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to wish my friend wouldn't tell her son that my dog will eat him?

(10 Posts)
broccolispears Tue 12-Aug-08 14:00:17

I have a large, young dog. She is boistrous, but well trained. She is very good with children. Friends with children who are scared of dogs have often asked specifically if they could spend time with my dog, as she is so well behaved and lovely with young children and babies. (I've been preggers or sprogging ever since we got the dog so it's all she knows!)

My friend's little boy is really scared of dogs. By nature, the little boy is a bold little thing, and it's not like him to be shrieky or scared. It has now got to the point where the dog has to be shut away for their entire visit. To be truthful, I find this a bit irritating because it's not as if the dog goes anywhere near the child - she just potters quietly about or sleeps on her bed - still, no point having the little boy terrified for the whole visit so away the dog goes. The thing that really bugs me though is that rather than trying to help the little boy, my friend uses the threat of my dog as a punishment; "If you do that again we'll let the dog in" and even "If you go through there the dog will eat you". It's like she actively wants her child to be afraid of dogs. It's so out of step with every other aspect of my friend's parenting.

Love2bake Tue 12-Aug-08 14:05:08

It's no wonder the child is scared then! It's a great chance for the child to get used to dogs, as your sounds so calm and child friendly. Shame the mum doesn't see it like that.

DoubleBluff Tue 12-Aug-08 14:06:16

what a stupid friend you have

broccolispears Tue 12-Aug-08 14:15:38

No, she's not stupid at all. She's lovely and a great parent in other respects. I find this dog business hard to fathom - I know there are a lot of mners who dislike dogs so thought I'd see if anyone could offer any thoughts as it leaves me scratching my head.

hollyandnoah Tue 12-Aug-08 14:20:11

:| that doesn't sound very fair, no wonder the boys afread of dogs! I mean he won't be afread for no reason.
A friend of a friend's ds was at my home, i have a cavalier spaniel and a german spitz, the little lad had never seen a dog before, but he wasnt scared at all, he was quite happy to poke and pull at them. So although he hadn't seen a dog before he wasn't afread.
Sounds like your friends ds is afread because of her.

DoubleBluff Tue 12-Aug-08 14:39:40

I don't like dogs and am allergic to them. But I encourage my DS's to interact with dogs as I don't wwant them to be scared around them as they are goin gto come into contact with htousands of them over their lifetime.
And some dogs are ok - yours sounds quite nicegrin

hercules1 Tue 12-Aug-08 14:45:38

I regularily see parents training their children to be either scared of dogs and go into a panic when they see one or to go the other extreme and go up to my dogs and pet etc without asking. Children should be wary of dogs but not afraid and know how to act safely around them.

BouncingTurtle Tue 12-Aug-08 14:47:33

Is your friend afraid of dogs? Even so I think she is VU! I'm not keen on dogs myself, but would like ds the opportunity to be around dogs - we sometimes visit my friend and her ds, they have a dog who is very lovely and gentle - though quite old. I actually wish I had more friends with dogs so that ds will get used to them and like being around them - though I draw the line at getting one grin

Miggsie Tue 12-Aug-08 14:51:53

My DD was attaacked in the street by a dog, no provocation at all. The woman who owned it was bloody useless
DD is now terrified of dogs so we have worked hard to introduce her to well behaved dogs and explain that you don't run up to dogs, they can bite if provoked. A dog on a lead is ok....that sort of thing. She will now pat a docile old dog thatour friend owns.

I don't want her to be terrified but I want her aware that dogs can bite and can be dangerous especially if poorly controlled.

I think your friend is going OTT here. It's natural for a samll child to find dogs, especially big ones, scary but telling a child silly untrue things is not on.

potoftea Tue 12-Aug-08 15:35:40

I've been scared of dogs as long as I can remember, and it has seriously curtailed my life. (I won't visit woodland, beaches, parks, etc. unless I'm with a gang of people. I drive a lot to avoid walking where there might be dogs etc.) And I wouldn't wish this phobia on my children or anyone else.
I have always tried to cover up my fear when I'm around my dc, and have encouraged them to play with friend's dogs.
Your friend is being an idiot in this situation. She's setting up her child for a lifelong phobia, and it's not fair on him. Teach him respect for dogs, but not fear.

It's like people in the doctor's waiting room telling their dc to be quiet or the doctor will give them a "needle". Drives me mad. God knows what the poor child thinks when he does need an injection.angry

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