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To hate it when people call my son's hair red?

(114 Posts)
CuppaTeaJanice Wed 13-Aug-08 16:01:10

The one thing I didn't want to pass on if I had a boy was my red hair! I hated it as a kid, but I don't mind it now if I have it long and wear black mascara. It's worse for a boy - all the redheaded boys I knew suffered years of teasing and humiliation.

Thankfully, he (mostly) got his dad's brown hair. DS's hair has a hint of red in the sunshine. I like to call it 'strawberry brown'.

So why do so many people say 'ooh, he's going to have your colouring' like that's a compliment! Is red (or red-tinged) hair now a good thing for a boy to have? Or do brown/blonde/blackheads compare it to their own hair and call it red, even though his hair is clearly brown?

littlelapin Wed 13-Aug-08 16:03:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior Wed 13-Aug-08 16:05:01

My hair is red. I am red haired and proud.

Get your lashes dyed. Helps a lot.

tamarto Wed 13-Aug-08 16:05:47

I was quite upset (well slightly miffed) that DD1 didn't have red hair when born as i'd chosen her dad with that in mind wink

She is actually very blond just now no idea where that came from

mollythetortoise Wed 13-Aug-08 16:06:37

there was something in the guardian about this on saturday. Being proud to have ginger children. My ds may well be ginger.. he hass really golden hair now at 15 months. I will be proud of him if he does have ginger hair and tell him he is lucky because most people don't. I was always told by my dad that freckles are a sign of beauty (I had loads as a child but was blond) and I was always very proud of my freckles and felt sorry for those who didn't have any. I aim to instill a similar confidence in my son if he does turn ginger. I think ginger hair colour is actually beautiful.

lilymolly Wed 13-Aug-08 16:06:44

My dd is "strawberry blonde" and I am amazed at how many positive comments we get.

Why do you not perceive it as a compliment?
I think thats quite sad really.

However I do see your concerns about teasing etc. But you need to be the MOST supportive person in the world if he is to become positive about his hair. You are his mum arent you? He will pick up on these negative vibes btw.

Please try to be positive

derelicte Wed 13-Aug-08 16:06:48

Ditto what LL said. I've probably said something similar to parents of red-headed children.

I dye my own hair red sometimes and am envy of those who are naturally red. Bet he and you have got a gorgeous skin colour too. grin

CuppaTeaJanice Wed 13-Aug-08 16:17:05

Thanks for the posts. I guess I'm starting to think about my own childhood more now I have a child of my own, and remembering how red hair was viewed by other children. I'm glad (most) adults can see it's beauty. I just hope attitudes have changed in the schoolyard.

I do think his hair is beautiful - it's just interesting that I see it as brown and others seem to think it's red.

Miaou Wed 13-Aug-08 16:21:09

But why are you upset when people are positive about red hair? Surely you would be offended if they said "Oh your poor ds, he has red hair like you"

I'm quite puzzled by your reaction tbh!

CuckooClockWorkOrange Wed 13-Aug-08 16:24:01

BECAUSE,,,, they don't know that you'll be so upset to think that you have passed on a physical characteristic to your son...

My own son has a MOP of curly hair, and twenty times a day I hear something like "oh he didn't lick that off a stone did he?!". I like chewing the fat with strangers though smile

motherinferior Wed 13-Aug-08 16:24:18

I have two words for you:

Julian Rhind-Tutt.

<dissolves into pool of lust>

CuppaTeaJanice Wed 13-Aug-08 16:26:00

I don't get upset, it just irks me because his hair is brown, not red.

LazyLinePainterJane Wed 13-Aug-08 16:27:56

Because it is a compliment. Don't tar the rest of us and our beautiful red-headed children with your insecurity brush, thanks.

Two more words Damien Lewis

Actually not sure that is appropriate on this thread. Blame motherinferior, she started it grin

raggety Wed 13-Aug-08 16:28:18

I am fascinated and envious of people with red hair, men or women. I made a bit of an ass of myself at the weekend commenting on the colouring of a girl who was sharing a roundabout with my dd at the park. I was talking to her and her Dad but she got a bit embarassed. She had the most beautiful chestnut brown/auburn with red highlights hair, fine white skin and deep brown eyes. Really unusual and stunning. No hair-dye would ever give you that.

hatrick Wed 13-Aug-08 16:28:36

Message withdrawn

raggety Wed 13-Aug-08 16:29:30

Apparently Robert Redford is a redhead. I always thought he was blond/strawberry blond?

LazyLinePainterJane Wed 13-Aug-08 16:30:03

BUT......it seems to me that you only need have a tiny amount of red in your hair for people to comment on it. My hair is very much auburn, and goes dull brown in the winter. And still at school, I was called ginger. DH was as well and his hair was mainly blonde with hints of red, not even enough to tell in a photograph!

motherinferior Wed 13-Aug-08 16:34:29

It obviously isn't brown: it's red.

Now, I get narked at being called 'ginger'; but red, I can handle.

raggety Wed 13-Aug-08 16:35:50

I suppose it IS the comments that are irritating. There's nothing wrong with being a redhead but people (myself included) feel they have the right to comment on it. People who are very tall or very small must feel the same way?

motherinferior Wed 13-Aug-08 16:39:14

Speaking as a shortarse, that would be a yes.

(Shortarse. Red hair. Enormous bosoms. I am a walking cariacature, I really am.)

CuppaTeaJanice Wed 13-Aug-08 16:39:56

Just googled Julian Rhind-Tutt. I see your point, but surely he's strawberry blonde?

I guess thinking back to the years of 'Duracell battery/ginger minge/carrot top' jibes has scared me a bit. It'd be my fault if he had to endure the same.

Collar and cuffs don't always match, by the way!

TheGirlWithGreenEyes Wed 13-Aug-08 16:42:17

I hate "ginger" too... the OPs ds sounds like he is auburn rather than red-haired though

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow Wed 13-Aug-08 16:44:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiepotatie Wed 13-Aug-08 16:46:05

Our LO has strawberry blonde hair,which is beautiful, I myself have a slight reddy tone to my hair, what bothers me is when someone goes "oh she's ginger! shock" Like she has some sort of disease!(it wouldn't bother me if she was ginger though) Pisses me off no end.

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