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....... to want to stop cooking for DH?

(11 Posts)
MinkyBorage Tue 12-Aug-08 20:55:53

I'm 7 weeks pg and knackered looking after two dc full time, oldest is 2.9. OH works long hours and atm is giving them breakfast in the morning which makes him grumpy and he requires a medal for it every morning, but he rarely gets home before 8pm. He NEVER cooks, before two weeks ago, he hadn't cooked a meal for about 6 months. A couple of weeks ago he cooked about three meals over a weekend, so he's helping out a bit more than normal.......anyway......
Tonight I was extra tired and asked him if he'd mind helping himself to beans on toast when he got in, and he texted back saying that was fine. Then he got home, asked what I was haaving, and I said I'd just grab a bit of toast and go to bed. So he puts the beans back in the cupboard and proceeds to cook himself pasta with a fresh tomato and anchovy sauce without even asking me if I'd like some.
I'm sorely tempted to start eating with dc in the evnings and letting him help himself. aibu???

MinkyBorage Tue 12-Aug-08 20:56:44

OK that might not be very clear, pg brain probably, but I think it's mean of him not to be cooking for me.

nametaken Tue 12-Aug-08 21:04:20

He probably thought that you actually wanted toast - not that you were so exhausted all you could cook was a piece of toast for yourself. Why on earth didn't you ask him to do some for you at the same time?

I don't see the problem with you eating earlier with the kids though, and leaving dh to sort himself out.

gagarin Tue 12-Aug-08 21:09:03

But he asked you what you were having - and you said toast and then bed. So how was he to know you wanted him to cook you something?

Sadly you have to be clearer than that with men!

I would say that you need to eat earlier than 8pm cos of tiredness/sickness and leave him to sort his meal out when he gets home.

mumof3lovelykids Tue 12-Aug-08 21:09:48

My Partner works nights but eats dinner in the evening before he goes. I used to have to wait til he got up before I could eat... soon put a stop to that. I now eat with the children and he heats his up when he wants it, that way I actually get a chance to sit down before 9pm.

My advice would be to make pasta or something similar that you can all have and he can heat up on his return from work.

MinkyBorage Tue 12-Aug-08 21:11:25

Thanks NT, that's why I was asking, I sometimes expect a higher level of psychic ability from him than he's capable of. However, he is unbelievably selfish, and incredibly argumentative..... ah well.

picklepie555 Tue 12-Aug-08 21:16:32

Yes blokes generally need things to be spelt out to them...bless. You did say you wanted toast perhaps he didn't realise you could stomach a full meal. Next time the same situation comes up and he asks what you are having say "I'll have whatever you are making for me thanks, darling!" grin I'm sure he didn't mean to be intentionally selfish...give him the benefit of the doubt.

SebbysMum Tue 12-Aug-08 22:08:23

This really made me laugh. We have a similar set-up here and I can really imagine the same thing happening. Poor you. Like the others I expect he thought you wanted toast. Look on the bright side - at least you had an evening off cooking dinner.

2luvlyboys Tue 12-Aug-08 22:21:37

MY dh regularly gets home after the children have gone to bed. I always eat with the dcs aged 9months and 2.11. Mostly because I think its nicer for the dcs to have me eat with them. Also when I was pregnant I wouldn't have considered eating late because of sickness/heartburn and indegistion! I hate eating late anyway tbh. I usually plate dhs dinner up and he heats it up when he gets home depending on the time hes home etc!

Onestonetogo Tue 12-Aug-08 22:25:55

Message withdrawn

MinkyBorage Wed 13-Aug-08 21:56:44

Thanks for replies, think was expecting him to be psychic. shock at your dh onestonetogo!! From now on am cooking for dc and eating with them then he can reheat whatever he wants later. Thanks.

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