After 5 years of bad luck and heartache (3 Mc's and death of DH's best friend) my DH and I decided to give ourselves and our 2 DD's a fresh start. This meant a new job for DH and a move from Scotland to a new home in a very small idyllic village in Cumbria. I left behind my entire support network thinking that it would be allright as my MIL & FIL were only 30 mins away. We have had an up and down relationship with them - they do not always respect our wishes as parents and have boundary issues but there are a lot of good things about them - they love their grandchidren dearly. They have however withdrawn support and comunication away from myself and my 2 DD's when they were 21m and 3 m for 6 months because they fell out with my husband. It destroyed me and I have been having treatment for anxiety and panic problems ever since. I thought I was going mad. 3 days after we moved into our new home (mortgaged up to the hilt) they told us they'd put in an offer on a house 100yds away from us and had it accepted did we mind? At first we thought what can we say we love them how can we tell them that it is not okay we'll have to muddle through, then we realised our fresh start which they encouraged has been destroyed - it is a tiny village how can we not be upset, it'll be like being back home with the parents. It made my husband physically sick to finally tell them, he told them he loved them and that if it had been a vilage nearby we would have loved it but that it was not what we wanted. They cannot understand our position and intend to go on regardless. Are we being unreasonable? BTW they are downsizing and so money to buy elsewhere is not an issue, they are retired and have no links to the village/reasons for moving apart from us. It is destroying my husband, and I am beginning to wish that we had never moved.
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Dh & I have asked his parents not to buy house 100yds from our new home
78 replies
nolembit · 13/08/2008 20:59
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