her that new relationships often feel very intense and like you could marry them and live with them forever, but she really should give it at least a year or so to see how it goes.

A year isn't long really but it should give her sufficent time to see if it really is love and how things are day to day and with her dc's.

Seuss Thu 14-Aug-08 01:00:11

If she's really thinking about marrying soon try and talk her out of it - otherwise keep a low profile. Hopefully she'll see sense in her own time or it will turn out to be the real thing - either way she is probably too caught up in it to listen right now. I'd just be ready to step in before it really really went to far.

zookeeper Thu 14-Aug-08 05:01:21

I would suggest to her that she slow down a bit but I'd be cautious about telling any single mum she has kids to think about - she will be only too aware of that and you risk alienating her.

hayley2u Thu 14-Aug-08 10:35:51

well i spoke to her just said i love her to pieces and i am happy if she is happy but, i said she has to think of her kids and her ex hubbie. he has the kids and can see him being an arse with finding out someone is living with them so soon. id be the samer if my ex p so soon moved someone in. she agreed with me and said she will speak to her new partner about it. i said if it is the real thing it ll last whatever hapens, but she s been shit on my 2 many men to jump in to it n

zookeeper Thu 14-Aug-08 14:25:12

good for you Hayley you sound like a good mate

YoungYolandaYorgensen Thu 14-Aug-08 14:40:35

You sound like a great friend, Hayley!smile FWIW, my dsis moved her dp in shortly after splitting with her xp and they are still together 8 years later. He has been a very good parent to her dd.

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