My parents and DH's parents live 350 miles apart, for years we lived bang between the two and saw them both for the occasional weekend, Xmas etc. When DS1 was tiny we moved near to DH's parents for work reasons, meaning we're now a 6-7 hr drive from my family. We now have DS2 and flying up to visit has become impossible for me to do with two under 3's. I've offered to drive up but they're reluctant to have me do this, even though I don't mind and would break the journey with friends each way.
The thing is, my parents have taken the move really personally, and constantly snipe about the area we've moved to, DH's parents etc. I generally have a great relationship with them but this is souring it. We bought a house with plenty of room, deliberately so people could come for longer visits and feel comfortable. We live in a gorgeous holiday area so it's not as if it's a hardship to spend time here. My parents are fairly well off and retired so I don't understand why they can't just make more effort to come and see us a few times a year. DS2 is almost one and they've only seen him on three occasions, two of which we'd driven up there for. My sister lives near them and they see her two or three times a week and dote on her children (not meaning to sound jealous or bitter here, I can accept that that's the way it is given that they're much nearer!)
I would love to live nearer my family, it's where I grew up and a beautiful area, (not to mention how much easier it would be for me with the extra help with the DC's) but it just isn't practical for DH's work, which is pretty non transferable. It's got to the stage where they are even off with DH, and his parents when they see him, and it makes me feel so uncomfortable.
I try to be so diplomatic but it's really difficult as my mum can be a bit touchy at any mention of the family in law, it's driving me mad, any ideas on how to deal with this?
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AIBU?
to feel that I just can't win on this one??
7 replies
sickofthisrain · 13/08/2008 13:39
OP posts:
TheCranberriess ·
15/01/2023 01:25
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