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Only people who don't do it properly would think parenthood is great

(32 Posts)
lifeisNOTaboxofchocolates Tue 12-Aug-08 21:23:55

My dh and I both agree
Only people who have an easy time seem to think that parenthood is easy and wonderful and brilliant and a joy and a gift
If your child is full on and doesn't sleep then it is bloody hard
If you choose not to be consistent and not to discipline then life is easy
All the best parents say no, It is the easy option to say yes all the time
If you have lots of help nearby then that makes a massive difference too

Just feel like life is so bloody hard today and that our friends (who aren't anywhere near as honest as us) seem to find parenthood a walk in the park.
I'm sure you will all think I am being unreasonable and for that I am sorry but I have to vent

wasabipeanut Tue 12-Aug-08 21:25:39

Rough day?

objectivity Tue 12-Aug-08 21:26:08

Yes but when you start being the parent who doesn't say 'no' then the consequences do become very unpleasant and very, very hard.

Either way it is very hard work, and the enjoyable treasured moments are very often fleeting for either camp.

NicMac Tue 12-Aug-08 21:26:55

I think we all have bad and good days and some people won't admit that actually it is hard word. But I think the rewards are tremendous and far outweight the hard days..

meemar Tue 12-Aug-08 21:27:39

You sound really p*ssed off.

NicMac Tue 12-Aug-08 21:27:41

work I meant not word - sorry, tired after full on day...

Pitchounette Tue 12-Aug-08 21:28:35

Message withdrawn

DustyTV Tue 12-Aug-08 21:29:07

I love parenthood, it's bloody hard work though, but I wouldn't swap what I have for anything. I hope I am doing it properly and I certainly try my hardest.

Pitchounette Tue 12-Aug-08 21:29:39

Message withdrawn

elmoandella Tue 12-Aug-08 21:29:47

i'm with you on this.

and people who put their kids in nursery so they can do housework even though they are off work on maternity angry , they always make out like it's easy to be a parent and i'm just shit at it.

georgimama Tue 12-Aug-08 21:30:16

You're right, some people seem to take it as a reflection on their parenting ability that they have easy children, particularly over the sleep issue. It is nothing more than good luck.

Those who take the path of least resistance when it comes to discipline are just storing up problems for the future.

You sound like you've had a tough day, eat some chocolate/drink some wine/have a snog with DH and let the day go.

georgimama Tue 12-Aug-08 21:30:58

You're right, some people seem to take it as a reflection on their parenting ability that they have easy children, particularly over the sleep issue. It is nothing more than good luck.

Those who take the path of least resistance when it comes to discipline are just storing up problems for the future.

You sound like you've had a tough day, eat some chocolate/drink some wine/have a snog with DH and let the day go.

mrsruffallo Tue 12-Aug-08 21:33:53

YABU
But you've had a hard day

wasabipeanut Tue 12-Aug-08 21:34:35

I think most parents would acknowledge that bringing up children is extremely hard work at times. And yes, instilling discipline and being consistent is difficult and can get depressing because you feel like the bad guy all the time.

But, um, well, thats just the deal isn't it? When you get the cuddles, I love you's and the sheer joy of watching your child grow then its worth it.

Nobody hands out awards but that's life. I can understand you being negative if you've had a particularly trying day but really, is it that bad?

WinkyWinkola Tue 12-Aug-08 21:35:18

You mustn't ever compare yourself/your life/your DCs to anyone else's. Because you never get the full picture to make a fair comparison.

I think a few people do genuinely find parenthood wonderful, a breeze and bring up well behaved children.

For most, I'd say it was very hard work, including for me. There's a lot of dissent when it comes to trying to get other people to do what you think needs to be done. Even 15 month year old tiddlers can make their protests!

pattymc Tue 12-Aug-08 21:38:01

Hi lifeisnot I hope you are reading the thread going on at the moment called The Motherhood Illusion it might cheer you up a bit x

lifeisNOTaboxofchocolates Tue 12-Aug-08 21:41:33

Do you know what's wonderful? You didn't all have a go at me.
Thanks for your suppot and words of wisdom

Once again mn puts life into perspective
georgimama you win a special prize for your suggestions smile

Thank you all and sorry for being so bloody mardy

WinkyWinkola Tue 12-Aug-08 21:43:01

You're allowed to be mardy!

georgimama Tue 12-Aug-08 21:57:44

And thanks to you too, because I have been made to feel really shit on here by some people in the last 24 hours so it's nice to be of use! Makes MN worth it.

girlsallaround Tue 12-Aug-08 21:59:56

yes, on a bad day its bloody hard, on a good day its rather wonderful.

familiaritybreedscontempt Tue 12-Aug-08 22:07:20

Yes it's hard, but you'll have many more rewarding times as your LO gets older, because you have stuck to your guns and done it the hard way.

DeeRiguer Tue 12-Aug-08 22:14:22

georgimama mn can be a bit like parenting wink

dustytv i think your post is very cute (like in a schoolgirl stylee good way) smile

its very tough sometimes, op, vent on..
discipline is better if consistant and with logic etc and copious explanations
it does get easier

hazeyjane Tue 12-Aug-08 22:36:10

I don't think being a parent is easy, but I do think it is wonderful and yes I do think it is a gift, because dh and I walked a long and difficult road to have our 2 dd's.

BTW, they are 14 months apart, both sleep badly, we do say no and we don't have relatives that live nearby.

thumbwitch Tue 12-Aug-08 22:43:16

I love being a parent, and so does DH, but he does get an easy time of it because I do all the bloody hard work!

DS is only 8mo but is starting to set his will up against mine and yes, it is hard to set your teeth and not give in - and sometimes I do give in because I will cry if I don't - but his smiles and cuddles do make it all worth it.

I have yet to find out whether I am being a good parent, a bad parent or just a good enough parent. Fingers crossed, hey - but at least DS is a happy boy most of the time.

TheHedgeWitch Tue 12-Aug-08 22:48:47

Message withdrawn

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